to expect DH to just give me a break?

[Boobalina]

Second babber is nearly 6 months old and still hasnt sleep through the night yet and first child is 3 - lovely but wilful. As a consequence I am getting more and more tired lately and DH's patience is waning. He is constantly criticising me all the time and if I say 'I'm tired' - his reply is 'Your always tired!' Admittedly I am getting oversensitive and he does work hard.

We had a massive fight last night culminating in me saying I hated his guts and he was a C U Next Tuesday. Not very patient I know but he is being such a twonk.

3 yr old in the car this morning asked if we could have no more shouting for a while please.

I know it is the way of having babies - you have them, they dont sleep, everyone is grumpy, then they do sleep and all is well again.

So, am I being unreasonable?

[3NAB]

Yes, but so is he. There is no need for language like that and I feel so your little boy said that.

Try and sleep in the day when the other two do.

The six month old is getting to the point where he should be able to go all night without milk so look at that and above all apologise to your DH and try and work out a plan to make your lifes easier.

I have 3 children and are always tired too so I do understand.

[scottishmummy]

children are like sponges they sook everything up and retain it!i do think it sounds really tough forboth of you.

can someone babysit - both go out.
have fun
relax
try put the zazazoom back

[Boobalina]

I know, I am really sad that 3yr old sad that too. By the way - the 'language' was said at night when kids were in bed. Shouting he referred to was this morning when DH was complaining I was washing my hair in shower and he felt it would make him late for work... it didnt.

[scottishmummy]

i genuinely think this is a so hard.sleep deprivation affects judgment, mood etc.no wonder you feel tired

i guess put this one down to experience. try work some treats into evening for both of you eg dvd, wine, take away.

my friend's 2yr was under house arrest for a week after piping up "oh for for feck sake" after some daddy work at home time. seriously it took a week for hin to stop saying it

main thing is children are sponges they do sook it all up - but hey you know that one

[Boobalina]

I know kids soak it all up which is why we dont swear in front of them - the main bulk of the row was when both kids were asleep in bed.

[3NAB]

Try and talk to hubby. You can sort this out. I am sure you are both shattered.

[reikizen]

Horrible isn't it? I can sympathise, me and dp are horrible to each other sometimes when we are tired. Also, men are pretty selfish in the main and they can be like children in my experience. They push you to your limit to see how far you will go. Don't know the answer tho as our workload for kids and home is still 80/20 in my favour! And that makes for some fun explosions once in a while.

[Boobalina]

Thank you all for being understanding. I've just sent him this email at work...

Babe,
I am very sorry for all the nasty things i said last night - namely that I hated you, and wished you would drop dead. It was very childish of me and was said purely out of anger, I misguidedly wanted you to feel as hurt as I do.

I know we should be having this conversation face to face and rationally and not shouting. But by the time the kids are in bed, I am literally on my knees, over tired, over sensitive and irritable. I can't help. I really am sleep deprived which wont be fixed until XXX learns to stop feeding in the night and XXX stops fecking getting out of bed because of monsters or bloody weeing in it. The longest stretch of sleep I had last night was 3 3/4 hours - from changing XXX sheets at 1.30 and XXX waking again for a feed at 5.10

Yes, i know we should be calm and not shout and all of those things. I wish you could see that I am trying in so many ways and yes, I am oversenstive to any criticism at the moment. Particularly when I really do feel that lately, I have received nothing positive for all that I am trying to do. The occasional 'well done' is not enough and you know I find it partonising. Some days I have minimal adult company / conversation and it can be very frustrating and lonely.

I do love you and I need you to help me or it feels I have NO ONE on my side at all.

Love

XXX

To the MN's - I was a total kid when insulting him last night - 'I hate your guts' What a nob!

[Boobalina]

He does do a similar thing most sats... he needs to work on lactating though