Help or don’t help but if you won’t help then don’t criticise !!!

[Helpordontthen]

AIBU to be SO pissed off with ‘d’m ???

My 10 year old dd needs some (routine) bloods. It’s a walk in service . I’d mentioned it to dm in passing.

We can’t do it immediately due to other commitments , appts, and the drop in sessions start at school times . Dm has been going on and on at me ‘get there when they open to get seen ‘ - I can’t as have to be dropping younger dc at school at that time .
Telling me to go at other times (that coincide with or won’t allow me to get back in time for nursery pick up)

There’s nothing wrong with dm she’s in great health, drives, lives nearby and is retired - she could in theory help (although I don’t expect that And haven’t asked we just planned to take dd when we could probably in half term as it’s not urgent). Dm if she was that bothered could offer to take dd or to help with school / nursery.

Instead , she is calling me and messaging daily to say why haven’t I taken dd yet - that it’s ‘neglectful’ and she’s worried. That I should manage my time better etc etc etc

I feel like she should either help or be quiet !!!

No real advice but you are NBU OP. If you don't want to be blunt with your mum I would put her on an information diet and just tell her as little as possible.

She’s just really pissing me off with it all it’s every day . Just critical and coming up with ideas that don’t work out for us and I’ve made it so clear it’s not urgent bloods !

Just tell her (calmly) each time that you can't be in two places at once and that the tests will be done idc.

(Also, IME drop in phlebotomy is hideously busy first thing. If you don't really want to wait for half term, I'd suggest taking along lunchbreak one day and going at the end of the morning session or the start of the afternoon. Do realise there may be good reasons why this doesn't work either - I'm posting more to point out that your DMum clearly doesn't frequent clinics of this sort as she's made a bad suggestion!)

If she is that bothered, why not ask her outright to help? It might get her to help or shut up.

OR, is that the only clinic available? It was a bit more of a trek, but the hospital near me runs a clinic on a Saturday morning. I was in and out of the carpark within the 10 mins free parking allowance! Much more convenient than having g to request time off work or wait until my fixed holidays came up.

I would just say 'If you're worried, you're welcome to take her yourself.'

I probably wouldn't be telling my mum about every routine medical appointment in the first place, though, especially if she's got form for poking her nose in.

I dont really see why you haven't asked her for help? But also your reasons do sound kind of lame.

I think you need to ask her for specific help - ie drop off/pick up of other child on x day so you can get bloods done. If bloods are needed, than they need doing.

instead of seething, can you ask her to take her if it would help alleviate her anxiety about it not happening quick enough?

Why haven't you asked her to help? I'm sure you could make it in time if you tried.

Just go back next time and say look mum I have told you why I cant do it and that hasn’t changed. However as you are so concerned what time will you be here tomorrow to collect her?

While they might be "routine", you really should be prioritising your child's health, even if it means everyone is later into school/work one morning. Your mum isn't entirely wrong here.

Well you seem very ambivalent about getting them done, so I do kinda see why she's nagging, but I also see why it's annoying.
Can you or DH honestly not book an hour or two off work, drop little one at nursery and take big one straight for bloods and then back to school?

Just take the kids late to school one day and get it done?

I really hate when people do this as well!

Just say next time that if she can just drop younger dc to school/nursery then you’d be able to take DD for bloods. Otherwise it will be a case of waiting a few weeks for half term.