Friend has fleas

[Ohdeargodicant]

I went to my friends house. They have many furry pets. The place is riddled with fleas. I've ended up infested in my own home after going there and I have no pets! Even found a couple in the car.
How do I avoid going there without being rude? She seems oblivious and her poor animals are crawling with them. It's not the first time this has happened. It's cost me a lot of time and money in flea treatment for my house and I don't have animals! It's rare that I go there and am not bitten by the time I leave. I'm obviously transferring them on my person but how do you avoid this?

Does she know they have fleas? This happened to me (no pets either) and the person denied it 🙄 but if she knows just tell her.

BTW OP I can recommend RIP Flea - you can get it from a vet clinic it’s bloody expensive at about £35 a can but it works wonders, kills everything in sight and saves on more costly treatments

Honestly it’s that unacceptable for her to let her animals be in this condition I would report her to the RSPCA and see if they will do anything.

Flea bites can cause animals to become very unwell when they are riddled with them.

You need to tell RSPCA

Cat/dog fleas are unable to survive very long and infest an environment without the intended host. They will bite humans but cannot sustain or reproduce so without pets in your home you shouldn’t have had an actual infestation. Unless they’re actually human fleas too……But jeez that’s unpleasant and you’ll just have to find a way of steering clear.

I also couldn’t be friends with someone who neglected their animals in this way so it would be easy for me not to go to their house.

The RSPCA don’t come out for animals that are actually abused, they won’t give a flying fart about animals with fleas.

Plus as what the PP’s have said, that’s highly unpleasant for the poor animals, no doubt they’ll have tapeworm too as fleas carry it and this can have an effect on humans too. She needs to be told.

Manky cow (sorry). I'd have to say something to her.

I had a similar issue with a friend with pets where the house was so dirty I couldn't bear it (and I'm a massive slattern by Mumsnet standards) I just had other plans whenever they asked. I didn't care if she clocked why honestly. It would have been a positive thing.

Oh god I hope not human fleas. I'm definitely not going back in there!

She knows but is too skint to buy proper treatments for them. It's a shame but pets cost money to look after and I feel she should not have so many if she can't give them basic care and maintenance.

How do I avoid going there without being rude? She seems oblivious and her poor animals are crawling with them.

Why would you not simply tell her the truth?

You say the animals are suffering, but you'd rather not say anything about it to her in case she thinks you're being rude?

I'm scared she will find out it was me. Our families are long time friends and she's married to my DS best friends cousin. Very small village.

I would not go there any more and if she asks why then tell her

Either report her or stump up the cash to get her the treatments - leaving the animals to suffer is not acceptable

How can she both be "oblivious" and "knows but is too skint to buy treatments"?

Either say, buy her some flea bombs for the home and drops for the animals or direct her to a charity that can help.

Sorry she knows they have them but seems oblivious to the fact that other people find it off putting

Never mind the people, what about her poor animals? One of my cats has an allergy to flea bites, and I have to treat him all year round. It's under control now, but he was quite miserable for a time. She shouldn't have animals if she can't afford basic care - I managed to treat mine even when I was living on a job seeker allowance.

Some people live like animals. Therefore should not own animals. Just tell her. Or report her to RSPCA.

The gross thing is that these morons then go around spreading things to other people. Presumably she goes out and about in her flea infested clothes, hair and so on.

If she really is your friend you should tell her, it is the kind thing to do

Say something to her. Make her feel embarrassed. Does she have children? I grew up in a house like that. It was horrible. My legs were chewed to pieces. It took someone to shame my mum before she took it seriously. It's nearly impossible to get rid of an infestation when you have a lot of carpets. Even if the animals are treated, the eggs in the carpets and soft furnishings will hatch eventually and continue the cycle. It takes a lot of work.

Just be blunt. “Mate I’m sorry but I can we just meet up outside yoir house, I know the flea thing sucks for you but everytime I come round I get bitten and it’s doing my head in, I’d rather meet up somewhere else.”

If she's oblivious that other people find it off putting she won't know who shopped her in unless you talked to her quite extensively about the fleas and recently.

You really need to speak to the RSPCA though OP, please don't allow those poor animals to suffer, please be brave for them. Xx

If she's oblivious to the effect that it is having on others, the kindest thing for you to do is to tell her. You can do that compassionately and sensitively, surely OP, if you're good friends?

I’d just say ‘sorry friend, fleas give me the eeby jeebies and you are too much of an animal lover, I’ll meet you in Costa instead!’