Am I being ungrateful? (DH and birthday)

[BroadMaude]

My DH has arranged a 30th birthday surprise for me. It turns out we are going to see a show which is one I love.

but the thing is -

I auditioned for this show before. I am a professional dancer. It was a really big deal putting myself out there again, having had a baby six months before my audition. I worked really hard leading up to it and someone on the audition panel was so rude to me. I didn’t get it.

It was a show I’d always wanted to do and the whole thing really crushed my confidence. I cried and cried over it.

DH has form for remembering only positive things (eg. He would remember I really like something but not something else that I was really upset by) because he “doesn’t like to dwell on negative emotions”

I feel quite bitter about going tbh! I will still go because he’s arranged it but he could have booked so many other performances and he’s booked the one that happens to be closest to us, and the one he apparently doesn’t remember I auditioned for.

Remind him. And switch the tickets.

Can you exchange it for a different show?

It’s tonight! He just told me about 30 mins ago

Tell him, post the tickets on a local FB group quick!! Someone will snap them up. Maybe not full price but something.

I'm genuinely not trying to be nasty, but as a professional performer, you have to develop resilience. There will always be someone more beautiful or with a better voice, or who is a better dancer, or who is a rude twat with no social skills who thinks they are "being their authentic self" by insulting people. You've still got to believe in yourself and know you've "got it". You must be pretty amazing if you were auditioning for a pro show six months after giving birth - so don't let one rude muppet ruin it all for you.

Go and see your favourite show (and grumble at the interval that you would have been better). Your DH was trying to do a nice thing, see the positives in the situation.

Would you enjoy the show? If you'd enjoy it just go. If you genuinely wouldn't then tell him.

Go! Get yourself a large wine and then enjoy without the stress of being the performer!

( I absolutely understand why you feel like you feel - but take the positives )

You love the show he got tickets for it which is rather nice tbh go enjoy

What @PonyPatter44 said

Ponypatter has it exactly, go and enjoy the show and think about how much more fabulous you would have been 😉

Currently at the interval. The show is good.

it’s just the way I see it -

if your dream job was working for a specific kitchen company but they said you werent attractive enough to work there you would be upset.

for your 30th birthday your DH said there was a big surprise in store and it turns out to be an expensive kitchen from that company, where the manager had been very rude.

the expensive kitchen doesn’t hurt but the fact it’s from there and your money went to that company is annoying. A kitchen from a different company would have been preferable as you could just enjoy it without also having a grumble.

obviously IABU but it’s how I feel

anyway it turns out I know someone in the cast so it’s at least nice to watch them

Oh wow, that would upset me too!

In your shoes I'd do my best to enjoy it, as you seem to be, not bring it up tonight after drinking especially in case you both are defensive but wait until a neutral time in the near future and explain that even though you appreciated the gesture, you found it a bit difficult etc. It sounds like he means well done even if he was thoughtless in this instance so hopefully if you explain he'll understand and apologise!