To ask if you're ADHD or autistic, how do you stop/reduce burnout?

[maybeneurodiv]

I've name changed for this, but have recently discovered that it is likely that I am neurodivergent. I'm not sure if it's autism or ADHD or if I'm even ready to admit it to myself properly or go to the GP but I'm struggling massively with a cycle of burning out.

I wondered if you have ADHD or autism how you help yourself with this?

I’m diagnosed ADHD and burnout is something I suffer from. It can be overwhelming, and sometimes results in complete shutdown. I find carving out little rest periods during the day really help. It can be a tiny 3 minutes, somewhere quiet (usually my car) while I just breathe slowly. It has to involve something that keeps my focus, but ideally avoiding anything social media/scrolling-based. I find these moments help restore me in readiness to tackle day-to-day stuff that comes much more easily for neurotypical folks. Look up Spoon Theory. It really helped me understand why I feel so paralysed sometimes.

I agree about the spoon theory but also do you have transition periods in between things so everything is a little calmer and manageable?

Plan everything to within an inch and accept that I only get a one thing done most days

Just roll with it most of the time. I either “fly or I die” according to family. I do try to smooth out the all or nothing burnout by attempting to nag myself into pacing myself. It is who I am and has been a trait which has come in extremely handy at times. Trying to fit into everyone’s else’s norms just make things worse.

Do a daily errand in the morning.

This gives routine, a bit of exercise, I leave the house, and chip away at the overwhelming mountain of stuff that needs to be done. .Morning exercise has most impact on health (by exercise I mean leaving the house!).

I am chronically exhausted and burned out but this does help manage it.

Interested in the replies to this thread. Not diagnosed, but I've suspected for a while that I may have ADHD (highlighted by suspicion that DS2 also has it, it's made me research!)

I'm in a job that I often feel quite overwhelmed in. It's only part time at 16 hours a week, but it's a full on "plate spinning" kind of job. Out and about, little time sat in an office kind of job. Some weeks it sends my brain into overdrive, and it doesn't matter what I do, I can never be organised enough to feel in control.

Recently I've been feeling like I'm slowly burning out. I've been in the role for nearly 2 years and wonder how much longer I can carry on..

I have seen the pomodoro technique being recommended in ADHD assessments as a way of breaking the working day up into intervals to help with time management.

sounds like a cliche but I go for a walk, outside, at lunchtime.

I have accepted that I can’t work- I’m not saying this is the same for everyone but it’s just too much for me. The stress, the people, the worrying about it all. It makes me seriously mentally unwell. I stopped working when I was 32 - thankfully (or unluckily) I also have a lot of physical health issues which mean I’m on the highest rates of PIP indefinitely so I can just about manage. Not rich by any means. Just struggling but still better than trying to work.

I need a lot of time alone. Ds (11) has severe and complex autism and attends specialist school and dh has bipolar but works. So I’m at home on my own a lot. I need that. I usually go out for a lot of walks (when my physical health allows it), I watch a lot of tv (things that interest me, I go down into rabbit holes of special interests- currently the Andes plane crash, watched the Netflix film and now working my way through various books etc). I can’t cope with friends. Too stressful. So I just amuse myself at home and I need that. If people demand too much of me it causes me to completely shut down.

I'm the same OP.. Just went to gp to start ball rolling for a diagnosis as I know it'll take years. I too burnout regularly..
My youngest was recently diagnosed at 16 and then all the pennies start to drop for myself and other family members..

Great thread, and will follow with interest.
I am useless as both an adult and human being. Am not diagnosed with ADHD/ASD but am looking into getting assessed. 3 year wait for ASD here, and 8 for ADHD.
Like a PP, I cope by not working, and also keeping my social circle very small. The less demands, the better I am able to manage the basics like self care etc.
When I did work, I kept getting fired or triggered the sickness path and let go.

Yeah, basically no working in employed situations and a very, very quiet social life, mostly online only. Just trying to meet people now and worked out it's probably easier in a sport situation not social events.

I was only diagnosed ( AuAdhd ) when I hit burn out, I'm still in it, on going for 3 years now and still struggle to manage my own expectations despite being kinder to myself.

I have significantly reduced the number of tasks each day, I take regular daily naps, I don't do any appointments past midday and I ask for help before frustration takes over.
I have a laundry person, gardener and bin man.
I am looking for a decent cleaner to body double with me on one day a week and once a month deep clean.

I want to hire a minimalist or declutter professional to help keep my mind clear as possible but I also need to be able to see what I have or at least labelled so I don't end up buying multiple replacements.

Everything needs to have a place, I have too much stuff, ( not hording stlye just disorganised ) but also need to keep things away from my disabled youngest as he doesn't understand the danger or things or will break anything he can lay his hands on.

Still looking for other ways to help myself and keep the home running effectively and efficiently.

The only thing that’s worked for me is reducing my contact with people. I’m a teacher by trade and find f2f work drains me. I’m now retraining to be a full time disability assessor, I need the balance that I get from as a short amount of contact hours with quiet time writing my reports.

Agree with pp, as a teacher, it's interactions outside of my day job which break me. I've deleted what's app, unsubscribed to as many emails as possible and don't read texts. I need to totally switch off from 'chatter' of any kind after work in order to reset for the following day. Other than that, lists lists lists and making sure my home is decluttered and tidy at all times as mess and stuff add to the noise in my mind.

I’m 40 now and getting better.
I have a whole day per week to myself doing nothing. My husband has our daughter on Saturdays and I have her on Sundays. I think DH is undiagnosed autistic and I have ADHD. This one guaranteed day each week keeps on top of burnout.
Also, I have very low dopamine weeks leading up to my period as the medication doesn’t seem as effective then so I just lay horizontal in bed all weekend and every evening watching movies and TV with my daughter.
You have to pack loads of convalescence in to your life even at the detriment of other aspects.

A kind of pacing I suppose.

I try not to plan anything when my period is due as I'm always super tired and more easily overwhelmed during that time.

Try and keep on top of house stuff as mess/dirt also overwhelms me easily.

Plan quiet days around busy ones where possible so I have down time to recover.

I don't go out much, if I do it's with my dh/family and we try and chose quieter times where possible.

I found I fared much better when I accepted its ok to have shit days, need down time and prioritise that rather than keep going and keep going which is what I used to do and then id end up having meltdowns once or twice a mth. Now I rarely have one. It also helps I now recognise if I'm grumpy/snappy that means I'm tired and overwhelmed and need to stop.