To dread this event?

[Totheright]

I’m a new manager & it is my responsibility to authorise hotels for my team, who are travelling to an event. There’s 20 people going, including me.

Within the group, there’s a couple of extremely vocal people who I find quite difficult. They seemingly don’t like me or see me as a pushover. If I’m being honest, I feel like they try to run rings around me and it’s exhausting! In group setting like team meetings and email chains, they have made requests for expensive hotel chains, gym access, lots of amenities and are wanting to go out in the evening etc wanting an expensive meal expensed on the company. I know this guidance very well, having worked in the finance department, and none of this is within our policy for expenses.

All hotel bookings are scrutinised for value, and I won’t authorise anything unnecessary. I feel that’s then just made me more unpopular as I say no to these requests in front of everyone and the vocal ones have taken offence.

Aibu to just not really want to socialise with them or even stay at the same hotel as them? Just feel like I’ll be ganged up on almost, and I’d rather the evening to myself to mentally prepare for spending the day at the event with them. Any management advice is appreciated too.

Just blame the policy. Say you're sure everyone would love a luxury hotel etc but the policy says X so you can't authorise. Not 'won't' - 'can't'.

Pre-empt all of this by re-sending round to everyone the company policy on hotels/meals etc and say something like

"Just a quick reminder of our policy, as you're all aware I'm not authorised to make changes to this policy"

But yes. Stay somewhere different they're twats, you don't have to socialise with them - they're not your mates

Your salary likely reflects the fact that you will have to deal with situations like this and people generally don’t like to feel extras have been withdrawn, that will make you unpopular. Don’t stay in a different hotel, that is asking for scrutiny and trouble. Try to separate their disgruntled attitude from you personally. It’s the decisions they don’t like. It’s not personal.

Just say what you’ve said here. You know the company policy very well and none of these things will be paid for by the company.
You could suggest that one of the group takes responsibility for arranging a restaurant and/or a group activity, but make it very clear that it will have to be paid for by individuals.
Maybe suggest one of the mouthy ones take that responsibility.

thanks everyone. I can tolerate people not liking me or wanting to be friends with me, but it’s the lack of respect. I constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells by doing my job.

They are testing your boundaries. Stay clear, firm and consistent. They will eventually respect you and find something or someone else to obsess over.

You know the policy, so as manager it's up to you to take the lead.

I will be staying in <modest hotel within budget > if anyone would like to meet in the evening, then please book the same hotel.

Link to company policy on hotels.

Do your company pay for the hotel, or a flat "subsistence" rate to cover the hotel? If the latter, when you state the policy to them, you can remind them they have the option to stay in a better hotel/have a better meal and pay the difference themselves.

Don't stay in a different hotel, no-one will believe you haven't got a luxury room for yourself. You'll have to socialise over the meal, but you don't have to linger at the bar afterwards.

I managed a team who sound very similar to this. It was a really difficult time as every day felt like a battle.

Keep pointing them towards the policy. You're not the one who is dictating where is permissable to stay, it's the company.

Don't book somewhere else for yourself as they will never believe you haven't splashed for a luxury option just for you. All stay together, have a meal and then make your excuses to dip out of the socialising.

Refer them to the policy, advise that you can only authorise expenses in line with the policy, and advise that any queries need to be taken up with HR / Finance / whichever team is responsible for developing and applying the policy. It’s your role to manage the team, but it’s not your role to get into discussions about organisation policies.

You could also add that if you booked a hotel/ restaurant/flight knowing that it was not compliant with the policy, you could face disciplinary issues.

Sorry OP but unless they are explicitly being rude and dismissive to you, I'm wondering if you are being a bit over sensitive?

It's totally standard for employees to have a gripe about hotels/ expense policies, and half jokingly poke at the manager and/or idea of going mad at the company's expense. It's a pretty typical script.

I'd say, similarly, it's a pretty basic skill for a manager to take these things in your stride, not take it personally, to be clear about the policy, and possibly deflect with a bit of humour and empathy.

I would strongly advise against getting a separate hotel. Partly it will look like you think you are above them/ don't like them. It may well turn a jest about hotels into a debate and false accusation that you are going somewhere more expensive. Partly, the company is paying for this trip not just for the actual sessions, but probably for the relationship-building and enhancement in team spirit that comes from the socialising. Your job as manager is not to run away, but to engage your team to improve relationships and get good performance (and compliance) out of them.

