Ill toddlers...

[ReadytoFly]

I know this has been done to death but seriously - I can't take my DC2.7 to a toddler group without one of us coming away with a bloody bug. December was relentless. DC doesn't go to nursery as I'm currently a SAHM. It drives me bonkers. I understand a little cold / sniffle can't keep everyone at home but kids who have thick rivers of snot or are literally coughing everywhere and just look unwell - it's grim and unfair. I do understand that nurseries are germ pits and that it's impossible to avoid getting ill there but if it's anything more than an annoying cold, just stay away. Nobody wants nasty viruses, D&V - it's just plain selfish. Yes, staying home with a toddler isn't ideal but it's perfectly possible. I wouldn't take DC to a group when clearly unwell, disturbed sleep, bad cough etc. Why do others feel this is ok just because they'd have to stay home or find other things to do outdoors?

I also feel like this is worse than it used to be. I have a much older DC, late teens, who was at home until age 3 when they went to a school based nursery. Yes, they got colds etc but it wasn't the illness onslaught it seems to be now. I know there's been a COVID effect but is there anything else? I'm just fed up with DC and me constantly getting ill.

what’s the bug?

I totally agree!

There is always always one or two babies/ toddlers with runny sniffy noses / coughs in soft play areas or stay and play groups.

It's so annoying just watching the parents look at their ill child pretending everything is okay, whilst they are touching every single toy around them. I find myself just moving somewhere quietly and trying to keep away 🥲

A minor sniffle is unavoidable, I do get that. But if you have a clearly unwell child (as I said, coughing all the time, generally look poorly, disturbed sleep or fever) find another way to entertain them without relying on a toddler group, where your child will infect loads of others, causing nights of awful sleep and missed leisure activities for everyone. It drives me potty.

what is wrong with your toddler atm?

Get some elderberry syrup! Good knows how it works but I’ve given Dd Sambucol since going back to school in September last year and she’s gone from getting sick every other week to not having caught a single thing (including missing 3 bouts of noro!) and not having a single day off. Expensive but I save a fortune in not having to take sick days.

I'm not sure why that's relevant. It's a general issue.

Couldn't agree more! I think if just a sniffle/mild cough and they're well otherwise then fair enough, but I get so anxious watching other toddlers clinging to their mum at groups because they feel so unwell, and then getting up and coughing all over my DD for five minutes at the end 😂

I know you can't stop them catching bugs, and really they need to catch some to build immunity, but it's the watching it happen that drives me nuts, especially when the ill child looks like they should be having a sofa day!

I feel like the pandemic has left me probably a bit more anxious than is healthy about germs, but I do wish some parents wouldn't drag their kids out when ill for no good reason.

curious about your definition of a “bug”

I agree. It's really grim and selfish behaviour. They've probably never considered that there could be kids or adults there with immune system problems, or that people might be living with elderly relatives etc.

Also why on earth would you drag your clearly ill child out like that? Surely it's not good for them.

Here it's mainly the childminders/ au pairs who drag a sick child to play groups. It's extremely unfair on everyone. I was at a group once and a poor child threw up everywhere and the mother stayed for a good 20 minutes afterwards with the poor child who was distraught

That's just awful. Why do people do it? I suppose she may have thought everyone was exposed now anyway but if the little one was distressed, it's awful to hang around a further 20 mins.

I hate this selfish reasoning that "if we didn't go out when they were ill, we would never go out." It's nonsense - what they mean is they can't go to toddler groups where they don't have to entertain their child themselves. If your child is well enough to go out but clearly ill enough to infect other people, wrap them up and go for a walk or whatever, just not into a warm, enclosed space with other people. I also hate the "why should my child miss out" mentality. 1) They really won't remember in 5 years time that they missed Library Music Group one Monday or little Johnny's 3rd birthday and 2) maybe so other people don't end up having to miss out in a few days time!

I'm sure people behave more selfishly in this regard than they used to.

i imagine parents wfh and need them out the door

My DH wfh. We manage to stay at home quite comfortably if DC is ill. We don't disturb him but regardless, it's a home first and a workplace second if push comes to shove.

great

i was throwing it out there as a “why”. I have never used a CM or au pair or been one so no leanings either way.