Pressure to drink alcohol, incl from management

[Bumblebeelane]

I'm finding the pressure to drink alcohol in social work situations ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I hold my own and the fact people try various way to get me to drink makes me utterly determined to stick to my guns.

I do drink alcohol, but I choose to only drink occasionally and when I'm with close friends etc.

I turn down lots of work social gatherings purely because of the pressure, including from those in charge, to drink. (This is for days leading up to the event ). There is no HR to direct concerns to and it isn't a cooperation type company. A smallish employer type business. There are a couple of younger colleagues who don't drink and they get the 'oh how boring' "banter" thrown their way.

There is no one senior to raise it with that would want to hear it - they dish out the "are you going to drink this time" crap too. I'm getting to the stage where although I love the job, the manipulation of colleagues is making me want to leave because I feel they are being unreasonable at best. Even stating your missing a work do is a whole thing about why your not going. Complaining will only make me become more of an outcast. I'm looking for other work.

Anyone suffered similar pressure? What did you do?

Ugh no words apart from I’m sorry you’re in such an immature place.

It sounds very uncomfortable and immature on their parts. Stick to your convictions and don't give in for a quiet life.
I can be pretty immature myself, I would look up all the statistics on alcohol and health outcomes and respond with that.

What about having a chat to occupational health? This is really not good for the whole organisation.

No occupational health or HR. It's a small business (25 employees). Unless there is a employment law that I should have access to occupational health via an external organisation? Not sure on that, will need to check.

I have a friend in a similar situation, she just says she has a genetic flaw in her liver that means she has to be very careful with alcohol. Works a treat!

It's disgusting. Also many people don't drink for religious / faith reasons and many are in recovery from addiction these days. So it's also a very small minded and prejudiced way for an organisation to lean towards drinking culture.

Stick to your guns, hold your own, and think about how to shift to a more healthy environment.

Accept a glass of wine and carry it around all night

Buy your own soft drink at the bar and pretend there's gin in the glass

Tell them you're on medication

Offer them a lift home. They won't moan about you not drinking if it saves them a taxi fare

Of course, none of this should be necessary, but these are strategies I've used in the past

My boss buys a coke and carts it around all night saying that it's a short. People really don't notice.

Another says he's driving, quite a lot do that. You can't push someone into drink driving.

Elderflower cordial in a wine glass!

Good tips. I've used most but got to the stage where I was sick of having to fake it so to speak.

Back in the 1980s, when out with boozy friends who had the same boring attitude to non-drinkers, I used to arrange with the bar staff to serve me low alcohol beer in the same glasses as they normally used for the extra strength beer, and a glass of bacardi and coke "without the bacardi".

Worked a treat until a jealous woman complained to management that the bar staff were my personal friends and weren't charging me the correct price for my alcoholic drinks.

Once it became common knowledge that I didn't like to get drunk far too many male people started pestering me with offers of drinks. They seemed to think I was some kind of sheltered religious young thing, new to the big city, with horizons desperately in need of broadening, by them.

After refusing politely umpteen times I lost my patience and announced that if the pushiest one really insisted, then I'd have a triple shot of whichever whisky was most expensive. Since a group of people were listening and followed him to the bar he had to spend a lot of money on buying me the drink he'd been trying to push on me all evening.

When he handed me the glass I downed the ruinously expensive liquid (this was in Stockholm in the 1980s) in one unappreciative gulp, without so much as blinking, (not at all difficult considering the amount of whisky I'd put away back in the UK while busy misspending my youth). Then I thanked him politely and changed the subject. Everyone who had been expecting that "librarian takes off her glasses and unpins her strict bun before shaking out her hair and dancing on the table moment" was disappointed, but nobody in that group ever mithered me to drink again.

God this behaviour is tiresome! I just say alcohol doesn't agree with me, I'm doing dry January/health kick, or I'm driving, or I'm on call (Ill family member needing last minute hospital dash or work) - these work for the majority of the time.

It would be much more helpful if people didn't push, but there is definitely a group who take your personal decision to abstain as a public judgement on their alcohol consumption!

I am sorry this is happening to you. I am two years Af. I was the life and soul of any drinking occasion. Last woman standing but I never pushed drink on anyone. Now if soneone asks me to drink I actually say oh I'm a nasty drunk. I sing, dance, fall over and am likely to be sick. Oh and I only drink champagne. It soon shuts them up.
You can say I don't drink it doesn't like me and it's better you don't see the fall out. A few years ago I went to work in an office with a bar, it nearly killed me. Order a faux gin, they are just as nice. Good luck.

I always drive on the odd occasion I go out so not an issue for me but I used to know a lady who didn't drink and I overheard someone trying to push a drink onto her and she said ' I'm really sorry you can't enjoy yourself without alcohol, would you like me to help you with that?" Loved her for that and they left her alone.