Am I too old?

[Couldjusteatthat]

Back story-suffered from endo, many fertility problems, losses and an emergency ectopic. Starting trying for a baby at 30/31…finally conceived via Ivf ( not able to naturally due to tube loss) at 39, had Dd at 40. I’m not 45, we have two remaining frozen embryos, I’d be 45 if it were to work. I feel ok, I work part time in my career and can juggle it easily around looking after a baby and would be able to be with them at home. Dd is at school now.
My only real worry is the future for that child, I cry all the time wishing I was ten, even 5 years younger. I’m so so grateful for Dd but life feels unfair. I also feel sad for Dd not having a sibling

I’m having a baby at 44, and had my first at 37. Go for it if you want to! Now that I’m pregnant in my 40s I meet and hear of more women than I realised giving birth in their 40s. It did take 3 losses for me to get here though, so prepare for a bumpy ride. Good luck with whatever you decide.

@Thislife1 Do you feel energetic enough etc?

I don’t feel as good as I did in my last pregnancy, not as energetic, but I’m at a different life stage with a much busier job and child. Otherwise all fine.

I would go for it. My mum was 43 when she had me. My husbands mum was 45 when she had him.

I struggled with secondary infertility for years and just had my second child after a ten year gap from my first, it’s been the most beautiful thing. I’m 39 so I can’t talk on an age related level but I know how hard it is going through IVF and if you’ve got embryos and are in a decent position with work and your life then I really don’t see why not. For me, I would imagine in ten years how I would feel without a second child… That’s why I went for IVF and had repeat cycles, because I knew I would regret it if I didn’t try everything…but only you can decide how you feel about a second

But I would say I wouldn’t have another fresh cycle, I’d only use the embryos you have with the aim of having one more child, but that’s just me…

I had my first just before I turned 40 and then my 2nd just after my 45th birthday. Seriously having children at this age is not common but there's a fair few of us and we manage. Yes parenting is tiring, dealing with peri menopause with a young child is not easy, but it's totally doable.
Regarding the future, we have no crystal ball. People can have their kids young and then sadly die young themselves. There is no certainty. But I would say make sure you look after yourself to do what you can to keep as healthy as you can for as long. But that's no bad thing for anyone.

Go for it, I think if you're going to do it time is of the essence too xx

It’s completely up to you and only you know how you feel but I’m the same age and would feel way too old. Loads of people this age are already grandparents which is crazy but I would hate to be mistaken for my child’s grandparent.
your child would be starting school with you almost 50, that would stand out a mile but if it’s not something that bothers you then it’s fine.

My mum was 43 when I was born, and one of my best friends had her first baby at 43 and is about to have her second aged 45! If your age is the only thing putting you off, I say you may as well try with the two embryos you have left. (Not at the same time, though! You don't want to risk twins!)

I personally wouldn’t. I am 37 and have a six month old baby… my circumstances are different to yours (I have to work full time in quite a inflexible, high pressure job and my husband struggles with ME) but I have found it exhausting. I love my daughter and am so happy we had her but I don’t think I will be trying for another and if I do my cut off age would be 40. I want to be able to give my child as much as I can and I don’t know if I would be able to do that in 5+ years time. But it is a very personal decision. If it is what you want and you have a practical/financial strategy you should go for it. :)

Go for it, you're not too old. Your DD will have a sibling and you will have a lovely little family with 2 children. I had my last DD at 44, she's 19 now and at uni. I've never been made to feel like an older mother - my 'mum friends' were all only slightly younger than me.

I wouldn’t ever do a fresh cycle now, my embryos are from when I was 39

I’d give it a go and see what happens. I’m your age and still broody. I really wish I’d had more kids but my issue is that mine are teens so would be far too big a gap. If I was in your position I wouldn’t hesitate.

You don’t mention your partner, is he/she supportive of the idea?

Why didn’t you start on having a second straight away after having your daughter? If it was because you were too exhausted, will you be able to keep up with a baby and a child?

Otherwise I’d say go for it. Your eggs are 39, not 45.

My mum had me at 40 in the 80's. It was fine.

@teaandtoastwithmarmite But I’d be 45/46