What to do about music group

[Harriettie]

A while ago I joined a small music group, it was a lovely group of people and we had a great dynamic. Recently the group has expanded and several others have joined. I joined right at the beginning when there was just the founder and myself.

Although the recent people are all very nice, it’s now a very different vibe and as you’d expect personalities differ and some people are over shadowed. Yesterday, we put on a concert, it went well and we had great feedback from the audience.

afterwards we were all thanked by the founder for our hard work and a special thanks was given to one of the newest member for leading the group.

I do like this person, we are similar standard but she is outspoken and can be quite bossy in rehearsals.

I feel a bit meh about it as I’ve been there much longer. I no longer want to contribute vocally in rehearsals when we discuss repertoire or technicalities of the performance.

on the one hand I don’t want to leave as this is my ‘thing’ but on the other hand it was much better before when it was just the 5 of us as it was a lot more fun.

What should I do? There’s not another group locally as it’s quite niche.

I’m afraid this sort of evolution is sadly inevitable! Whether your priority is your own musical progress, or socialising with like minded people, it’s up to you to create the circumstances in which you will thrive.

There’s absolutely no reason why your playing should be restricted to this one single group. I would begin to look further afield for other opportunities. And at the same time put out some feelers and consider forming a different group - with either a wider or a more specific remit.

I think it's just how things are.

I had the same experience with a choir. I've always loved singing in choirs, ever since I was a little kid, and it's rare that I've not been involved with a choir at any time.

Anyway, I joined a choir back in about 2015. At that point it seemed like it was on the up and up. It was attached to the local music service, and they were very proudly dining out on the fact that they'd very recently done back-up vocals for Russell Watson, the singer, when he ws on tour at our local theatre. There was a great, really knowledgeable conductor, good group of people etc.
Then the conductor, who was an older gent, decided to retire, and another bloke took over. Younger, but just as good. Loved singing with him.
Then COVID hit.
After all that, the conductor decided to stop, and the lad who'd been our (very good) pianist stepped up. Very young lad, maybe 22/23. And although very knowledgeable, just didn't have the personality and leadership skills to run a choir of much older adults. The repertoire he was choosing was really dull, and he kept giving us "pieces" written by a member of the choir who fancied himself as a composer. These pieces were even worse. Tuneless dirges based on random old poetry and random women.

It was getting to the point, where instead of thinking "Yay! It's choir tonight!" I was thinking, "Oh, it's choir tonight."

I wasn't enjoying it any more. It also wasn't helped that I ended up being ill for the last two concerts we put on. So I was doing weeks of work and rehearsals, and then not getting to do the concerts. So I quit. Pretty simple really OP! If it's got enough value that you're still enjoying it, then stay. If it's become an irritating chore, then stop.