To ask if you ever truly recover from burnout? Feeling hopeless

[cryii]

I went through burnout around 2 years ago now due to a stressful job as well as lots of stress in my life. I'm only in my 20s and feel so much shame about going through burnout so early on in my career. I feel so sensitive and weak, like I'm not resilient enough for life itself.

After my period of burnout I decided to retrain, and last September I started on a course. I don't even know if burnout is the correct term, I would have said 'nervous breakdown' but I don't think that term is really used anymore. I've been enjoying it and feel a lot more mentally healthy, but I still feel so fragile and vulnerable. I don't recognise myself or my reactions to how I was when I went to university the first time round in my early 20s. The slightest thing upsets me, and I can only seem to cope with one thing at a time.

I had a deadline today as well as a stressful group project situation and it's made me feel really tearful and overwhelmed. It reminds me of how I was in the peak of my burnout and I guess it brings back the memories of it.

I'm on antidepressants and have had therapy. I just feel so incredibly fragile still - does that ever go away?

I can't answer your question, but solidarity. Every day is a struggle.

Just wanted to say, could you try to feel less responsible for how you feel? Simply it is what is is. Don’t also carry the additional burden of feeling you ‘should’ feel a certain way that you don’t feel, yet. Or that you may never feel. You’ve had a life altering experience therefore your life will be altered. That is OK. And nothing stays the same forever in life, so how you feel is likely to change over time. Good luck

What therapy did you have? ACT therapy could be really helpful to building your resilience back.

I have had burnout/breakdown twice in my life. Both due to my job and stressful life events. They were years and years apart. It is possible to recover but it takes time and also action which feels counter intuitive.

I see you have had therapy but was it the right kind for you? There are different therapies and therapists and one size does not fit all. You need to feel like you are getting something out of it not just going through the motions.

Have you had your antidepressants reviewed. Could you ask for an increase for a while. A small increase can make a huge difference. You need to find the right dose for your body.

What else have you done? I understand you have gone back to study and left the stressful job but have you changed anything day to day apart from that? It's a big change but it's still an additional stress on your life as studying is hard work as I'm sure you know.
Examples are:
taking yourself out of group chats. These can add to the feeling of overwhelm when pinging all the time and you feel like you must catch up on them adding to your to do list. Lots of the info is irrelevant on there.
Not filling weekends with activities.
Having an online calendar and adding only essential activities and appointments on there so you can keep on top of everything but also see blank spaces on days you have downtime. Seeing a free day in black and white does wonders for your sense of relaxation.
Let the routine go a bit. Don't worry about needing to go to bed at x time or needing to eat now coz you have x later. Just let life flow at its own pace. Don't over schedule your brain. We are good at telling ourselves this needs doing that needs doing but not good at just allowing ourselves to choose to do nothing. I don't have set routines because I take life at the pace I feel like that day. Obviously I do have to get the kids to school on time or whatever but I mean such things as meal times and bath times etc I used to be thinking of preparing for the next day the night before and it just makes you feel like your on a never ending train. Live in the present a bit.
Improve your diet but don't deny yourself anything. Eat how and when you want. I just graze on raw vegetables and fruits during the day and get my protein intake as and when and then eat whatever when I'm hungry later. It does take the pressure off meal planning. My kids often eat like me too. We have lots of fresh stuff in but I don't worry about knocking up elaborate meals. I really like Buddha bowls for this.
Do you enjoy reading. It's a great way to allow your brain to focus on something easy and block out the noise.
Have a look at sound baths either in your local area or online. Look into music for people with ADHD too. There is music/sounds that reset your nervous system and take you out of fight and flight. You need to try get your adrenaline down and bring yourself out of survival mode. You can't fully heal until your body stops running like that. You can essentially get stuck in fight and flight for months or years. It's not woo. This is real stuff. Your body is storing all the negative energy and experience and stress and you need to help it get rid of it on a physiological level.
Get some decent vitamins with vit d included.
Don't book holidays away just now. I know it seems crazy because you do need a holiday but you need to try reduce your workload and slow your life and body down. I find having a holiday coming up gets me all worked up about the prep. At the moment you need to concentrate on peace.
Get some good oils and spend time giving yourself a massage. Especially on the face and neck to drain away tension. The best ones for peace and clarity are vetiver, frankincense and clary sage. Avoid lavender as it's actually a stimulant in certain amounts.
Buy some staple clothing if you can afford it. Stuff that you can mix and match and all goes together and is easy. Think about your shape and Google the right fit for your body. This make washing and getting ready easy and stress free.

Basically reduce as much of your time and life as is possible.
Hope some of this helps.

Also stop watching the news and reduce social media use.

What the pp said is exactly what I would have said (but much clearer than I could manage!)

You will feel more normal one day but it takes time and patience. Don’t try to hurry it or you’ll end up taking even longer.

My breakdown was in my early thirties due to intense grief and stress. It took months to feel even slightly better and years before the fragility vanished (although it did lessen in degrees prior to that) but eventually I got my life back.

Take care x

Thank you, the replies have all been so helpful.

I'm not sure what kind of therapy it was to be honest, I think it was CBT as the therapist was quite dismissive and would just want to challenge my thoughts all the time, but that wasn't what I needed. Maybe I'll look into something else.

I have a pretty stripped back life already. I have quiet evenings most days, and quiet weeks quite a lot. It's the weekday mornings where I struggle the most, I have such a deep sense of dread and panic, it feels like a gust of wind could knock me over. I leave the house at 7:30am most mornings to get to my lectures on time and even though that's not particularly early I really struggle with it

Not has a good morning today. I was supposed to have a full day of lectures and seminars. It couldn’t stop crying when getting ready and on my way there, so I turned around and came home. This is exactly how my breakdown started before, so I’m feeling worried I’m going down that path again despite using all my effort to turn my life around

Sorry to hear you have had a tough morning.
You know recovery and healing is not linear. It's ok to need to take more time off. I understand it will affect your studies but you are more important and you have a long life ahead to do whatever it is you need and want in terms of career. This is just a small bump in the road in the grand scheme of your life. Just because you have taken time off during the initial stages of your illness does not mean that's it and you can't now need more time. You don't need permission op and if you feel you do then I'm giving you that permission. It's not a failure to take a break from work and study it's actually the opposite. It takes a strong person to be able to hold boundaries for their health and wellbeing.

Yes it is possible. I basically had a nervous breakdown and it took about 3/4 years to recover 70% and I would say I am better now. I did an awful lot of self help reading. I picked the things I needed to work on and I really worked on them. It was unbelievably tough but very much worth it. I am a completely different person now as I am very at peace with who that person is. I lost a lot of family and friends but I would go so far to say that my family caused me to have the breakdown so ultimately in order to protect myself it was necessary to lose them. I have amazing people around me now and I am in so much a better place. I think the main learning for me in my recovery was taking responsibility for myself and my own happiness if that makes any sense. I was not responsible for what had happened to me but I was responsible for recovering from it. Sorry that probably sounds waffley but hopefully it makes some sense.