Does anyone else's partner seem to try it on at the worst possible times?

[not2night1]

I'm just wondering if it's only my husband who seems incapable of reading cues when it comes to sex and when to initiate it? Its like he chooses the worst possible moments!

I can be absolutely knackered and tell him I can't wait to get home and put my pjs on and chill out because I'm dead on my feet and he'll think that night is a good time to try it on when ive finally just curled up on the sofa. Or if I'm unwell and have a cold, I can be a snivelling mess complaining how rubbish I feel and again he will think then is when I'd really love to go at it...?!

Is it just mine?? Its lighthearted but it confuses me every time. Maybe it's just a difference between men and women I don't know but I can't imagine feeling rotten and unwell and thinking you know what I'd really like to do it right now. It's like he always chooses the moments where its the last thing I would want to do.

My husband isn't like this, he's considerate and wouldn't be 'trying it on' (though I don't like that phrase) if I wasn't feeling my best or very obviously just needing to rest.

It's just because he wants to so he thinks it's worth a try. It doesn't enter his tiny brain that it isn't a good time for you.

I just have to be direct with mine, now I’ve explained that wooing me is pointless and if he wants to put me in the mood, unloading the dishwasher or cleaning the kitchen are pretty bloody sexy, he’s got the gist.

(and for those worried about my lazy husband, I work less than 16 hours a week so I also do house and children, he works god knows how many hours but most of the ones available)

The illness thing is crap, but I wonder if he's interpreting your "I want an early night in PJs on the sofa" as a signal. Especially if sometimes an early night/cuddling on the sofa leads to sex? Maybe you need to create a phrase to signal that you could be up for sex that night so that he knows where he stands!

This post reminds me that there are good parts about being single. I don't miss this.

He's not rubbish at reading your cues, he's just very happy to ignore them. Because his desire is more important than your wellbeing. He's an arsehole, I'm sorry.

My ex husband asked me if we could "have a shag" while walking to the car with our newborn son. Absolute twat.

Have you ever told him this?

Totally agree with this - he is only thinking of what he wants. Which suggests that when he's thinking of sexual satisfaction, he's not really thinking about how to achieve that for you as well. He's only focused on getting his needs met. Sex is supposed to be mutually fun and enjoyable. If he were thinking of you, he'd be thinking of how to make it fun, interesting and exciting for you. He'd be thinking of your needs. And that would include how you're feeling and whether it's a good time for you.

Is he selfish in other ways? Is he kind and considerate, does he share the workload at home etc?

I can see why he's an ex! 😳