What To Do About An Instrusive Live-in Landlord

[Mra2626]

Hi,

I’d like some advice about what to do in my situation. My work requires me to move around for short contracts so I asked for a room from an independent rental agency (run by one person) who deals with short term lets. When I asked about availability, I made it clear I was only looking for en-suite rooms.

She offered me a place that seemed nice and the rent wasn’t too astronomical so I went for it. When I arrived, I found out that the en-suite bathroom had two access points. One from the room I would be staying in, and the other from a room that the live-in landlord uses. I didn’t think anything of it as there was a lock on the door and he told me he also locks it from his side.

The next day (after my first night), I went to work and came back to find that someone had used my toilet and touched my towel. I don’t know what else was touched. This was very disturbing for me but I didn’t say anything and hoped it was a one off. I did however leave small “traps” so that I would know if it happened again. It’s been a few weeks now and there’s been one other time that I suspect someone has come in again because my trap was disturbed but there were no other obvious signs.

Other things have happened like they came in one weekend when I was away and cleaned the room. I knew the room was getting cleaned every fortnight but as a matter of courtesy, I expected to be informed when they would go into my room. They’ve been in the room several other times for small reasons. Not once have they told me they were going in my room.

I’ve now put in a security camera to monitor the room and en-suite and told them I have it. A couple of hours later, they told me they would be letting their guest use my en-suite for 10 minutes but would tell the guest not to touch anything.

I’m really uncomfortable with this but don’t want any confrontations. I installed the camera so that they would know I would see everything which would discourage them from using my en-suite. I specifically asked for a room with an en-suite as I have a lot of trouble with people touching my things. This applies to even my own family, bar my significant other. I could’ve gotten a non en-suite room for less rent but paid extra so that I wouldn’t have this problem.

What do I do? I also have this fear that if I say something, they will sabotage my things i.e. stick things in the toilet, put dirty things on my sheets and towels etc.

Thanks very much for your help.

how can you sleep at night knowing he can access your bedroom whilst you sleep

he just has to creep through the en-suite and bingo… your bedroom

i cannot believe you haven’t moved already

I'd be looking for a different place.

? I also have this fear that if I say something, they will sabotage my things i.e. stick things in the toilet, put dirty things on my sheets and towels etc.

FGS OP

Move

Ffs just move out and find another room to rent.

Sounds like a right creep!

This is a weird situation. Imo, if you paid for exclusive use of an en-suite, they should not be going in there at all, at any point. Perhaps a one off – with your permission in advance – ok. But it seems they are routinely going in there and see it as an extension of their own home. They’re behaving as though they’re letting you have it to yourself as a kindness rather than part of the contractual agreement!!

Just to double-check OP, do you have a tenancy or an occupier agreement?

Ultimately, you can't do anything. You're a lodger. You don't have the right to refuse access to your ll. It would be different if you're a tenant, but you're not.

You need to look for an alternative place.

Also – can you not just lock it from your side? And are you able to lock your bedroom?

I had a landlord once who I caught letting herself into my flat – I was in bed and she let herself in to get water to mop the hallway!!! Wouldn’t have known about it had I not been there. Awful landlord behaviour but there was nothing ‘sinister’ about it, she was just prioritising her convenience over the terms of our contract!! 🫣

Just to say that he might not be a ‘creep’ so much as not respecting that it’s not fair or part of your agreement to use that room at his convenience. (Not sticking up for him btw, just it could be a situation it’s possible to resolve or at least manage while you look for somewhere else)

Which way does the bathroom door open? Are you able to put something against it for now when you go to bed?

Second this. If you’re a lodger, the landlord legally has right of access to all the rooms in the house. You don’t have the same rights as a tenant.

Agree sounds like the OP might consider moving for her peace of mind, although it sounds like she’s being a bit paranoid here tbf

I find this quite sinister. Can you move to somewhere else OP?

Fwiw it doesn't appear to me to be anything sinister - it's a live in landlord treating the property as their own home. Which it is. It's polite for them to give you the privacy by not going in your room when you're not there, but they're not breaching any rules to do so. Similar to how someone can do when it's a bed and breakfast.

I can understand if it doesn't suit you but if you want more privacy you probably need to look at staying in hotels when travelling for work.

Thanks for all the feedback!

I did think about the fact that they can access my room through the ensuite while I’m asleep but neither he or his wife creeped me out so I’m not worried about that.

I don’t have a formal contract but the whole thing is in a long email chain with details of what I was looking for, the rent amount and their T&Cs. I understand I’m a lodger and therefore have very few rights but I did ask for and am paying for an ensuite room and this “en-suite” is effectively a shared bathroom so I wanted to find out your thoughts from that point of view.

Moving would, of course, solve all my problems but I haven’t been able to find anything comparable in terms of location, price and amenities. I’m also working 15 hour days now so don’t have much time to house hunt or anything else for that matter.

I agree I’m probably overreacting about them sabotaging my things if I say something to them. But I’ve seen people do some very horrible things when they want to get even so I’d rather err on the side of caution.

I think it’s rude that they don’t tell me when they want to go into my room but yes, it’s their house and they have the right to enter my room whenever they want. That’s not the main issue here. I think it’s wrong that they’re using a space I’ve paid a premium to use exclusively.

Yes, if I was getting paid well, I would definitely stay in a hotel. When I’m only on a 2-week job, that’s what I do. Can’t afford that on a 3-month job though. This isn’t my first time being a lodger BTW. I did the same thing in Manchester and had no issues at all. The couple I was staying with respected my space and I respected theirs.

P/S: If you think I have psychological issues, yes I know. I have systems in place to accommodate those issues. :)

Also, there’s no lock on my side of the door. There’s a lock on both doors on the ensuite side but not on my side. There’s another lock on the landlord’s side of the other door.

The door that connects to the landlord’s room opens outward into the landlord’s room so I can’t stop it from being opened. The lock on the ensuite side of that same door can still be unlocked by the landlord using a coin.

Um... As opposed to creeping through the hallway and bingo... their bedroom?

So there's a Jack and Jill bathroom? Why not ask the LL if they can put a lock on the door(s) so you don't have to worry about the LL opening the bathroom door from his side when you're in the bathroom?

I wouldn’t be happy with that tbf. Presumably if it was locked he (and his wife) wouldn’t be going and opening it with a coin, surely?

I’d leave the en-suite lock on for now. Legally they’re allowed to go in but it doesn’t sound like it’s in the spirit of your agreement.

And you told them there’s a camera in the loo and they’re still using it?

I think if it was me I’d try and have a polite conversation about the agreement and ask that the en-suite is not shared while you’re there. If they’re normal, reasonable people, I’d expect they’ll just say sure no problem. I assume there are other toilets and bathrooms elsewhere in the house?