To quit without another job to go to?

[BakedBeansAndChips]

I am the breadwinner in our house. My DP works part time. I earn reasonably well. My salary covers the mortgage, bills etc. and DP's salary covers the "nice things". We enjoy a nice standard of living.

I hate my job. It's stressful and my boss is a bully. Last week I worked insane hours last week to get everything done which needed to be done, and I just got shouted for not displaying information in a format he likes (landscape vs portrait...!). Work is making me sick. There's no one to complain to - it's a small company and my boss is the owner.

I feel trapped. I need a job, but I need it to be flexible so I can manage my family. I want to leave, but I have nothing else to go to.

If I leave, we'll be about £1000 a month short on bills and would have no money for "nice" things. I am of course prepared to economise, but I can't economise my way out of my mortgage or gas bills. Should I just say "fuck it" and go, hoping I find something else quickly? Should I stay? We have about 3 months' salary in the savings. This feels so scary. Help.

Can you get signed off sick for a bit of rest from it? Also look for another job?
Sounds awful, mental health is so important

IMO, no job is worth staying in if it makes you sick. If you have savings, great, but three months might not be enough. Does your employer offer enhanced sick pay? If so, going off sick due to burnout, MH issues, might be a good start. It will give you some headspace and free time to start applying for new jobs. Even SSP might be enough with your savings to keep you afloat until something else comes along.

Having said that, if you're really done with it, just go. You will work it out but you have to balance that with how you might feel in the interim - I.e the anxiety and worry over being unemployed for a while.

That sounds horrific, my sympathies! Can you register with a temp agency or agencies? They're a great way of getting an income, especially because you can start at short notice. Can your husband work more hours? Your situation sounds unsustainable. In some ways, it's harder to find a new job in your situation because so much headspace is taken up by the awful job. If you had resigned a weight would lift and you could focus more clearly on finding something better. Can you tough it out for another month or two to build up your escape fund? 3 months' salary is presumably more than 3 months' expenses - would you be OK for 4-6 months?

This is a great website, and it has a good video on why quitting crappy jobs is the best option. https://www.internationalquityourcrappyjobday.com/.

I've quit crappy jobs, it's definitely the right thing to do.

I have quit crap jobs with nowhere to go so I would say yes. Someone from the 1950s usually turns up on threads like these to drone on about references (as if it was still the 1950s) - don’t listen to any such pearl-clutching.

My boss is a horrible controlling gaslighting bully, nobody likes him. He was off last week and it was heaven. People were coming in to the office and saying that they'd be celebrating when they heard he was off for the week

I've been here 2.5 years and can't stand him. I feel your pain. Could you leave and do agency work whilst looking for something more permanent?

I'm not sure how much longer I can go on here. I'm looking at job sites every day, if we didn't have DD I'd just take anything

My mother used to say, 'NEVER give up your job without having another to go to'. She was a child of the 20s so knew only too well how horrendous it is to have no money and be liable to lose your home, be hungry and depressed.

Many of us have done jobs we really didn't like /want to do.

Look for a job and only leave when you got another lined up.
However awful you feel now, you'll feel a whole lot worse with no money coming in.

Your job might be stressful now, but losing your home would be even more stressful.

I believe we are heading into a recession. Best thing is to secure another role before jumping ship. If you jump ship and end up with a gap in your CV, then even if you did get an interview, they’ll ask about the gap which might not bode well for you.

Play the long game. Be positive, extra helpful, anything to secure a positive reference. Well, this is what I’d do anyway. At least then you can have hope of a brighter future which may help a little during this stressful time.

Basically came here to say this too. I wouldn't say it's a case of you being unreasonable, but more of coming to a tipping point. I think as a PP said here, perhaps look into some time off sick if that might relieve some of the stress. You could use this time to collect yourself, look for other work and destress. Whatever you choose to do, I hope it all works out for you! Hating your job is an awful thing since it does take up so much of your time.

Try to get another job first or your partner to up his hours. No money is worse than a bad job.

Find a new job first. Only you know how easy it is to get a new job in your industry. Once you start applying for jobs you'll actually find that a lot of unpleasant things at work just wash over you, knowing that soon you'll be moving on.

How sought after are your skills and experience? Is it the sort of job where you know you’ll be snapped up once people know you’re available? Or are you highly specialised and would have to wait for the right role?

I completely sympathise, I have what I previously considered to be my perfect job, but recent management changes have made it really really hard to stay.

Does your dp work part time because there are children to consider? Or due to limited capability for work? If not, then I would say he should secure full time hours so you can move to a new job, any job if that is what you need to do.

Book some time off, annual leave of if you have to go on sick leave, use the time to rest, apply for jobs and register with a few temp agency.

No job is worth destroying your mental and physical health and as your boss is a bully I really would not feel bad about taking some sick leave to sort yourself out and line up a new job...

It's not ideal but you run the risk of the job making you ill so I'd definitely risk leaving without another job to go to.
Infact I've done exactly this and left a job 2 weeks ago and start my new job in 2 weeks leaving me effectively a month short of money but have my mental health back but doing some decluttering and tidying at home