to be irritated that football fixtures aren't available in advance?

[JadziaD]

DS joined a football team last season. He played a few matches but it was a bit ad hoc and I assumed its as because we were new. Now he's a fully committed member of the team.

But while matches are every Saturday, we do not get info on where or when until the week before. Sometimes even as late as Wednesday or Thursday. So we have to keep the ENTIRE Saturday open as we don't know if we're playing at home at 9am or away (up to 45 minutes travel) at 12:30.

Is it just our division/league? Or all teams? And am I the only one who finds it so annoying? We do other sports and activities and this simply isn't the case with any of them. Either we know in advance and/or for short notice activities, there's a total understanding that if you can't make it, so be it.

How old?
My DD plays Rugby and we sometimes have the same thing with timings (but location known) ad they have to balance all the ae groups. Shes U11 so they are often first. But in someplace they have Mini training before matches... Plus sometimes its 3 teams coming together so there's 3 matches to play.

Its Ll volunteer run and the coaches do their best.

Yes I find this with football too - although we do know whether it's home or away, just not the time.

Whereas my DD's netball fixtures are published for the whole season, times and dates. I don't know why football can't do this!

I used to coach a youth side. We used to get about 3 months fixtures in advance, but rarely did it stick to the fixture list, Cup games, cancellations due to school trips, County/District match clashes were just some of the reasons. Once it starts it has a snowball effect. We could be 90% sure of next weeks match, but they really are subject to change in an instant by the league organisers.

I guess it makes sense how it happens. But it's astonishing annoying nonetheless. Some of the other families on his team treat football matches like a whole family day out, so perhaps for them it's fine. But for us it's a pain. DH sometimes is asked to work extra shifts on a Saturday but if he says yes, it's a total lottery if I'm going to be able to manage football AND DD's activities. DS was stressed about accepting an invite to a friend's party a few weeks ago as the party started at 14:00 and for a late, away match, he wouldn't be back in time. I had to ask the mum if I could confirm the week before.

It just drives me mad because while I get why it happens, I think other sports either plan it better OR put less pressure on the players to absolutely make it to every single game.

It frustrates me endlessly too...but in my experience this sort of organised chaos is largely for the non-league junior football. So each match is important to the kids but there aren't divisions based on ability or league tables/points.

Once my daughter entered the competitive leagues in yr7 all of the fixtures were published at the start of the season so you knew whether you were home or away. There was also a requirement that any games played outside of the ordinary 2 hour window (to give clubs some flexibility on kick off time but still allow for reasonable planning) that advance permission was obtained from the league and both teams had to agree to it. Don't get me wrong, some matches still changed at fairly short notice, but overall it was much easier to plan.

However, the competitive league brings up a whole different host of issues to replace the ad hoc scheduling!

@LittleLegsKeepGoing yes, it's definitely not at a competitive level. Perhaps I need to stop allowing the pressure of "you must play every match" to affect me. Because for me, that's the difference - if he plays at al lower level, and matches are more ad hoc, then I shouldn't feel like I have to be 100% available. And perhaps I'm putting that pressure on myself (him). To be fair, if children can't play, the coach is always nice about it. But the excuses are usually illness or injury not, "sorry, we're planning to get some shopping done and actually, we can't do it after 11:30...."

If your child plays in a league, you can find the information on the FA website - they usually publish fixtures a few months in advance:

fulltime.thefa.com

Same here too. We find out at 8pm on a Thursday. It's SO frustrating when you have other commitments yourselves and other children.

But the leagues are run wholly by volunteers with full time jobs which we appreciate and are grateful for.

We still have this and DD1 is 16. One time they turned up to a match and an adult male team were on the pitch and refused to move even though the girl's teams had booked it. Three hours out of the house and no game, DD's team coaches were furious. I just assume Saturday morning is a complete write off and DD and DH will be out.

We always had advanced notice of my two sons' football matches, but with one car and the possibility they were playing in two different locations on the same morning, I had to arrange on occasion for someone to take one of them to the other match. Perhaps you could do the same if you need to be elsewhere at the time of the match? I hated having to rely sometimes on others, but needs must, and I was always happy to help out others in return if they had similar issues. I'm sure other parents will help, and your son will acknowledge that you can't be there for every match.

We always get the full season fixtures, always know if home or away. Never the actual kick off time though, but it's always either 9, 930 or 10 at the latest as the coaches don't want to waste anyone's full day. League is completely voluntary so makes sense when they've already committed to at least two other training nights during the week.

