Am I the Unreasonable Neighbour?

[RemoteControlHeron]

We moved into our semi detached house a couple of years ago and have gone a considerable amount of work to make it our dream home. When we moved in the attached neighbours were an older couple who clearly loved their garden, had lots of mature trees, veg patch, chickens, etc. We moved as the garden is quite large and I love gardening/spending time in the garden. Fast forward 1 year and the lovely couple sold up and a family with three young children moved in.

What they have done:

• completely razed the garden to the ground, taking every single tree down (incl v mature apples, sob) and just leaving an expanse of rubble and mess. We now have no privacy on that side due to lack of trees and of course the inevitable trampoline and football goals turned up, meaning children bouncing and footballs in the garden daily
• burn all trees and plants they cut down throughout the summer
• started a massive two story extension with builders blocking us into our drive daily for nearly a year.
• said extension is higher than the existing house meaning our joint guttering no longer joins and water pours between the houses. mr next doors proposal is to redirect the water into our single story extension guttering so it goes down our downpipe

What we have done:

• Called building control to check legalities re gutter - cue mr next door copping the AH
• finally told the builders we had enough of being blocked in and to park elsewhere
• planted a row of 8 pleached trees along the boundary (1 ft from our fence) for privacy - cue mr next door stropping round to tell us to have them moved, on telling no, demanding we instruct professional maintenance so not a single living leaf crossed his boundary. Obviously we will trim the tree so it doesn’t encroach on his side.
• desperately searched detached houses in order to move to realise we couldn’t afford to where we are

Are we being unreasonable?

Sounds like six of one and half a dozen of the other to me

They are entitled to do what they want to the garden as long as they have planning etc just like you are. Some people just aren’t green fingered like you, not everyone is the same.

No I don't think you're the unreasonable neighbour, but I don't think they are either.

(I'm with you on the cut down trees though)

You say you put in a lot of work to get your dream home- the're doing the same thing you did, it's just their idea of dream home/garden differs from yours.

You were never going to have the original owners as neighbours forever. This stuff is all part and parcel of community living. The building works won't last forever, your new boundary trees will grow to give you privacy and things will settle down.

We had exactly the same situation in our last house. They cut down trees including a beautiful mature yew, very special. The shallow pond got ripped up (poor old frogs) and they got chickens and then failed to secure the run, plus their three kids were SO noisy!
We moved but couldn't afford detached so we're in another semi where there are older kids next door so mostly they aren't in the garden. I hate what people do to their gardens now, it does actually matter in terms of the enviroment, birds and wildlife.

I think you have legitimate complaints about the builders blocking you in and the guttering. Both of which can be easily resolved with a conversation.
No need to create bad feelings.
You have different styles of living. But I'd recommend you do whatever it takes to keep a cordial relationship with your neighbours.

I hate them Op.

I don't think there's anything you can do about people like this though. They're allowed to sanitise the fuck out of thier own and property, tear up trees and destroy habitats and harmonious eco systems.

Their kids, instead of climbing trees and picking apples, digging in the mud will be living in some sort of ..I don't know.

Am I judging?:yes I am. Leave ...run for the hills ..there are affordable hills out there where people who don't do thing like this would never go. Find that place and go there .....I wish you well.

My heart breaks for you.

You are not unreasonable to be unhappy, but you are unreasonable to think you can do much about it. What they do with their garden is up to them, although I'm completely understand why you think it's awful. I would too.

As long as they have planning permission for the extension, you can't do anything about that either. However, they should do something about the problem with the guttering and the builders should not be preventing you from accessing your home.

I’m with you op. I have no privacy for exactly the same reason. I’d be interested to know more about the pleached trees

Why on earth if you want to move are you only looking at detached?
Detached still have adjoining gardens and extensions still block light, and people will still park in front of your drive.

Why did you not say anything to builders straight away?

I think you are both being unreasonable.

I know it isn't always a feasible option (as you have said, OP), but this is why we've always bought detached houses and avoid adjoining gardens/neighbours being too close. I do sympathise, I would be very anxious with other people's decisions affecting my property/garden.

I think YANBU.

Well one of the reasons we decided against moving whilst largely cost, detached, for that very reason, often doesn’t escape the problem of adjoining gardens. They are quite noisy inside which obv detached would solve.

We didn’t say anything to the builders straight away as we were trying to be cordial and understanding as they are perfectly entitled to build their extension and these things can happen. We only said when the builders became quite rude about being asked to move and they were starting to take the pee quite frankly. Perhaps saying something in the first place would have prevented that so you may be right.

They seem to have done the job although early days. Quite expensive but they give the instant effect which impatient people like me enjoy. Remains to be seen how it works with the neighbours and how much they get cross, although the point of them is to grow across the frame , so by keeping an eye it shouldn’t go across their boundary.

Thank you am trying to persuade non driving DH that the middle of nowhere is ideal 😁

Tell the neighbour you'll stop any leaves going into his garden if he in turn will stop his kids noise and nuisance coming in to your garden.

Although it's sad for nature, I can understand that at this point in time the garden is of more use to him if it's suitable for the children to play in. However he sounds like a knob who is only interested in what suits him. Well done for standing up to him. Don't let him get away with redirecting his water into your guttering. You may be able to report him to the council if he continues having daytime bonfires. It's an offence under the Environmental Protection Act 1990 to cause a statutory smoke nuisance, and if he's burning garden waste that hasn't dried out, it must surely be smoky?

@RemoteControlHeron

What does "cue mr next door copping the AH" mean?

Am I being dim? (Quite possible.)

Copping the a*rsehole!

Indeed it is. Not aided by the fact by the burning often extends until 4am complete with his flood lights on.

So he doesn’t want a single leaf in his garden yet thinks it’s ok for his dcs to kick balls into yours? Ok.
Plant the trees op, lots of them.

Pleached trees are flat trees used to make a screen. Almost like a hedge in the air. Lots of people use them for privacy screening. I live in a new build and the gardens are overlooked. They look like this.