Religious girlfriend has blocked me and cut contact between me and my friend

[29ducksinarow]

A firm friend of mine that I've known for over 15 years. I'll call him John.

He sent me a message last week asking if I had time for a chat as he needed some advice. We live in completely different parts of the UK now but still catch up over the phone / Facebook.

His girlfriend of 6 months had split up with him and she is pregnant with his baby. The girlfriend is deep into Christianity but John isn't religious and it was causing problems as despite making an effort to learn about god etc, he thinks it's all too much. Everything is "godly this" and "godly that" with her and she doesn't value anything he has to say because he isn't "godly"

He was also upset that she was refusing to cut contact with a man she claimed had sexually assaulted her. That man goes to the same groups she goes to and they also text and meet up outside of said groups. She was expecting John to accompany her to these groups and wanted him to make an effort to get along with the man she said had sexually assaulted her. He mentioned a couple of other weird friends of hers connected to the religion.

He said the whole thing was really taking it's toll on his mental health.

I didn't quite know what to say about it all as it sounded so bizarre but I was supportive, listened and offered what limited advice I could. I suggested he do some reading about cults to see whether any of it sounded familiar, and suggested he tried to find a way of staying on good terms with her so he is kept in the loop RE the pregnancy.

Fast forward to this evening I receive a message from his Facebook account, clearly from the girlfriend, saying: "I have decided to get back with (her name) as I still have a lot of feelings for her"

I was then blocked.

I don't know whether to be worried about him or offended that he has let this virtual stranger block me. OK, so not a total stranger but he has known her 6 months and me 15+ years. We went to school together, uni, and he very much felt like family.

What would you make of this? It's fucking bizarre.

NC so I'm not linked to it personally.

The girlfriend is deep into Christianity but John isn't religious

This isn’t adding up, did she get deep into Christianity before or after she had unprotected sex outside of marriage with a man who didn’t share her faith?

Similarly didn’t he realise it was “all too much for him” before he got her pregnant?

They both sound really odd but yet not well suited.

Anyway, how can you be so sure she wrote the Facebook message? Even if we assume she’s pulling the strings, your friend must’ve given his permission for her to block you on his account

And if that’s the case it sounds as if he’s told her you’ve spoken negatively of her. So not sure if you can completely pin everything on her.

This is weird AF.

Call or message him to clarify that it was his choice to block you.

But if it was, there is nothing you can do except be there when it all goes tits up.

She can't be that deep into Christianity if she's pregnant and not married! Smacks of the usual religious hypocrisy. Can you text your friend, or whatsapp?

Yup, I pointed out the hypocrisy about that too.

She has been religious for years apparently, but must pick and choose which bits apply.

He also knew about her religion being important to her when they met so he didn't go in completely blind.

I think I want to believe she blocked me rather than him as it's quite hurtful otherwise, but you're right and at the very least he gave her permission to do it.

Two hours I spent listening to all of that last week which made me late for pre arranged plans. I wish I hadn't have bothered 😑

I have sent a message through Instagram where I'm not yet blocked, just saying I'm confused as to why I've just been blocked and asked if I'd said something to offend him. Then it clicked that it was probably done by the girlfriend or at the very least she insisted he did it.

I'll probably be blocked on there once he/they read it.

It's all so bloody weird.

I didn't even know he had a girlfriend until last week let alone expecting a baby, he kept that pretty quiet as none of our mutual friends knew either and he asked that I didn't say anything. He moved across the UK last year so we don't get to see him often now and its all news to me.

I think I want to believe she blocked me rather than him as it's quite hurtful otherwise, but you're right and at the very least he gave her permission to do it

yep, it can be tough, we’ve all been there - given up endless hours listening to a friend go on about a man/woman and giving them advice only for them to later disregard it and make out you were part of the problem.

Perhaps he’ll come round, and unblock you later if things go pearshaped again. Or maybe he won’t, but either way in the future maybe take a bit of a step back if he or anyone else try to drag you into something like this again.

If you’re not convinced it’s not him doing the blocking can you not just give him a call?

Surely if it wasn’t him who blocked you he would notice soon enough anyway, as you’d vanish from his page plus appear on his block list.

this girlfriend sounds like either she has mental health issues and/or is being brainwashed by the cult. your friend is vulnerable to being dragged into this whole thing.

do you know any other friends or family he may have spoken to? or someone like that who has more access to him and you can share your concerns with?

it's especially worrying given there is a child now coming into this situation.

by all means the girlfriend could be going through a process of faith renewal but there are some major red flags there.