Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stating GP preference. Was this unreasonable?

8 replies

cranberryhaddock · 23/01/2024 15:05

I think this was reasonable myself, but starting to second-guess myself now... (and I want to preface this by saying I am very much aware of the pressures on the NHS and the individuals within it right now.)

I'm carer for elderly DM. She's currently struggling with various issues including back pain severe enough that she can't get to the surgery and is having a home visit Thursday. She was due to have a surgery appt that day, but this has had to be changed as she can barely walk.

That original appt was booked with one of the GPs who I (and, from what I can gather, other people too) find very difficult to talk to. He's fine when he's in a good mood but there's never any guarantee of that, and he gets snappy when asked questions. (I don't mean questioning his competence, I wouldn't do that. I mean asking questions I feel I need to get a proper picture as my mum's carer.) Other people have said the same about this specific GP.

I'm always mindful of time pressures on the NHS, I only ever ask questions that feel crucial to me in knowing how to manage my mum's care, and I'm always polite. But this GP is very impatient, has a tendency to ask a question then interrupt people when they're trying to answer, and can be extremely brusque. He was very short and snappy with me once when DH had to take me in for an urgent appointment re my mental health just after my dad died.

I know that sounds like I have a personal grudge and I will admit I don't like the man, but this isn't about that. I am very concerned about my mum atm for various reasons, and the GP I spoke to just now to set up the home visit gave us the choice of seeing her or the other GP. I said if it was all the same to her I'd rather see her. She seemed to want a reason as to why I was saying this, so I just said (truthfully) that I hadn't always found other GP the easiest to communicate with but that I wasn't questioning his competence. That's true, but my main reason is that GP 2 seems much easier to talk to and I feel more confident she will listen and address my concerns re my mum.

Rest of call went OK, appt booked with GP 2. She didn't seem put out after I said what I did about her colleague, but I'm now wondering how it might have come across, I'm a polite person by nature, and I'm not trying to drop GP 1 in the shit as much as I dislike him. If I'd thought quickly enough I'd have said something like I'd rather see her to maintain continuity, but at the time I felt put on the spot. Was I rude? (And if there happen to be any GPs reading, would you have had a problem with what I said?)

OP posts:
DuckDuckGoose23 · 23/01/2024 15:22

I’m a nurse rather than a GP but patients often request one healthcare professional over another (for all sorts of reasons). Obviously it’s not always possible due to staffing/availability but I wouldn’t be offended or surprised by the request- especially if I’d asked if the patient had a preference.
I’d be very surprised if no-one else had ever mentioned this about the doctor before.

Stubbedtoes · 23/01/2024 15:27

I think you're overthinking this.

Our online GP booking system has a space where you can request someone specific so that's clearly a normal and reasonable request.

I also think you handled her question of why very diplomatically. And actually you've done other patients and the surgery a service by being diplomatically honest. If they get the same feedback from others perhaps they can tackle his unfortunate manner.

LoveSandbanks · 23/01/2024 15:27

We had a gp at our surgery and when I was asked if I had a preference I said “as long as it’s not doctor scary”. Everyone knew immediately who I meant, laughed and scheduled it with no someone else. This won’t be the first time comments have been made. It’s fine.

Superscientist · 23/01/2024 15:28

My Gp online form asks if there is any staff members we want or don't want to see so I wouldn't over think it

At an old surgery I always asked to see a female Dr as I had a bad experience with a male GP being very unsympathetic about my depression but I couldn't remember his name so just stuck to women for awhile and then I found one in particular to be very supportive so I just saw her for nonemergency appointments.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 23/01/2024 15:29

There is a doctor at my surgery who is notorious for being condescending and rude to female patients. I am quite happy to explain why I would prefer to see someone else if I am offered an appointment with him.

ThatBoyFromEastTennessee · 23/01/2024 15:39

The staff and doctors will know exactly what he is like so it won’t come as a surprise and I very much doubt you’re the first to ask to see someone else.

I think more patients should report and give feedback like this. Doctors should be approachable and patient, not snappy. Most patients would rather be anywhere else but needing to see them, they often feel vulnerable and nervous so an impatient, snappy doctor is the last thing they need. Too many get away with being arseholes.

Don’t feel bad, if he doesn’t want that feedback, he should behave better and like a decent human being.

Datafan55 · 23/01/2024 15:40

It sounds fine the way you handled it. GP asked if you had a preference, and you stated politely that you did, and she had an appt, so all good.

(And they might well have had similar feedback about the other one before!)

cranberryhaddock · 23/01/2024 17:00

Relieved by these responses! I think I can be too polite for my own good sometimes, so I was a little out of my comfort zone.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page