meeting up with an old school friend

[Flute56]

I recently got in touch with an old school friend via facebook. We messaged and she said she would love to meet up with me. That was before Christmas. We said we would arrange something in the new year. I never heard back from her about it so I messaged her and said do you still want to meet up and she said yes I would love to but I am not well. I have a chest infection.

Before she said that I messaged her and said hi Happy New Year let me know when it is ok for you to meet up and she totally ignored that message. She read it but never replied to say she was ill and it was only a few days after when I messaged her again she confirmed she was unwell. I did the decent thing and wrote back and said get well soon. She saw thaat message and did not say thannk you. If someone said that to me I would say thank you. Makes me wish I had not bothered

@Flute56, I haven’t searched your name, but I remember your other threads, one in particular, which was all about your need for ‘intense contact’, ideally meaning many texts a day, and how you’d been asked by another friend to stop messaging her so often. In that thread, I think you recognised that your communication patterns were unusually intense and needy, and didn’t work for most people — but it sounds as if you’re doing the same thing here, crowding someone. She may well have intended to meet you at some point, but may now feel crowded and put off…?

Well I always reply to people no matter what. It was just the way i was brought up. My prents drummed it into my head that it is rude to ignore. Anyway it was very clear that she was no tinterested so i messaged her and said I was too busy to meet and we should forget about it. To be honest if someone said that to me and I was genuinely interested in meeting them I would have said ok sorry you are busy maybe when you are less busy we can meet but she read the message and that was the end of that. I then blocked her from socia media.

I did meet up with one of our old mutual school friends before Christmas and decided that after we met, I did not want to pursue it again, ut the difference is that at least that other person DID meet me and slso she messaged me quite a few times on wassap. This other one seemed enthusiastic but never ever came back to me to make any arrangement and furthermore just ignored me when I messaged to try and fix up something concrete giving me the excuse that she had a chest infection. I amnot saying she was lying but the old friend who did meet me has very serious deliberating health issues and yet she still came to meet meee.