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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you downsize in this situation?

23 replies

tsbilp · 23/01/2024 21:25

I have a house worth 490k on paper, 4 bed, spacious,detached, garden etc. My mortgage repayments are 1k a month. I feel so stressed about this as I am a lone parent, don’t even get maintenance and nursery 1300pcm. I have 250k equity. I could get a 2 bed terrace in a decent condition round here for 280. Family keep saying not to downsize as I’m young ish (37) and to hold on as long as I can as equity might rise and I can always move in future if absolutely need to. I feel so conflicted. Am I being too hasty?

OP posts:
IgnoranceNotOk · 23/01/2024 21:29

We need some more details here:
what’s your income?
how long is your fixed mortgage for?

If you can’t afford the mortgage and life is miserable and only likely to get worse then yes sell but you’ll be paying thousands to move too.

If it’s manageable but just less luxuries but should improve in the next couple of years when the rates go down and you’re not about to end a fix and it go up hundred then I would stay.

cheezelouize · 23/01/2024 21:31

Would you consider a lodger?

Overthebow · 23/01/2024 21:32

How many DC do you have?

tsbilp · 23/01/2024 21:37

One dc. Income around 3.5k net. This repayment is fixed for another 6 years

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 23/01/2024 21:41

If the repayment is fixed for the next six years I would not downsize. This is on the assumption you are not getting into debt at the moment affording the payments.

SleepingBeautySnores · 23/01/2024 21:43

How old is your DC? Would you consider having a lodger, as that could see you through this sticky spell? I too would try and hang on, but on the other hand if things are really tight, and you don't see yourself having more children, then a 2 bed would do the job and would presumably relieve a lot of the stress.

Eyesopenwideawake · 23/01/2024 21:45

Don't break the fixed rate. The 'right' lodger(s) can be a joy and will tide you over until the next election.

jeaux90 · 23/01/2024 21:46

I'm a lone parent, I understand the pressure however it is fixed so I would not downsize.

After having a detached house having joined neighbours will drive you nuts and it's always better to have more space as DC gets older.

MigGirl · 23/01/2024 21:48

Down sizing would also reduce your bills, council tax, gas, electric ect. Don't forget if you large house would increase in equity so wouldna smaller house. Any chance of a small 3 bed.

I'm maybe biased as not all for big houses, we lived in a 2 bed with two kids for years before moving. I don't always think a larger house is worth the stress and long as you are happy in it. Think with a much smaller mortgage you could pay if off by the time you are 50 and have much more options open to you.

Calmdown14 · 23/01/2024 21:58

I suspect you might regret the two bed in the longer term.

I would find the maintenance of such a large house a bit overwhelming but if it is a new house (??) then it might not be an improvement to go to an older terrace.

There's perhaps a middle option that might be what you really need but if you have a fixed rate and can't port it (or at least not at a lesser amount) then you wouldn't necessarily be any better off.

How much longer do you pay the full nursery fees for?

You have good equity and short term high costs so I don't think a mortgage company would be too quick to take action even if you were to lose your job.

If you took mortgage rates out of the equation I'd probably say move but as you seem to have a good fixed rate it complicates the options.

I would go through every bill if you haven't already and see what you can shave elsewhere to give you a bit more breathing space.

AreYouMeOrWhat · 23/01/2024 22:03

Nursery fees will be less than 6 years, presumably. How long? The cost of actually moving is huge; if you have savings you might spend on that, can they support any income gap til nursery fees end?

Do you have a budget? Can you afford everything you need?

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 23/01/2024 22:05

Are you getting into debt, too much month left at the end of the month? If not, I would try and tough it out - childcare fees are brutal, but they don't last forever. Are you getting the tax free childcare thing (not sure how that works, it came in after mine were out of nursery).

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 23/01/2024 22:07

How old is your DC and when will they start school negating need for nursery fees? If you can manage and are not getting into debt then I’d hold on for a while as you have a fixed rate. However, if you are really stressed by it, then downsize-maybe to a 3 bed?

