DH and I have had a bit of a disagreement tonight regarding how we wish to deal with an incident that happened at our daughters basketball training. It would be really helpful to know if I’m being completely irrational.
DD used to play football with a friend of hers who is also in one of the basketball teams. When they trained together, they had almost a sibling type relationship. Lots of laughing, joking together and a bit of rough play but it was always well meaning. No one was ever upset.
I did see this boy lash out a couple of times, in frustration and kick a team mate. Not a full blown kick, more just that he would hold onto his feelings about something that had happened to him and then it would bubble over and he’d give them a knock to their football boots. His mum would be straight onto the pitch to discipline him for this and he would be told to apologise. This makes him sound really naughty but he really is usually lovely, would just struggle on occasion to handle his feelings.
anyway, fast forward to today and my DD was at basketball. She left her court to go to the toilet and when she got back, she was upset and told DH that this boy had kicked her when she passed him on her way to the toilets. There was a red mark on her arm.
DH called me to explain what had happened and asked me to speak to his mum. I explained to DH that I really didn’t want to do that. I said that since none of us witnessed the kick, the child may have meant it in the playful way that he often does with our daughter, but might have got carried away. I did say that if he wanted to, he could go and speak to the mum himself, but unfortunately, the boys teams training had finished and the parents had left.
DH has come home and is horrified by my reluctance to contact his mum. I have to explained that if I had been there, I would have told DD to tell her coach and then he could have informed the other child’s coach but I feel like texting her now about something I wasn’t even there for and none of us witnessed seems like potential overkill.
When DD got home, I checked her arm and there was no visible mark at all. I explained that the child should certainly not have kicked her and I’ve told her the importance of telling her coach if anything like this happens again. DH was bullied in his childhood and says I am totally letting our DD down by not taking this further.
Maybe I’m being completely irrational and should message his mum to tell her? DD seems perfectly okay about it now but DH says that when he was a kid, he would tell his parents he was fine too.
YABU - text the mum.
YANBU - don’t text her. Move on but tell her if anything like this happens again.