@slore unless your elderly relative was pregnant you are comparing apples and oranges.
When you are pregnant your body increases clotting and makes your blood more sticky. It ramps up towards the end of pregnancy. It’s to stop you bleeding to death in labour but it means that women are at their highest risk of blood clots at the end of and for several weeks after pregnancy. If you have extra risk factors then you are at increased risk of a clot, stroke or heart attack. It’s not just you at risk either, it’s your unborn baby depending on if a clot does form and where it forms. This is why you’ve been advised to take them now at 36 weeks - you are at the highest risk now and for the next 16 weeks or so.
Yes you can of course refuse the thinners, but why would you if you’ve been advised to take them?
I have a clotting issue so I take thinners in pregnancy and for a while after. Someone I went to primary school with died from a clot 3 weeks after having a baby. Another local lady also sadly died due to a clot. Both in their 20s, not overweight, no history of clots. It can happen to anyone.
The blood thinners last about 12 hours. You can’t have an epidural in this time but I’m not sure if you can have one with a home birth anyway. I had 2 elcs deliveries at 37 weeks (due to the increased clot risk after this with my sticky blood and the extra pregnancy clotting factors). I was older than you for both and also overweight. I lost 400ml on the first and less on the second.
Have a discussion. Risks are risks, it’s not a guarantee anything bad will happen, and it’s a relatively small risk - but if it did you want to be sure you’ve given it full consideration.
All the best whatever you decide x