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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Moving away.

1 reply

Deemamma · 24/01/2024 08:58

So I left an extremely abusive relationship of 17 years and have now after 7 years found my feet, got my life back on track have a fantastic partner and a young child together. I have older kids from previous relationship 21&15. Problem is the 21 year old got blazing drunk one time we were away on a family break and hurled abuse at me and has moved out our house and into her dads.
Never had contact from her for almost a year. My health this year has been really worrisome and me and my partner have realised that we have virtually no one round about to help us with the little one who is 2 when we have health issues.
We decided that we were gonna move to be closer to family. Spoke with my 15 year old who said that it was the right decision for his young sibling and for us as we are not getting any younger. He would live with his dad for a few months until he finished school then he would think about joining us. Now hearing that my 21 year old has said we were her kids before him (relating to the two year old sibling). This has made me really angered as the two year old sibling doesn't even remember the 21 year old it was that long ago they visited. At Christmas we had myself and my partner and my toddler the whole day no family around which felt really lonely. Don't think moving away to be have family around for our young child is wrong. AIBU?

OP posts:
Catza · 24/01/2024 09:42

The 21 y/o elected to go no contact with you, she can hardly get in a huff that you decided to move to where you have more support. She is an adult and is fully mobile so there is no reason why she can't visit you. I wouldn't stay put just for the fear of upsetting her. Keep the lines of communication open and let her know that she is still your child and is loved. That's all you can really do.

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