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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this normal as a new mum/parent?

28 replies

000821a · 17/01/2024 15:38

I have a one year old. I’ve enjoyed the last year mostly. But I think a LOT about my old life. I transport myself back to even baths where my home was silent, not listening out for a cry.

I remember booking flights last minute and packing hours before because I only needed to think of me. It seems like this exciting world that I desperately miss. I yearn for it.

I remember Saturdays just doing what the hell I wanted. Being able to move anywhere in the world without thinking of anyone else.

Is it normal to feel like this? Some days it even feels like grief. Like part of me is gone forever and I just want one more day like that.

OP posts:
MoonlightMedicine · 17/01/2024 23:23

I definitely grieved for my previous, carefree life. I felt I had totally lost myself.

It did get a lot better and now 13 years later it's a distant memory.

In my opinion it's well within the realm of of normal, especially if you've had a really fun, enjoyable lifestyle pre baby. Flowers

whyamiawakestill · 17/01/2024 23:36

I'm going back almost 19 years now but I recall that feeling well, I actually took fairly drastic action and booked a week away, met with single old life friends and had a blast.

It was amazing, I needed to feel like the old me, I wanted some days to have drinks, sleep in, talk to adults and I did. I was judged left right and centre but didn't care I knew I needed space.

By about day 4 I wanted to go home (long haul) but didn't I stayed, relaxed and enjoyed my friends.

When I flew home I'd missed my DD so so much I was a better person, I felt refreshed, ready and just like me again.l, the urge to run away crisps up occasionally but I do just love a quick trip and me time.

Hindsight is a great thing and on reflection yes I maybe had PND in today's world, I'm sure if I'd expressed that I would have been given some drugs.

Would I change my approach nope!

But maybe you just need a break, can you plan a night or two away? Can you have some breaks to be "you" I mean also maybe talk about it with others and the GP if you feel really low, but also just try and carve out some "old you" time.

It's so important not to get lost.

Whatsinaname1234 · 18/01/2024 10:58

whyamiawakestill · 17/01/2024 23:36

I'm going back almost 19 years now but I recall that feeling well, I actually took fairly drastic action and booked a week away, met with single old life friends and had a blast.

It was amazing, I needed to feel like the old me, I wanted some days to have drinks, sleep in, talk to adults and I did. I was judged left right and centre but didn't care I knew I needed space.

By about day 4 I wanted to go home (long haul) but didn't I stayed, relaxed and enjoyed my friends.

When I flew home I'd missed my DD so so much I was a better person, I felt refreshed, ready and just like me again.l, the urge to run away crisps up occasionally but I do just love a quick trip and me time.

Hindsight is a great thing and on reflection yes I maybe had PND in today's world, I'm sure if I'd expressed that I would have been given some drugs.

Would I change my approach nope!

But maybe you just need a break, can you plan a night or two away? Can you have some breaks to be "you" I mean also maybe talk about it with others and the GP if you feel really low, but also just try and carve out some "old you" time.

It's so important not to get lost.

Such a lovely and really helpful post. Mumsnet at its best x

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