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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dentist Cancellation - AIBU

18 replies

Loubilou23 · 19/01/2024 21:09

I had a dentist appointment booked for yesterday at 12.30 (I have pain in tooth so it was reasonably urgent but not an emergency).

Dentist rings me at 11.50 to tell me they are seriously running over with their previous client and could I please come in at 3.00pm instead.

I couldn't do that as had meetings all afternoon - I have a full time, senior role and work with the US so usually anytime from about 1.00pm is a complete no go.

She then offered me 2.30pm today, to which I said well it currently looks okay so I will have to say yes as I do have pain that I don't really want to leave, so yes let's go with that (I would never normally book any appointment past 12 ish as my job is unpredictable, calls can and often are put in at 15 mins notice).

Come today at 1.45pm, my client needs me to attend an immediate conference call at 2.00pm which he has put in diary for an hour and he is whatsapping and teamsing me asking for information...It's clear he is stressed and this is a non negotiable meeting so I am now not going to be able to make dentist appointment.

Ring dentist with 40 minutes to go until appointment and apart from her questioning me about how important my meeting really was, she then told me she would have to charge me a cancellation fee for missing the appointment with only 45 minutes to spare.

So AIBU to expect the same courtesy of understanding that these things happen and you accommodate unexpected changes in schedule?

OP posts:
Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 19/01/2024 21:11

If the dental issue was really an emergency you should’ve had someone else cover the meeting- you can’t be that indispensable.

Lovingitallnow · 19/01/2024 21:14

YANBU. That's insane. The appointment was only made 26 hours in advance.

Original poster
Loubilou23 · 19/01/2024 21:15

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday

You're not answering the question.

Whether I am or am not indispensable wasn't the question. You have no idea of my work life, why I was needed on the call and why someone else could not have done it.

The question was should the dentist extend the same courtesy they expect with a 40 minute cancellation?

OP posts:
Original poster
Loubilou23 · 19/01/2024 21:16

Lovingitallnow · 19/01/2024 21:14

YANBU. That's insane. The appointment was only made 26 hours in advance.

Edited

Exactly!!!

She said well we have no time to fill the appointment now you are cancelling, but yet what chance of filling the appointment did they have when they offered it to me only 26 hours prior?

OP posts:
44PumpLane · 19/01/2024 21:16

I think that as they initially cancelled on you, they should forgive the cancellation by you this time- especially given you explained your afternoon reluctance when they rebooked you

PamelaParis · 19/01/2024 21:19

Is this a private dentist or NHS? Generally I think YABU. You shouldn't have accepted the appointment as there was a high chance you'd have to schedule a call. Once you'd accepted it, you should have blocked out your calendar. Maybe it's time to find a more flexible job?

Original poster
Loubilou23 · 19/01/2024 21:22

PamelaParis · 19/01/2024 21:19

Is this a private dentist or NHS? Generally I think YABU. You shouldn't have accepted the appointment as there was a high chance you'd have to schedule a call. Once you'd accepted it, you should have blocked out your calendar. Maybe it's time to find a more flexible job?

I have a very flexible working from home job where I have most mornings to book appointments as needed, hence why I book my appointments prior to 1.00/2.00pm. Suits me very well.

OP posts:
Reugny · 19/01/2024 21:29

Loubilou23 · 19/01/2024 21:22

I have a very flexible working from home job where I have most mornings to book appointments as needed, hence why I book my appointments prior to 1.00/2.00pm. Suits me very well.

Show quote history

Didn't work this time though.

It appears you both don't value your relationship with one another. If it is a private dentist find a new dentist with better time keeping.

I have cancelled a dental appointment at short notice but my reason was due to transport. I wasn't charged even though I was prepared to pay. Now make sure I'm early for appointments even if I have to stand around for them to open or hang around in the shops nearby. I am an NHS patient who pays for private work as needed.

pooonastick · 19/01/2024 21:29

Dentist here. That's outrageous and unfair . I would never do that to a patient . I would be fighting this one.

AGoingConcern · 19/01/2024 21:33

She said well we have no time to fill the appointment now you are cancelling, but yet what chance of filling the appointment did they have when they offered it to me only 26 hours prior?

Of course there was a good chance of them filling an appointment slot with more than a day of notice. People call all the time looking for first-available appointments or ask to be called day-of if there are cancellations. But 40 minutes is very different.

While it would have been kind of them to waive the cancellation fee, it's unreasonable to demand that. When you accepted the appointment this afternoon you either needed to block out the time on your calendar (it is absolutely absurd if you can't do that for a time-sensitive medical appointment unless your job is literally life and death for other people) or accept that you might have to cancel and pay a fee. You chose not to block it out and not to tell your client they'd have to wait an hour - that's fine and its your choice, but the dentist isn't responsible for it.

Mairzydotes · 19/01/2024 21:34

It's all very well them having a cancellation policy because people don't turn up . But I can't believe that they were running so far behind they had to put your appointment back so much . It was really cheeky to ask you to do that . I don't know what they should have done instead though.

Original poster
Loubilou23 · 19/01/2024 21:40

pooonastick · 19/01/2024 21:29

Dentist here. That's outrageous and unfair . I would never do that to a patient . I would be fighting this one.

I agree!

I have switched practices as of today, and have my first appointment with them on Wednesday.

OP posts:
NoTouch · 19/01/2024 21:47

You accepted the new emergency appointment and cancelled with short notice.

If you couldnt confidently make it you should have asked for an alternative, someone else could have had that appointment. What happened previously is irrelevant.

Original poster
Loubilou23 · 19/01/2024 21:48

AGoingConcern · 19/01/2024 21:33

She said well we have no time to fill the appointment now you are cancelling, but yet what chance of filling the appointment did they have when they offered it to me only 26 hours prior?

Of course there was a good chance of them filling an appointment slot with more than a day of notice. People call all the time looking for first-available appointments or ask to be called day-of if there are cancellations. But 40 minutes is very different.

While it would have been kind of them to waive the cancellation fee, it's unreasonable to demand that. When you accepted the appointment this afternoon you either needed to block out the time on your calendar (it is absolutely absurd if you can't do that for a time-sensitive medical appointment unless your job is literally life and death for other people) or accept that you might have to cancel and pay a fee. You chose not to block it out and not to tell your client they'd have to wait an hour - that's fine and its your choice, but the dentist isn't responsible for it.

I haven't "demanded" anything...not sure where you got that from in my original post.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loubilou23 · 19/01/2024 21:50

NoTouch · 19/01/2024 21:47

You accepted the new emergency appointment and cancelled with short notice.

If you couldnt confidently make it you should have asked for an alternative, someone else could have had that appointment. What happened previously is irrelevant.

Where did I state is was an emergency appointment?😂

OP posts:
AGoingConcern · 19/01/2024 21:50

I haven't "demanded" anything...not sure where you got that from in my original post.

"Expect" if that seems like a nicer word than demand. You're angry and leaving the practice because you felt they needed to waive the fee or they were in the wrong.

NoTouch · 19/01/2024 21:51

Loubilou23 · 19/01/2024 21:50

Where did I state is was an emergency appointment?😂

Show quote history

Ok, urgent. Point stands though, you accepted the appointment.

Hmmmmaybe · 19/01/2024 21:54

Of course you shouldn’t pay

there saying they can cancwl
at the last minute but you can’t

I think the other posters are annoyed that you are actually valuing yourself and your job instead of abjectly putting yourself last as all good woman should…

No way I wouod pay and I’d write a very shitty email

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