Parent borrowing money from children

[fawnflamingo]

I came across some going’s on in the week and wondered how people feel about parents borrowing Christmas money off their children under the age of 16 when parents are working full time?

I personally feel like as the adult you have responsibility to manage your own finances and teach your kids good money management along the way.

YABU - You think it’s okay as long as it’s paid back.
YANBU - It should never even be a consideration

I think it depends on the situation.

Buying yourself a new frock instead of waiting until payday - not ok.

Not being able to pay the electric bill/top up the meter to keep the lights on, or unable to buy food for the family because of CoL and sudden drop in hours e.g. sickness absence - fine (as long as you pay it back and do something about your short term money insecurity if you can).

I don't give my god son money in cards as his Mum is terrible with money & can't be trusted.

I've been upfront with her on the reason why.

I put birthday and Christmas money in a savings account in my name that will be transferred to him at 18.

I think you should be less judgmental and more educated about the poverty some people live in before making comments about managing finances

Sort out your own finances.

My MIL is doing fine (a very good pension) but happily scrounges when she can because she believes as we are wealthier than she is (and my family is wealthier still) that we should share (or that in laws in laws should ‘if they can afford it’. This is not an attitude that has ever gone anywhere with me but it doesn’t stop her trying. Most infuriating.

@fawnflamingo it depends whether you mean borrowing money or borrowing cash. My teen boys are often given cash at Xmas/birthdays, but don't spend it because they prefer to use their contactless cards. If I need some cash, it's easier to 'borrow' it from them than go to the cash point, but I always do an immediate bank transfer to pay them back. It's a win-win, because then it is in their account and they can spend it via contactless.

@Sunsh1nePlease I think it's fairly obvious, given everything else in the post, that the OP means borrowing money.

and yeah, it depends on the situation doesn't it? If the electric meter needs feeding and the food bank won't give you anything till Tuesday, it would be silly to leave a wodge of cash sitting in the toddler's christening-gift piggy bank just so that you don't teach them habits of immediate gratification. If you fancy a takeaway rather than what's in the freezer but it's been a long time since pre-Christmas payday - well, you always knew it was going to be a long month, that's why you stocked up the freezer ;-)

I think it's OK personally.

My parents used to borrow money off us if need be (and didn't always pay it back) but as an adult I understand that sometimes things were tight for them. No hard feelings about it.

If you know you can pay it back before the child will need it then i don't really think it's a big issue imo. But every family is different.

I think the majority of parents do their best to avoid doing it, but sometimes unexpected expenses come up or things are tight and if borrowing (and paying back) is the only solution then needs must. Especially if it means going hungry/not going to school because the car needs to be repaired etc.

I came across some going’s on in the week

What does this mean?

YABU. As a parent your primary responsibility is to keep your kids in secure, comfortable circumstances with their immediate needs taken care of. It's a rare and privileged parent who has never had to cut some sort of corner/rob Peter to pay Paul at some point. As long as it's paid back - no harm done.

How do I feel about it? I don't feel anything about it, it's none of my business how other families manage their finances.

We had to get a new roof this month. I had to rob the uni savings to pay for it. Should be able to replace it next month 🤞🏼 sometimes shit happens and needs must.

I think it's fine personally. My mum was a single parent nurse worked every bank shift she could and sometimes it just wasn't enough. She borrowed our Christmas money one year and felt terrible she gave us back plus more. Sometimes needs must for essentials.

In this scenario it’s cash with a promise to pay back cash once paid. Knowing the spending habits of the family, (typically over indulges in luxury having a knock on effect when it comes to necessity), I’m concern the children won’t get their money back.

I remember my Dad having to do this in the late 80s / early 90s when things were bad once or twice. We were otherwise wealthy (Mum didn't have to work and did Disneyland and the like several times when I was a kid).

They paid me interest and it taught me a lot about money actually.

I'd rather starve than borrow or take my children's money

You would have to possess an incredible amount of stupidity to choose starvation.

There are options like food banks.. always a way

Right. Yet you said you would rather starve, not that you would rather 'use a food bank' - make up your mind.

If you read my post I said I'd rather starve than take money from my children.

I know. That was my whole point.

Totally dependent on the situation.
Our boiler broke during the cold snap towards the end of last year. We couldn’t afford the bill that came with it to get it fixed even after clearing our savings and borrowing from parents so we had two choices. Either borrow the money from our baby’s savings account or let him sleep in a cold room each night. Very easy decision in the end and it’ll be paid back before he even knows what money is!

In this scenario it’s cash with a promise to pay back cash once paid. Knowing the spending habits of the family, (typically over indulges in luxury having a knock on effect when it comes to necessity), I’m concern the children won’t get their money back.

What’s your interest in the situation? Did the money come from you?