Shall I tell his wife?

[NerdyGirl79]

I've got a bit of a dilemma here and I've been mulling it over as unsure of what to do.

So I have a close male friend. We've known each other a long time. He's married and so am I, but we do have a history together from years ago, but that's irrelevant.

We normally chat via text about 2-3 times a week and have done for years. My husband also knows of him, he sees the chats and he's all fine with it. Anyway, a few weeks ago, my friend told me that we should stop talking because he feels like he needs to be a better person and he gives me a lot of compliments so that needs to stop. Fair enough, I'm a bit hurt by that as we've been good friends for so long.

The next day, I hopped onto his Instagram following list as I was looking for a mutual friend and I noticed he started following tons of sexy instagram models. No issue, I don't really care about that. Then he starts liking practically every photo they all post, and has started commenting really sleazy things on some of them, especially one young busty girl in particular.

I decided to send him a quick message to remind him that those likes of his on the pics are public.. his family and a lot of our friends follow him and there's a chance they could see it, I tried to word it delicately. He immediately got angry at me for the first time ever. We've known each other nearly 20 years and never once has he been angry with me, so it was very out of character. He told me that sometimes he may decide to do something that gives others the ick, but he doesn't care.

Okay fine, his choice. Not really any concern of mine. But I've noticed so many more comments now telling this one young girl in particular how he wants to marry her, how gorgeous he is, sending fire and heart emojis etc. It actually makes me feel so angry at him because he has a very devoted wife and two small children. And also the fact that he started doing this a day after telling me he can't talk to me anymore because he needs to be loyal to his wife (even though we hadn't done anything, it's just the history between us).

I really feel like I need to bring it to his wife's attention. But I'm conflicted.. its a public platform so it's not like anyone is snooping on him etc. Should I tell his wife? I think if I do, I'd rather do it anonymously because if he was angry at me weeks ago for merely mentioning it to him, he would probably cut me off completely.

What are your thoughts??

I think you need to concern yourself with your own marriage and in future stop texting married men all week.

Was he doing this before he backed off but you simply hadn't noticed?

Don't tell the wife, you'll be the one who ends up getting burnt. Walk away and leave him to his silly games own devices.

Agreed you sound jealous he’s no longer giving you attention. Take a massive step back and concentrate on your own marriage.

I’d say stop stalking him on Instagram and definitely do not contact his wife.

But there's no function on Instagram which allows to see what a person has like or commented unless either you are following also following the sexy model accounts and it comes up in your feed, or you've gone on to each of these accounts to look.

Which did you do?

considering similar threads on this type of situation its either the messenger has ulterior motives, they just want to break up the relationship or they already know x but want the relationship etc.

You sound jealous and that you want him to say those things to you instead.

Definitely do not tell his wife - it's all public! She knows already, and maybe is fine with it, either way it's none of your business.

I think you have to question your own motives for wanting to tell his wife. It's not like he's done anything seriously bad like had an affair, the comments are all in the open and there's no reason to tell her.

I'm sorry OP but you sound jealous that he's stopped speaking to you.

Bin him. Say nothing to his wife