Friend in need

[Ozzy91]

Hi,

I'm in a tricky situation and would like to hear your thoughts.

I have a friend who I have known for 15 years. He has suffered from alcoholism and drug addiction for many years.

I myself am 4 years clean and sober, having struggled for a long time and I have tried to help him on several occasions.

He has messaged me today to tell me he has been kicked out of rehab, his parents don't want him at the house and can he stay with me for a few days.

It's a difficult decision and I want to help, however I have had to say no. As mentioned I am in recovery, as is my husband and we have a baby. I've told him it's too risky to have him stay (last time he was in my home, he used in the bathroom).

I feel incredibly guilty for saying no and worry about what will happen to him. He is in a very bad place health wise and it's not far fetched to say he might not live for much longer.

Have I made the right decision? Or AIBU?

He can’t stay. Well done for making the decision, but perhaps take some time to reflect why you are questioning yourself. You know it is the right thing, you have a baby, a husband, your friend has used in your bathroom, you are recovering and must guard your sobriety at all costs - yet still you doubt yourself.

I am so sorry you are in this horrible situation. If he has been kicked out of rehab, I would guess he is doing things which may challenge what you need to do to stay safe. So I think it is the right decision, but perhaps keep in touch with him, meet him outside the house, etc.

Do not let an addict who has been thrown out of rehab stay at your home when you and your husband are in recovery and have a baby to think of. It would be madness if you did. Your family’s wellbeing has to come first. He has been kicked out of rehab for a reason.

You're doing the right thing but I know it's so hard ❤️ I would not have someone using around my kids, even without the risk to your own sobriety.

Well done on your recovery XXX

Yes you have, without any doubt you have done the right thing.

Thank you to all who have responded. I know it's the right decision but just a tough one. I'll continue trying to support him in other ways.

Of course he shouldn't live with you especially if he is still using. He obviously is otherwise he wouldn't have got kicked out of rehab. don't they recommend that you lose contact with all other users except through alcoholics anonymous or narcotics anonymous?

You can't put your baby or your selves at risk and you can support him in other ways like words of encouragement