DD is 17, Y13. She's an amazing girl, so kind and loving, passionate and funny.
For sixth form she split from most of her school friends, they went to college or the sixth form associated to her school, she moved to a more local one as we had moved when she was in year 10.
DD does well in school, mainly 5s and 6s at GCSE with 7 in History. She likes school but doesn't necessarily love it.
DD has always struggled to find something she loves to do, she doesn't have any hobbies really, tried lots but never progressed far (even if she kept going she'd get frustrated as everyone she started with would move up before her). She spends most of her evenings reading/watching tv etc.
She's beautiful, but doesn't agree with me on that, she's not super skinny which I think is a positive, she's a healthy size 10-12. She thinks she's very plain, says no one really notices her.
In comparison, she made a little group of friends when she moved, quite different to her old friends, high achievers etc.
One of the girls in the group - let's call her A, seems to be idolised by DD. I've met her a couple of times and she seems really lovely. DD lives in envy of her though, A is tall and naturally very attractive, gets a lot of male attention. DD has been trying to copy her style etc. But that's not necessarily gone down well or worked for DD (always had pretty short her, decided to grow it out as A has very very long hair, DD dyed her hair blonde for a bit as A is naturally blonde, she has dyed it back now but still, also just copying how she styles her hair etc.) She's also tried to copy her style and while no one has said anything about it, DD has realised that maybe the style that suits a very slender tall girl might not work for her and that's ok, but DD has struggled to find one of her own (mainly wears leggings and hoodies).
Also in the group is another girl let's call her K, she is As best friend and while they try to include DD in activities I think DD can be quite difficult about it (doesn't want to try what they are doing, doesn't like new food, sports are boring and the list goes on) this will then be followed by DD being really sad when she sees their instagram or such posts.
I've told DD she needs to either suggest something she'd enjoy or just give it a try going out with them.
Now tonight DD has broke down in tears, as she says she feels "inferior" I asked her what she meant and if anyone has said anything and she told me she feels plain and talentless. She hates being friends with A and K as they are so much prettier, smarter and talented than her.
I hate hearing DD talk about herself so negatively and tried to reassure her that she is smart and beautiful and talented but also kind and funny and empathetic which are all valuable attributes too.
She said she just wishes she'd be noticed, and went on about how A has a boyfriend but still has boys pining after her. I tried to explain that lots of male attention isn't always a good thing but she didn't care for that narrative. Then on talent I said we could really put some time into finding a hobby she loves, be it a sport or maybe something creative from home. But this was ignored too as both A and K have a specific sport they do at a competitive level, DD tried it when she was younger but never liked and now thinks she won't be as worthy as them as she can't do it. It's not a sport that's all that common at least in my opinion so I'm not sure why she thinks that.
I'm feeling really lost in how to help DD, she idolises these girls (A more so) but they are lovely to her and really seem like nice girls.
AIBU to think that DD might just be making things hard with her attitude and feeling like helping might be an uphill battle?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!