Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Holiday without the dog

64 replies

hondagirl500 · 18/01/2024 21:22

We have a lovely dog, and she is with us 24/7. She is Daddy’s girl.
it’s my birthday later in year, and a significant one. Husband does not like flying, but I really want to go to somewhere hot for my birthday. That means the only way to get there (Caribbean) is cruise, so it will be 3-4 weeks instead of 2 weeks if you fly. I would be happy to fly. He doesn’t like to leave dog (with friends) for 3/4 weeks but won’t fly which would only leave her for 2.
as it’s December, very few other options for destinations (been to canaries). I feel as it’s my significant birthday he should put me before dog! What do you think?

OP posts:

Thehamsterthatcametotea · 19/01/2024 07:58

Would he consider hypnotherapy or something using the money that you will save by not going on a cruise? He’s got until December to try it.

regenerate · 19/01/2024 07:58

what is your marriage otherwise like?

BringItOnxxx · 19/01/2024 07:59

That is way too long to leave the poor dog. Find a compromise or go with someone else. It shouldn't be that complicated... what a fuss over nothing.

DancefloorAcrobatics · 19/01/2024 08:00

Husband is right for not leaving the dog for 4 weeks.

He's wrong about the not flying to go on holiday.

barkymcbark · 19/01/2024 08:01

Can't you go somewhere like Spain in the summer, it's hot, you can drive and it won't mean a prolonged period of time . Get a lovely luxury hotel or tour around Europe.

catelynjane · 19/01/2024 08:02

allthecakesinalltheworld · 19/01/2024 07:51

If he's flown with his mates to go skiing, then he just cba to go away for your birthday.

Ask around your friends to find someone to have your dream holiday with and leave him at home with the number one girl in his life.

A flight to go skiing in Europe is a couple of hours - a flight to the Caribbean is four times that.

BarrelOfOtters · 19/01/2024 08:03

We left our dog for 3 weeks to go long haul. She was with dh’s parents who adore her and she adores them. It was all fine.

but if they couldn’t have her we’d be stuck as there’s no one we could leave her with for longer than a long weekend and we’d never put her in kennels.

Branster · 19/01/2024 08:04

4 weeks is an incredibly long time to leave the dog without the owners. For the dog.
It would be a nightmare for the people having the dog.
This is a velcro dog. Even two weeks would be very difficult for everyone.
I see two weeks as maximum I'd ever leave our dogs without any of us at home.

Why don't you change plans and go on a top luxury holiday to a hot weather destination closer to home for 2 weeks later in the year?

SoupDragon · 19/01/2024 08:05

ThePoshUns · 19/01/2024 07:40

Does it have to be the Carribean? Could you do a Mediterranean cruise as a compromise?
I wouldn't leave a dog for 4 weeks

Why is it the OP who has to make all the compromises about her birthday treat? What compromises is the DH making?

Aprilx · 19/01/2024 08:07

Are you sure you can cruise to the Caribbean anyway? I have only heard of transatlantic cruises going to New York or other mainland USA.

I have no qualms about using kennels for my dogs, they got used to it from young and love going, they bound over as soon as we get them out of the car. But I would not put them in kennels for four weeks, absolutely no way and I think this is an imposition on friends too.

Your husband can get on a plane for friends, I think he needs to get on a plane for you too.

regenerate · 19/01/2024 08:09

Given your posting history OP

Ot is more baffling that you want to go away with your husband and not your dog

highlo · 19/01/2024 08:10

BeadedBubbles · 19/01/2024 07:37

But husband really not keen on flying. He has flown before, and when his mates were going skiing he was more than happy to fly!

You're implying double standards. But if you live in the UK are you comparing a 3/4 hour flight to a European ski resort with an 8 hour flight to the Caribbean? The former sounds manageable for someone who doesn't like flying, the latter less so!

I know a few people who hate flying but do it. All of them have said it's take off and landing that are the worst so the length of flight doesn't actually make too much difference.

I think 2 weeks is pretty standard for dog owners if your friends are genuinely ok with it. However, your dog doesn't sound like it's used to being left AT ALL. Would you expect your friends to be with the dog 24/7?

I have a dog who I'd leave with my parents for 2 weeks and vice versa with their dog. However my dog spends time with them weekly and they have their own dog so doesn't impact them too much. Even at that I'd think twice about going for much more than 2 weeks.

