AIBU to take another year off work?

[Animallover87]

I'm currently half way through mat leave with my first (and only) baby.

I've been offered the opportunity to take another (unpaid) year from my company. It won't in any way affect my job prospects afterwards and I would slot back into the same job.

My DH is happy for me to do this and can cover all the bills on his salary but there isn't much left to spare afterwards so we'd need to tighten our belts but it's definitely doable.

I would rather look after my baby myself for another year than send him to childcare (no family support)

Would you do it?

Definitely take it off.

I went back to work when my daughter was 11 months (now 15 months) and it’s at this age she is learning so much and changing so much that I wish i could be with her everyday.

you won’t get the time back to do over so enjoy it if you are able to.

Good for you for wanting to actually be a mum!
If it feels right for you yes, take the year and enjoy it.

Mums who work are mum's too.

You could always increase your days and responsibilities to boost your pension once your DD is older anyway.

Your day to day costs naturally go down anyway with babies and toddlers. You’re likely not having big nights out or not regularly. You can wear the clothes you already have you don’t need work clothes. Frankly swanky holidays with tiny children is a waste of money we love our holidays but stuck to wales in June with under threes as going abroad was too much effort and you were just doing childcare when you got there.

Then when they are older you can go resume travel but when they can properly enjoy it with you.

A teachers pension is great anyway. And time with DC is priceless.

What a wonderful gift this is for you and the little one. I'd have bitten their hand off.

You say you're desperate to do it. Please just grab it with both hands!

Are dads who work not actually dads?

Yes 100%

Oh, who is my sons' mum when I'm at work?

Someone you’ve ’farmed him out to’, in that type of poster’s view. Meaning of course that virtually every mother and all the fathers throughout human history have not in fact been their children’s parents.

I would do ur and I did do it

My concern would be them refusing you part time after the additional year.

I personally found part time to be the perfect balance for me to keep my sanity and be a better mum. But I totally understand the wish for an extra year, especially as It's going to be your only baby and mat leave. Childcare costs would eat up a decent chunk of income anyway so the hit isn't as dramatic as it feels. Could you afford to voluntarily contribute £100/month to your pension while you're off just to keep your hand In?

Spend the time at home with your DS, you'll enjoy the playgroups and activities, and some of those mums / kids will pop back up when he goes to school, which helps with settling.

I am a bit confused about why you would have £75k savings, and £120k mortgage. A mortgage will cost you twice its value over the term, and saving rates are woeful. Why wouldn't you pay off £55k to reduce your outgoings and just keep an emergency pot?

In a heartbeat I would have done that! I felt lucky to have had 12 months and was not ready to go back! I had to stop paying into my pension during the years she was at nursery as I couldn’t afford both. If I could afford it now, I’d take her out of school for a year to travel. I think she’d benefit from that much more than school tbh.

I didn't work until my children started school and consequently have less pension but don't regret it at all. As someone else said, teaching pensions are good anyway and you'll have the chance to make voluntary contributions later. Just make sure you claim everything you can, if you can get child benefit you won't need to make NI payments. Also make the most of any childcare allowances so that you have some time for yourself too.
You're so lucky that your employers appreciate you.

I stayed at home with my children until they both started school. We just made sacrifices. Small children don’t ask for much, they are happy with an ice cream at the park. So many cheap toddler groups. At the end of the day they just want to be with you. It’s a shame now, that people tend to focus on pensions and savings when none of us really know what the future holds. I don’t regret staying off work at all, it was hard work but totally worth it. I now work 3 days a week and the balance is great for us. Do what’s best for you and your family ❤️

It seems your strongest feeling is you want to do it so I would, you can’t get this time back. Teaching is a good caterer to slot back into . You can always make up your pension contributions in the future if they look to be badly affected.

Career!!! 😅

I would have no hesitation to take the year off. Those early years are so important and you can never can get them back.

So when I’m at work who is DT’s mum?

@Parker231 i would assume the poster meant a hands on mum that looks after her own child’s day to day physical needs. No need to be snarky.

Do it! Seriously, do it. They're little for such a short amount of time, they're learning so many new things, and I cannot stress this enough- you do not get this time back! Do it. Think of it as taking a year of your retirement early, and getting to spend it with your baby. You're not going to reach old age and wish you'd spent less time with your baby and more time at work.

I couldn't agree more.

I think women have been sold a bit of a myth that taking a few years out is career suicide.

Maybe years ago, when there wasn't such a shortage of labour but not now.

I'm not saying you don't have to update your skills, but realistically how long would that take? 3-6 months?

And pensions can be topped up any time. Like when the kids have left home and you're not paying out for them any more.

There's an absolute need to challenge sexist comments such as pp's.

Parker and others have read it right.