Likemyjealouseel · 23/01/2024 22:07

With a four bedroom house, would you consider renting two rooms to another single mother with one child?

Stoufer · 23/01/2024 22:11

You ought to check your mortgage terms and conditions, as it is fixed for 6 years, there may be a hefty early repayment charge (£££s), so you will need to take this into account if you are considering selling up, and massively reducing (if porting) or paying off your mortgage.

Turmerictolly · 23/01/2024 22:13

Can I ask why you don't get maintenance?

Passingthethyme · 23/01/2024 22:15

Absolutely move. You're only paying off the interest anyway, and surely any property you live in will increase in value.

laclochette · 23/01/2024 22:20

NB all the below assumes you currently have a repayment mortgage, not interest only...

Hmmm. Re your equity "might" rise - barring a massive house price drop, which I think is unlikely, it will DEFINITELY rise as you pay down your mortgage and prices probably do continue to go up, even if not at rates seen in recent decades.

It feels on paper like the house is always going to be bigger than you need it to be. Unless you plan on having more DC, a four bed house is more than you'll ever need personally.

If you move to a cheaper property, it's worth working out what it would cost you including stamp duty and the sum you'd need to borrow, including what your future payments would be on today's high rates. You might not actually feel all that much better off month to month, so you need to run those figures. It's worth looking at what your total repayments including interest would be on that speculative new mortgage, not just monthly payments, to understand what the overall cost of that new mortgage is versus the value of the asset you'd be buying.

Another factor is that, once you have paid off this mortgage (how long is the total remaining term?), you'll have an asset worth around £500k, even without likely price rises, versus owning an asset worth £280k if you move, and with your nice current low fix you may have paid comparatively little for it because of lower interest rates than anything you could secure now. So being in a more expensive property now can be seen as a kind of "forced savings" vehicle that will leave you with more assets in the future.

Assuming your monthly outgoings would be meaningfully lower if you move (and as PP have said, you need to try to estimate running costs of a smaller property and include that in these calculations too), what you're really weighing up is more cash month to month now versus more assets to your name in future. There isn't a right answer to which of those is better - it depends on your circumstances, and personality, too.

The flip side of this is that you could move, own a less valuable asset, but use some of the money you save in monthly outgoings to put more money into other assets eg investments, so you're still building up assets in ways other than via your more expensive property. This could be useful if you want to eg save up for your DC's university fund or whatever, as they'll be more accessible than capital tied up in property.

Gummybear23 · 23/01/2024 22:26

Get a lodger.

Nursery fees will eventually reduce.

chocopop123 · 23/01/2024 22:31

It could work, but probably only if it stays just the two of you. I lived in a two bed terrace. It started shrinking as my son grew up and wanted friends around all the time! Family gatherings meant people sitting on the floor, literally. When I had another baby a few years later, it started bursting at the seams. Had to move then. But we were happy there and as long as it's got two doubles it could be lovely.

laclochette · 23/01/2024 22:34

@Stoufer oh good point re early repayment charge. A lot of factors to consider here! I think a spreadsheet is in order for OP...

Another factor of course is that there's a massive housing shortage in general so moving to a home that is the right size for you would free up a bigger home for a bigger household. But that isn't the case in all parts of the country and I can't personally imagine it would make the decision for me, as altruistic as I like to think I am!

cestlavielife · 23/01/2024 22:35

1k a month to live in a 4 bed is a bargain
Childcare costs are short term
Get a lodger.

StripeyDeckchair · 23/01/2024 22:35

So you have a house on a fixed rate mortgage for the next 6 years & current finances are;
Income - 3500
Mortgage - 1000
Nursery - 1300
Leaving Bills/ food/fun - 1200

I think that's doable without too much concern.
Nursery costs will go down with your 30 free hours and when DC starts school & (statistically) your Income will go up & your house value will go up.

Moving is expensive & highly stressful and in your shoes I'd stay put.

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