Your DH needs to get his big boy pants on and do the flight or you go with someone else and he can stay with the dog 24/7 if that's what he likes

Mrsjayy · 19/01/2024 08:11

catelynjane · 19/01/2024 08:02

A flight to go skiing in Europe is a couple of hours - a flight to the Caribbean is four times that.

Show quote history

I mean once you are up you are up, it's mind over matter and he is needing to try and sort himself, he's right about the dog though I wouldn't want to leave mine for 4 weeks. ..

EvergreenHouse · 19/01/2024 08:17

Dogs are more important than humans now. This is the ridiculous world we live in.🤷🏼‍♀️

EvergreenHouse · 19/01/2024 08:20

Four weeks is a long time to leave a house, empty. Would you consider getting a house sitter that also likes dogs?

Anyway, I would not want to sail to the Caribbean just to start the cruise. It feels like such a long waste of time. But then cruising does not appeal to me anyway.

candlelog · 19/01/2024 08:22

I wouldn't leave my dog for 4 weeks, even with family, unless it was an emergency situation. I leave with family for 7/8 nights and that's my maximum.

TeaGinandFags · 19/01/2024 08:22

I think the flying is a red herring. The hushand doesn't wang to go on holiday without his dog. Also 4 weeks vs 2 weeks: the holiday is 2 weeks but the travelling is another 2 weeks if they don't take a plane.

Go without him. He's being a selfish arse.

Anisette · 19/01/2024 08:24

Of course he should put you before the dog. He presumably trusts his friends to look after it, so three weeks away won't do it any harm. He clearly doesn't have an actual phobia of flying, so if he's bothered about the length of time away from the dog he should man up and get on the plane.

I commented in the dogs hijacking thread how I couldn't understand how people allow pets to rule their lives. This is a prime example of it.

aLFIESMA · 19/01/2024 08:30

If your dog is with you 24/7 (never left on her own ever, as my little darling is) how do you think even a few nights apart will affect her?

Original poster

hondagirl500 · 19/01/2024 08:31

Thanks for the replies.
the nature of our business means we cannot take time off in the summer months at all. So all holidays in the winter anyway.
the dog would go to friends who see her regularly, love her to bits.
there are a few med cruises over winter but med is not warm then! I dream of warm seas, palm trees etc! Canary Islands warm but been there, done that last year. Want to go somewhere different and special and to me, Caribbean is that dream.

OP posts:

RoachFish · 19/01/2024 08:32

4 weeks is definitely a bit much to be away for someone’s birthday. I’m guessing you are asking him to use up pretty much all of his annual leave for you. I’m not sure I would be up for that but would probably not want to say it so I’d blame it on the dog instead.

it’s just a day of the year that you happened to be born on, I think you should lower your expectations somewhat when it comes to what you think others should sacrifice for it.

also, would hate to be on a cruise ship in the Atlantic in the middle of the winter.

CoffeeMachineNewbie · 19/01/2024 08:34

You need a conversation talking in facts not emotions. You feel like he isnt prioritising you or putting you first for your hig birthday. He doesnt want to leave the dog for 3 weeks.

Unless one of you changed your mind, your choices are to both go for a shorter period or him staying home.

Seriously consider parking the cruise to the Caribbean and agreeing to take a break from having a dog when he passes and to prioritise longer holidays then.

In the meantime, plenty of people go on solo holidays. In my day people went with G Adventures but I think Trailfinders also do solo group holidays. They were always really good. I would start there. The trios I took were a bit tough and ready but I think they do pusher ones and I'd be surprised if there isnt another company catering to the singles market wanting a pusher experience.

Grimchmas · 19/01/2024 08:38

Have you actually asked your H to help problem solve this?

You really want to go to the carribean with him for your birthday. He doesn't want to leave the dog for 3-4 weeks. Ask him how he thinks you can achieve both.

He may (hopefully will) come out with the radical idea that he doesn't mind flying for this after all.

Universalsnail · 19/01/2024 08:39

You are not being unreasonable. The dog can go to a dog sitter if you can't find family. You can get ones that stay in your house if he's bothered about the dog going elsewhere.

Honestly the idea that you can't possible leave a dog cared for by other people while you go on a nice holiday completely rediculous. It's a dog. As long as dog is cared for you should be able to leave it. He might not be keen on flying but surely he can cope if he's not terrified of flying.

He is putting the dog before you on your big birthday.

aLFIESMA · 19/01/2024 08:41

It's a big leap from being with you all day and night 24/7 to being left for weeks at a time . Or is she used to being left?

Flip

1 2 3