To report to social services?

[Unknown18]

Boy is just turned 18. Has low level autism and a physical condition. Seeing him recently, he is very very skinny. He has progressively gotten skinnier over the past few months but is now definitely underweight. His mum goes away often leaving him at home with his siblings, one a year older, two younger. Would you report?

Oh God, that is awfully sad.

🌹for You and a UnMN (((hug)))

💐

Thank you this happened 3 years ago and it's been so hard..I've been on Mumsnet for 15 years this is only the 2nd time I've posted but I couldn't just read and run as it really is so serious

Have you spoken to his mother, he’s an adult so she’s not ‘responsible’ for him as such but sounds like he could do with some help, maybe you could discuss your concerns and signpost her to where she can get more support for him?

Im.so.sorry for your loss my son was in severe DKA on diagnosis he very nearly didn't make it ,such a complex condition.

If in doubt, don't report. He's an adult so social services won't care. They might be interested in the younger children but to take them away they'd need to believe they weren't safe there. You say there's also another adult child living there, do they seem capable of looking after the younger ones? Above all, are the younger children who are actually legally still children seemingly ok? That's the crucial thing. IF you think the younger kids are in danger, report, otherwise I'd stay out of it.

If you’re a friend of the family then surely the first step is to speak with his parents about your concerns. He may well have a disability social worker or be receiving support with his health already. Equally, he may be choosing not to engage - and it’s very difficult when somebody is legally an adult for either their parents or health services to intervene if somebody is choosing not to engage. You indicated earlier that you have tried to educate him on taking care of himself and he isn’t interested, so this is clearly a complex situation which “reporting” to social services is unlikely to solve. It’s going to need engagement of his family above anything else.

Social.services are not just for children
They will.care if he is a vulnerable adult

That’s terrible. He should have been sectioned as a danger to himself.

Really? How is that going to help. One problem with autism is that it can cause eating problems due to taste, textures and gastric problems - I speak from experience, my daughter is autistic and is underweight m. This is not due to not having access to food, it’s a big problem that I try to mitigate everyday. I think you are making assumptions that she is neglecting him.

Not sure if anyone's already mentioned, but there is a specific eating disorder associated with type 1 diabetes, diabulimia. This is when diabetics either take too little insulin or none, which causes weight loss in the short term (and serious complications in the medium and long term). Early adulthood is often a turbulent time for young diabetics anyway - wanting to ignore the condition, fit in with peers, perhaps get drunk or take drugs.

If he's getting skinny and diabetic I'd be worried he may be in DKA or slowly going into DKA.
What's his blood sugars like? Can you take him into your care?

Autism is a huge spectrum if you have met one person with autism you have met one person with autism etc you only have experience of your daughter and how her autism impacts her.
Also i assume your daughter is not also Diabetic?

OP ignore those saying do not report.
You are not in any position to assess why this is happening.
Just report to social services for a vulnerable adult. They may do little.
But when I reported for a vulnerable adult with depression who was not eating they were brilliant. Visited her and had carers round twice a day making sure she was eating until she got well enough to look after herself.
Just contact them. You can do it online or by phone.

Thank you that's how he was originally diagnosed and then was hospitalised a further 8 times in the 11 months following so it was clear to everyone there was problem

They said he couldn't be sectioned as he had capacity and knew the risks...the mental health partnership carried out a mortality review and they admit failures in his care (no risk assessment etc, failure to engage with me) but they stand by the decision not to section him

Could you not approach the mum first? Apologies not rtft so sorry if you've done this. but as the mother to a child with autism I'm sure her life is really difficult and an unwarranted (if that is the case) and unearned referral to social services could also affect her mental health in many ways. Please epleoach her or even his school/day centre etc first. The impact of a call from social services are huge

This isn’t the cause of it, it’s untreated diabetes. I’m not making assumptions I’m saying what I’m seeing

@Polgarahairstreak I am so sorry for your loss, that is truly awful.

I have experience with working with vulnerable adults and have had cases where young people are committing very serious acts of self harm, multiple suicide attempts and we have tried to get them sectioned and have been told no as they have capacity. We were told they were entitled to make the decision to self harm/attempt suicide to that extent. There were clear MH issues that were causing the destructive behaviour but apparently that didnt meet the threshold as they werent diagnosed with a particular mental illness.

Thank you so very much for your reply...so many people don't have experience as to how high the thresholds have to be to be sectioned that sometimes I feel like I'm not believed or that I didn't try hard enough to save him, even though I do have it all in writing

You can’t section someone with capacity! A bad choice is still a valid choice if they can make that choice for themselves and understand the consequences.

I used to be a mental health nurse unfortunately to section someone there has to be immediate concern for a persons safety or that of others
As I said my son is diabetic I understand how complex it's and how not keeping on top of insulin and monitoring blood sugars can lead to DKA ,sadly though unless there was immediate concern it would have been very hard for professionals to implement the mental health act and even if they had it would be even more difficult to force Someone to take insulin
I'm not saying more couldn't have been done and that services were not at fault it's just that section ing someone is a complex process
Its so tragic .

i

Absolutely report. The young person appears to be very unwell and has a life threatening condition if not extremely well managed. There are also 2 younger siblings in the house and who knows who is looking out for them?

So potentially you could refer to adult social care and children’s services.

You won’t know the outcome but you’ll know you did your duty as a responsible adult. Many people don’t understand how deadly diabetes can be.

It's more likely to be T1 given his age. I know more and more you see younger people are being diagnosed with t2 but it's still quite rare for your pancreas to be fucked by diet @ 19.
Given that he's lost weight it's highly likely he is very ill, with extremely high blood glucose. He could go into DKA imminently. In short- he could die.
Is he T1 or T2?
It's a totally different disease and really important to find out!

How do you know it’s untreated?