My response would be different if they have been personally attacking, or really mean and disrespectful in some way. But based on what you said, it sounds like very typical rough and tumble. And it's maybe continued or even escalated, because you haven't dealt with it effectively yet?

As one poster suggested- I'd simply restate the policy.... say you, along with everybody else, would like your penthouse with a jacuzzi, (smile) but until they can persuade the CEO, we'll all have to enjoy the Premier Inn instead - same for you as it is for them. Then ignore any further comments that aren't directly to you... and just say 'see here' with a link to your first response for any direct push.

Good luck!

TBH the hotel booked is actually quite nice - don’t see why they’re grumbling! It’s not even the cheapest option.

let’s talk about my plan for the dinner - I am the only manager there and the rest of them are level colleagues. I know they want to get alcohol, personally I don’t think it’s a good look for a manager to be there whilst they’re consuming alcohol? I’m happy to show my face for 30 mins or so, but how do I navigate this?

@financialcareerstuff i haven’t gone into it in depth here but it’s definitely rude and disrespectful behaviour vs me being over sensitive.

OP I mean this in the nicest way, you need to start to get a bit harder.

I cant stress how much this shouldn't even be a discussion - don't even give it air.

As others have said, restate the policy (do NOT try and "justify" it, the policy is the policy) - if they want to bitch and moan about it then you take them aside and say how unprofessional they are acting.

Work trips are a privilege, not a right.

As for the alcohol, that's a personal choice- I don't mind my team having a few drinks on a work trip at all with me about, but they're a great team...

If they do get alcohol, make them all emphatically aware of any expense policy regarding alcohol beforehand (My company's is always own expense if you want it)

Do not approve any that come through

This is management 101, you need to toughen up and brush this off because there are much tougher conversations in your future you'll need to have as a mgr

What does the company policy say about meals on overnight trips?

Many say a drink with dinner and alcohol the rest of the evening they buy themselves

There’s a daily budget which includes all meals/drinks with those meals. It’s not a particularly generous budget but it’s the policy. Alcohol isn’t expensed at all.

also I’m a definitely too nice! It’s hard to set a good standard when they’re extremely stand offish

Are you UK based ?

It seems very Draconian that the company won't even pay for a glass of wine with dinner. My company is fairly tight - dinner expense amount is less than it was 20 years ago - but you are allowed one glass of wine or drink with dinner.

It feels like the problem is you want these people to like you, but you seem to dislike most of them. Surely all 20 can't be so grabby and demanding, so just restate the rules and remind yourself you're in charge.

The dinner is tricky I must admit. if we are away as a team my boss seems to have some leeway to get a few drinks through on company expenses or sometimes I suspect she pays for it herself. 20 is far too many for you to buy wine for the table or a drink beforehand.

You do need to show up for dinner and appear sociable, it's kind of what you would expect from a line manager.

You can be nice and still be assertive, nice managers are everywhere. You just need to make your peace with not being liked by everyone all the time.

@rookiemere it’s public sector, it would cause a media storm for eg nhs bosses to fund alcohol on the tax payers

So I was friends with a few PAs / EAs who used to have to deal with dickheads like this (albeit on an individual or small group basis)
We were in Adland… so it’d be £500 a night hotels trying to get her to expense a lunch meal in Heathrow airport that was £500 for 3 people… etc etc.

The stock response she gave was “Hotel budget is capped at £150 (or whatever). the room rate of this hotel you suggested is £400 per night
if you have a voucher or discount code to bring it in line with company policy I can get that booked. If not here are two on budget options
A
B

let me know”

separately you should inform your boss they are doing this it’s totally childish and very unprofessional

My company is high profile and gets a lot of bad press (tech)… we have an awful expense policy £40/$50 usd cap globally for dinner including service
So you can maybe have A glass of wine if you are especially frugal in choice of restaurant.

This

I travel regularly for work and so used to the policy but it is still regularly communicated for new joiners. It is made very clear that hotels have to be booked through the corporate portal and the budget per night is xxx. All meals have a budget too and it’s xxx for lunch, xxx for dinner with only 2 alcoholic drinks allowed

Of course you can do more than that if you want but our expense system will automatically reject any amount over and above the policy

In this instance you pay with your own card and claim back but I have worked in other companies where I have had a corporate card. Same principle around not exceeding the policy but instead of the system rejecting it it would be my manager and I would be responsible for the excess bill on the card