Moving 2 hours away?

[Newbeginningg]

Okay so I left an abusive relationship 2 years ago and have been staying at my nans since.

I have three kids, 7,6 and 2.5 yo. We all share one room here and I cannot afford to live in this area (London) as the prices are sky high. I have an option of possibly moving 1.45hr - 2hrs away and starting over. It’s a nice area where my kids will have better schooling, more affordable and a better quality of life.

however I’ve mention this to my family and they’ve hit the roof saying I’m taking the kids away from them and being selfish and silly to think I could cope being all that way on my own. I just don’t know what to do as I feel I’m trapped here and can’t afford to go elsewhere, I understand maybe they’d miss the kids but I said we’d pop over ever Sunday for a nice dinner etc, again that’s not good enough.

any advice? Am I being unreasonable wanting to move away with the kids?

Surely your family would want you to be able to better you and your children's lives?
I'd move, they'll come round eventually, put you and your babies first

Yeah you should move for a fresh start and a better life for the kids

Sometimes people who are bullied or controlled in their romantic relationships have experienced bullying or coercive behaviour in other family relationships. It is what allows the controlling behaviour to take root.

Please do what’s best for you and your kids and don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by other family members. Best of luck

IMO your family are being selfish - putting their WANT to see your children over your NEED for more space and a fresh start. Do what’s right for you, you only get one life.

If your family object so much they can always move closer to you and also visit,.

I did actually suggest they moved closer if they didn’t like the distance but they refused.

thanks your everyone’s replies!

Sorry 7, 6, 2.5 year old in one room…that must be tough and London is just so expensive, you have to do what is in the best interest of your children and yourself 💙

Just be very clear - it's not your preferred choice, it's your only option to give your children adequate housing. If they disagree, tell them that you'll be happy to stay if they can find you an affordable two bed in London, and in the meantime you'll continue making plans.

I think when people have been settled for a while, especially if they've either got mortgages (that tend to go down over time) or steady rents (eg HA) they often unaware of how limited the choices are for someone starting afresh.

You’re definitely not being unreasonable.

I’m so sorry you’ve had such a horrible time and hope that the new house/ area gives you and your kids a fresh start!

Do you think though that because of what you’ve all been through your family are worried about you being isolated? Maybe they’re just expressing how they feel badly ❤️

Surely all you need to do is explain that you can’t afford to stay where they are. If they want you to stay, they financially support you? Simple.