To wonder what can be done for vulnerable people? (Trigger warning) [Content warning added by MNHQ: mentions child abuse]

[Soubriquet]

This poor little boy starved to death after his father died of a heart attack. He was found curled up next to his dad.

Apparently a social worker tried twice to gain access, even contacting the police, but still didn’t do anything until she went to the landlord and gained a key in which it was far too late.

Why didn’t the neighbours report a child who was surely crying with hunger?

Why didn’t the police investigate when the social worker reported twice that she was getting no response from a vulnerable family?

lonk

To be fair, I think everyone is not only sticking up for the SW, but acknowledging she did more than anyone.

The Social Worker went above and beyond. It’s disgraceful that any blame is being thrown her way.

Mother hadn't seen the little one since before Xmas as she had fallen out with the father. I would think that a caring parent would ring/facetime/call round to speak to the child and make sure they had a nice Xmas.
A "caring parent" as I said.......

It was reported that the mother had quarrelled with the father when he took the child for Xmas. She may have called and thought he was ignoring her. Its possible she wasn't happy about the visit, but was under court order.

She might have gone to his house, we don't know. Or she might not live close by and she has other children. Even if she had gone, she might not have been able to physically break the door down, or she might have been frightened of his reaction if she did. We also don't know if she reported concerns to Social Services.

All we know is that the social worker reported to the police twice and they didn't force entry.

I feel for the social worker, who according to a report I’ve just read has been so affected by this tragedy, she taken time off voluntarily. She went above and beyond, this is not her fault.

This is heartbreaking. Is it possible social services were keeping the mother away from her child for some reason and this is why she wasn’t in contact? That’s the only reason I can think why she would be blaming them.

@Seymour5 mother of 10 good god just a complete joke
how to help vulnerable people don’t let them beed 10 children it makes me so angry that child looked a filthy disgrace not his fault but it’s not acceptable. All these liberal apologists saying people can behave how they want and this is the result

How many single parent are there, up and down the country, who live alone with their baby or toddler?
How many of those don't regularly have contact with any friends or family, at least weekly? How many don't have someone to raise the alarm if they go silent for a week?
How easy would it be for them to fall down the stairs, have an epileptic fit, or a heart attack, etc.

This will happen again.
Police and SW involvement are a red herring. The issue is people living alone with no frequent contact with anyone.

I feel so heartbroken thinking of that poor angel crying in hunger for someone to help him. 😭😭

Well..No not everyone.
however it is refreshing to see posters being balanced in there replies
The usual playbook is blame the SW accompanied by well You’d think…

the mother's comments are a joke. 'We have to be able to rely on social workers to keep our children safe.' No, that's YOUR job!

A lot of it depends on when the dad died. If he'd died on boxing day (the last day he was seen alive) then tbh it would be very unlikely the boy would still be alive by 2 January which was when the social worker first visited anyway. So even if she/the police managed to get in it wouldn't have made any difference.

The DM article has the mother saying she's been told the PM found the dad was unlikely to have died before the 29th but that's 3rd hand info...and tbh even that's up to 5 days. Depending on whether the child could access water or not even that could have been too long.

Really sad case but I don't see how police or particularly the social worker are to blame.

so what do you propose we do regard these solitary individuals what do you suggest? Mandatory contacts and weekly check in for all?

A capacitous adult can chose to have some or no social contacts. Some adults find social contact intolerable or cannot interact or engage with external others. Multiple reasons eg family dynamics, no family, poor social skills, past trauma, mental health issues.desire just to be left alone.

Regarding why didn't local people intervene. Without wanting to appear judgemental there are areas where neighbours don't pop round or get involved in other people's business. You certainly don't grass your neighbours up to the authorities unless you want a brick through your window (at best). From the photos of the street I'd say this is maybe such a place. You keep to yourself. Not everyone in these areas is bad but it's a totally different lifestyle to middle class suburbia.

i was immediately struck by the sw twice asked the police to attend and twice they didnt
no words for the mother

I don’t know all my neighbours they don’t know me, I don’t know who is vulnerable,solitary or has a health/social need. Frankly how would I? I’m out the house 12 hour a day at work. Some people have a very sentimental notion of neighbours or community. Most people are contained and largely unknown to their community

Reading this story really upset me today. That poor little boy. I wish I could do something to prevent it happening again

Always someone else's fault.

Where was the mum in all this? No doubt the dad was caring for the child because she wasn't. Who goes 2 weeks over Xmas without speaking to their 2 year old?

@Zone2NorthLondon but that's the point.

Mumsnet is diverse and can be wonderful, but many people do not leave the house and are aware of their community and do absorb themselves in it.

I'm rural, yes that MN term. We have resilience groups, we know people, we help people, it's a community.

I don't care who you are or what your background is I will help you if you need it.

But I do care here. That a father and child have died. That a mother is shouting about social work, perhaps with misplaced grief, if people want to give the benefit of doubt.

I suspect the harsh reality of the stories to the press is financial. As is often the case.

The family were vulnerable. Let's not pretend any mother or father would not have smashed that door down if the true priority was welfare.

As in someone out work 12 hours a day would not be someone who does not contact their child s length of time.

Why didn’t the mother check up on her child even though she had an argument with the father for all that time too?

Thanks for giving a bit more of a background as to why the mother wasn't involved at the time. Very tragic.

Ten children.

Ok, so you live rurally and are active in knowing your community. If that’s your inclination,fine. It will undoubtedly suit some and not others

The family were vulnerable yes, the toddler was child in need with an allocated SW. that places responsibility on LA to check on welfare & development . This was not an overlooked absent child

For the majority of families not under LA and not CIN there is no mandatory compulsion to check in or be checked up on

As I have said in previous post not all adults want or need contacts or a social network. It can’t be imposed if the adult has capacity and chooses to be self contained

However if adult is lonely or isolated and need help or support then its marvellous that volunteers & faith groups step up

My point is there isn’t and can’t be state mandated or compulsory community participation

The crisis team which is often one person manning a phone. What use are they for a welfare check?

But this was nothing to do with mental health was it? It was a dad and young son who hadn't been seen for over a week. What's that got to do with mental health services?

I'm asking the same questions, the mother is blaming social services but why were they involved in the first place? They wouldn't be if she was a capable parent and clearly she wasn't that interested as she didn't try and make contact with her child in all that time!

If I was the social worker though I'd have broke a window/door and gained entry and not cared about the consequences, it would have been worth it to save him from starving!