Volunteer to be the fixture secretary then you have all the agro of trying to sort out fixtures in your spare time and all the joy of parents like you moaning about your thankless efforts!!

Take your son out the team then? If it's a 'chore' for you unlike the 'other families' who treat it as a day out. How stuck up you are

Was just going to say the same thing. If you can do a better job of the scheduling OP, then offer to do it.

Usually the other team and home/away are fixed a number of weeks/months in advance. The issue is normally the teams have to fit around other teams who are using the facilties, if they are a club with 4-6 teams and all are playing at home that weekend then they probably have to schedule them over Sat and Sun to fit them all in.

Some of these responses are a bit odd, but overall, I'm glad I'm not the only one experiencing the frustration.

I didn't actually know that at this level planning in advance isn't so easy because of non-controllable variables. Annoying for everyone, I'm sure.

As for me not being allowed to moan and instead I should volunteer - I volunteer plenty, thank you. I am team manager for DS' other sport and trust me, if some of the parents were even half as mild and accommodating as I am about this football thing, my life would be 1000x better - I find it irritating, but I suck it up, I've never said a word to the coach or other parents and we are there, week in and week out doing our bit for the team. Unlike many other parents in my experience who spend their days complaining because they don't see why their child should wear black socks as he prefers white or who ask me where and when the game is, even though they received an email AND a WhatsApp the day before with ALL the info. Or any of the 500 other things that many parents do that is genuinely ungrateful and rude.

So please take your "if you're not doing it yourself you have no right to have any issues" argument somewhere else.

That's some serious projection there. Bloody hell. I said that other families treat it as a day out so they don't mind the uncertainty ie because they don't have other things planned.

And I said that for us it is a "pain" (not a "chore" - putting "chore" in inverted commas doesn't magically make it something I actually said) because I have other logistics I have to consider like DH' work schedule or DD's activities.

We have a Heja app and it says games / times weeks in advance if you look on there. They do change slightly sometimes but not very often.

I did the admin for my son's team for a while and always tried to get the time and location out as soon as possible. Home games were the easiest as I got the allocation a month in advance but even then I had to wait for confirmation from the opposition team and the referee. Referee allocations were done by the league on a weekly basis on a Monday, it doesn't give you a lot of time really.

Confirmation on Wednesday or Thursday seems the norm.

Last minute cancellations due to flooded or frozen pitches were a nightmare, no whatsapp then so all had to be done by text or email.

@DuncinToffee oh, I think last minute cancellations due to weather or other issues are totally fine. I don't blame anyone for that. That's completely out of anyone's control.

We have the exact same with my DD's football and its so frustrating. Sometimes it clashes with DS's rugby, sometimes it doesn't. It's my birthday on a Saturday soon and I can't even make proper plans until I know what time the training is. I have asked and was told they had to wait for pitch allocation but surely it isn't that difficult.

I know you weren't blaming anyone for cancellations. I was just remembering the stress trying to contact everyone in time

YABU
i help run a youth football team
We get our fixtures from the league 10 days in advance of the match.
As a club we then allocate kick off times for our teams playing at home.
There is never a week when the same teams play at home.
We also have to take other factors into consideration.
Sometimes teams ask for morning/ afternoon kick off due to outside reasons ie parties.
Each club organisers it’s own kick off times due to their own parameters.
There is no way each team can have the same time every week I’m afraid.

We get our fixtures from the league 10 days in advance of the match.

I do struggle to understand this though. For other sports, the fixtures are fixed at the beginning of the season. I mean sure, when we get to things like knock out stages of a division tournament the fixture list might say something like, "Winner of group A vs winner of Group C" for a specific time and date but then as you get closer, you know that you will either play at this time or that time. But it seems that's not so easy in this context. I don't fully get it, but I accept it!

I think things like netball are often played at a central venue which makes timetabling in advance easy. With football hardly anywhere has multiple football pitches available on one site so you have the whole ‘home/away’ issue (though I’d expect teams to know if it’s home or away in advance) and it’s up to
the home team to communicate to the away the time and location of the match. I did used to play in a netball league which did this and my club booked all courts at the start of the season so at least our home games were known in advance, but away games we often only got a week’s notice and you’re right, it is a pain. I was young free and single then, now with a young family I’d find it extremely irritating!!

if I were you OP I’d have boundaries - things like parties I would tell your child they had to accept or decline, and this may mean missing football if they clash. Likewise your husbands work. When declining football as a result, I would say ‘we have now made other plans as we can’t keep the whole day free for a 1 hour game’.