Buying books about both male and female puberty.

[ThisIsOk]

I have a son who is almost 11 years old and we have had in-depth conversations over the last few months about sex and reproduction and he’s recently had a lesson at school regarding this.

He told me that they were also spoken to about puberty but that the girls and boys were separated. I do understand the reasoning for this but it’s also important to me that my son is aware of what happens to girls too.

I have spoken to him about puberty myself (both sexes) but as part of his teaching I want to purchase him an actual book about female puberty. I recently bought him three books: one about male puberty, one about sex and the other was about relationships and consent. We are reading these books together and he is enjoying them.

I told my friend I was planning on getting my son one about female puberty too and she said it was really inappropriate as she was sure that young girls going through puberty wouldn’t want boys to know about the private charges that are happening to them (physically and emotionally). I had never considered that angle but as she has a daughter (aged 12) I did take her point of view on board.

So I thought I would ask here and see what other parents have done or are considering doing as I do feel quite strongly that I want my son to be aware of what challenges young girls through during puberty as well as what boys face in the hope that it might make him more compassionate and understanding?

Thank you.

I think it’s a good idea for people to be educated on both sexes. There is still a lot of period shame about and you educating your son should take any mystery out of it.

the amount of grown men I know who believe you can’t have a wee with a tampon in is unbelievable.

I didn’t do books, I used the YouTube videos made by some really great educators for my boys. They watched one for boys, one for girls, one which described both and they also watched the sex and childbirth ones (age appropriate). I watched with them obviously and we talked them over. Why I’m earth wouldn’t you teach boys about girls? Your friend is an idiot, sorry.

I think your approach is great and what should be expected across the board!
I have both a tween girl and younger boy and have started having conversations with both of them in age appropriate ways since they were 5/6.

I good understanding of both sides can only be beneficial for my point of view and if parents do this well then there shouldn’t be the desire for boys or girls to upset the other side.

Most books have a chapter on the opposite sex in my experience.

I bought my DC the Usbourne books (a couple of different ones for different ages) for boys/girls but the boys one also has a section about changes happening to girls and vice versa. I think it is important to know what is happening to the other sex.

I don't understand your friend at all. But then I do often see on here women seemingly thinking periods are objectively embarrassing. And that it is a given that boys will tease girls about periods. I don't get that attitude myself.

Absolutely, please do educate your son.

The amount of misinformation that comes up, leading men to have no understanding or unreasonable expectations of women, is most effectively countered by knowledge.

It could also help with things like making him take precautions about unplanned pregnancy seriously too - eg sperm can live in the female body for up to 5 days after sex, which is a really good reason to make sure he uses condoms every time when he gets to that stage of life...

It's important for both sexes to understand what happens to both sexes during puberty, even if you focus a bit more on what happens to your own child's sex. You are doing the right thing educating him properly, and even if he does hear all the usual playground random chat, he will also know what really happens, what organs are really called, and how to be more understanding of people's feelings.

It's rather late to be discussing puberty. Girls can be having periods at 8 and boys can be experiencing wet dreams etc at a similar age. Children need to be informed of changes before they happen otherwise they will be "informed" by who knows.

Boys and girls need to be informed of both sexes, it is basic human biology. With your friends attitude we will be back to the 1900s, how on earth can intelligent people advocate ignorance.