Has anyone else experienced this?

[Needalittlesunshine]

I'm not even sure if this is an AIBU but here goes..

We are a small family and in recent years have sadly lost a lot of family the most recent being my dear grandmother. My mother is heavily reliant on alcohol and becomes nasty/toxic behaviour when she has been drinking. I get the brunt end of this due to still being at home, currently in the process of buying home with DP. As we are a small family we decided to sort out my grandmothers home together, it's been a family home for over 50 years so a lot of memories we all grew up there.
My mother has began to make things even more difficult than they are by accusing me and my sister of all sorts such as taking things from the house when we haven't, that we are taking over organising ect the list goes on. I know that she has been in the house and took things out of it already, as there are things going missing we know we haven't touched and she keeps going round when she has been drinking but we have no way of stopping her. As I am still at home I have done all that I can to support her but it is quite often thrown back in my face even before we were going through this recent bereavement.

What would anyone advise to do in this situation? AIBU to expect her to show up and be the mother I know she can be?

If she has been drinking a lot for quite a long time she is probably developing short term memory problems.

She'll remember that the house is being sorted but not what was given to who,

It's very similar to the early stages of dementia, and people then often accuse others of stealing as they forget where they left their purse/wallet.

She should step up and support you but alcoholics generally don't I'm afraid.

I'm sorry - it sounds like a difficult situation.

I’m glad you have a sister and hope she is supportive. But YABU to expect your mother to step up I’m afraid as it doesn’t sound like she has made any efforts to control her alcoholism. I’m sorry.

YANBU to want her to show up and be the mother I know she can be, but YABU to expect it. She is an addict and the only one who can do anything about it is her.

Personally I would get the house sorted asap and get out.

Horrible situation. My sympathies.