Can my daughter be adopted if her dad isn’t on the birth certificate?

[Adoptioqq]

Dd’s dad refused to go on the birth certificate and even went so far as to ask for a dna test via cms. He’s been paying for Dd for 5 years now and seen her a couple of times two years ago. He is an unpleasant man.

I am in a relationship, together for nearly 4 years and we will be married in March. My fiancé would like to adopt dd. Does anyone know if this is possible without involving her dad given he is not on the birth certificate? I could contact him directly but he is a nasty piece of work and I don’t want to do that unless I have to.

I don't know much about this but I think this is a good idea.

Any application for adoption requires either the consent of the natural parent if their identity is known or the court to dispense with the consent. The LA will need to produce a report to submit to the Court. The bar for adoption is, rightly, very high. You mention your ex pays a lot of maintenance. That will cease if DD is adopted. So will her automatic right to inherit from him under the laws of intestacy. There is quite a lot to think about.

And in the event you and your new husband were to divorce his status as parent would be equal to yours, legally.

Do not do this.

I have a family member who did. Different as a father had never been on the scene. Exactly the same as you, they had been together four years when they had their own baby together and he adopted her older child.

He turned out to be abusive. He’s now legally the father of both her children, but hugely favours his own biological child- one of the reasons she left in the end. Yes, he does want to continue being ‘dad’ to the older! - he’s quite vociferous about that - why should the older one get away with missing contact, they’re there to babysit their brother, lazy little shit that they are… etc.

Adoption is permanent.
I’m sure your partner is lovely but please do not make such a permanent, massive decision on behalf of your child until you can hand on heart say you KNOW that this person will be the father she deserves. My friend would have said that after four years, it wasn’t long enough.

As I said, in a better nutshell. Just don’t do it. There’s no need to.

Listen to PP.

Given you are not even married to your partner yet, it would be very very wise to wait a while longer (several years into the marriage) before allowing him to adopt your child.

It’s a huge commitment, even bigger than marriage. A child cannot ‘divorce’ a parent. You will be able to leave your husband-to-be if you ever want to, it won’t be so easy for your child.

Wait.

What would be the point of this? Why would you want to give a man equal right to your child if you were to split? You aren't even legally committed to him yourself yet. Also her father will stop maintenance if the tie is severed, that money is for your DD, if you don't need it, put it away for her.

In these circumstances it's unfair of you and your partner to decide who your DD's parents are, don't rewrite her history. Let her decide later on if she wants to see your partner as 'Dad'.

I wouldn't do it. He can care for her, love her & put her first without this.

I wouldn't give up the money he contributes to her.

I wouldn't give ANYONE parental rights over my child.

if it's about surnames, he can change his to hers.

he can make her feel secure in his love without adopting her & causing all this absolutely unnecessary hassle.

I would also go further and say, with respect, there are two factors to this that also make me uneasy. First, it sounds as if you have previously been in an abusive relationship, your DD’s dad certainly turned out to be not the man you thought he was. How long were you on your own after that before this relationship? Are you sure you took stock, and time to heal, before jumping in again? One thing that tells me you might not have is the fact you’re even considering this. How much of this is about just wanting to sever the link with him? He IS her father and really, only she has the right to decide to terminate that link. Four years is not that long and your eagerness to make such a permanent change seems possibly to be much more about your feelings about the father than it should he.

Secondly, I’m also uneasy at the fact that your partner is the one pushing this -is he? Again, I would say that the kind of man who you would want your child to be formally adopted by would be, ironically, the kind of man who wouldn’t even dream of suggesting this only four years in. If he is the driver here, please consider the possible negative reasons there could be for that - the need for control, for ownership. It is unusual to say the least.

But ultimately, I just think you don’t have the right to do this and certainly not so soon.

My partner and I have been together for 7 years and are getting married next year. He wants to adopt my daughter, but I have been told that I need 'permission' from the birth partner. He has never been in her life, never seen her, not got parent responsibility, not on the birth certificate, no access rights, yet I have to ask permission? I don't even know if he's alive or dead (I'm hoping the latter) or where is! I went through 2 years of court (and hell) when my daughter was a baby as he wanted PR and access, but due to an abusive relationship, I did not want him in my life or my daughters. He didn't turn up to the final hearing, and it was dismissed from court. He had until she was 16 to reapply, but of course he never did, as it was always more about me, not my daughter. Now 15 years later, my new partner wants to adopt her, and he gets a say? What the hell is this country coming to? Any advice?

Oh and just to add, I have never had a penny from him, never asked , never wanted

My advice is as above. Say no. There is no need for your partner to adopt your daughter and it’s not a good idea.

I agree.

PR or not permission will be sought from birth parents, as he was abusive he may say no as a way to control you. However the courts can go against his wishes if they also agree it’s in the best interests of the child. If it doesn’t work he as a step parent can gain parental responsibility, which helps with things like doctors appointments etc.

You don’t need a solicitor, the family court do most of the work in the background. It can take a while though, my husband adopted my son and start to finish was 11 months for a simple non-contested case.

can my husband adopt his step daughter even tho he has been her life since birth, biological
father not in picture, doesnt pay cms and isnt on the birth certificate

I here's the link you need

https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-stepchild