Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I being OTT about this?

20 replies

heatwavesinwinter · 13/01/2024 23:43

Hi!

just want to start off by saying I fully accept I may be being UR or OTT here, just really wanted to gauge some other opinions on this. I’ll hold my hands up and admit I can be totally neurotic and scared to break the law in any way, because I had a pretty horrendous childhood with my parents so I can be OTT at times but I don’t inflict my anxieties on others but equally my anxieties can often colour my view on things

I’m going to try and keep this anonymous in case it ends up outing, but basically we were at an event and I had agreed I would drive back home afterwards as I don’t drink, and it meant the others could drink. We live in Scotland where the drink driving rules are much stricter I believe than in other parts of the uk and you basically can’t have anything and drive afterwards. All was fine, I drove and parked up outside the house. The family member in question is often the driver normally IYSWIM and it’s his car. We went in the house and he asked for the keys (I assumed to hang up) but he said I’m going to move the car as it was sticking out a bit too much. (It wasn’t awful but could do with being moved a wee tiny bit) I immediately said you can’t drive as you’ve been drinking and it ended up in a bit of an argument. He was saying it’s fine as it’s only moving the car, but I was arguing that you can’t possibly get behind the wheel of the car intoxicated as even turning on the engine is an offence let alone moving the car

was I being UR to be so cross? I absolutely detest drink drivers, I think it’s such a scummy thing to do and should be 0 tolerance to it. But his argument was that it’s not the same as actually driving the car, and that it’s only adjusting the parking position. For what it’s worth, we live in a culdesac in a quiet new build estate and it was 11pm so not like it was a busy Main Street etc, but surely it’s still the same principle and it’s drink driving?

i moved the car for him and it was fine, we’ve made up and moved on but I still feel so cross by it as drink driving is something I utterly detest. When I say we argued, it wasn’t a full blown argument with raised voices etc, he was just adamant I was being OTT and I was adamant he was breaking the law. The weird thing is he hates drink drivers too and is usually never the type of person to get into trouble or break the law in anyway.

was I being OTT for being so annoyed about it? I know I’m right in the sense that it’s illegal but was I being dramatic by being so cross about him wanting to do it? And am I being OTT to still be unhappy that he would even have considered it was ok? He wasn’t flat out drunk but was definitely intoxicated -roughly 4 glasses of red wine with food, he could easily walk in a straight line but the law is clear it’s 0 tolerance (as it should be!) and although it was a completely quiet street, and although it’s not like he was driving a journey, it’s still completely unacceptable isn’t it?

if you had a family member or someone close to you who tried to do this, would you be cross and think badly of them for it?

OP posts:
Testina · 13/01/2024 23:49

Do you mean something like you’d parked 8 inches from the curb and he wanted to drive it forward a metre, then reversed it back so it was only 4 inches away?

I’m a stickler for the law (more so than average based on family and friends) and I disagree with drinking and driving. In such a scenario, I’d be insistent and take the keys.

But I think - if it’s the sort of scenario I e described - you’re being utterly OTT about, being annoyed, and still thinking about it.

That’s not because you’re wrong, but because you can be right and something is so little risk that it’s ridiculous to get so annoyed about it.

AngelicInnocent · 13/01/2024 23:50

If they genuinely were just moving the car position (1 car length forward to reverse back at a different angle for example), then unless they were really drunk, then yes OTT. If they had to go around the block or something, then no, not OTT.

Hiddenvoice · 13/01/2024 23:50

I live in Scotland and no I wouldn’t have let him move the car either. He may not have been drunk but could have easily misjudged something and bumped his car. If it was a quiet street then surely the car would have been fine where it was?
I would let it go though, it wouldn’t impact my opinion of them and since you’ve made it, I’d move on from it.

RunningFromInsanity · 13/01/2024 23:51

If there is something you are going to be OTT about, drunk driving is an acceptable one in my opinion.

TheLogicalSong · 13/01/2024 23:53

Assuming you were not on private land, although unlikely, in theory the police could come round the corner and breathalyse him, so I wouldn't have been happy about him getting behind the wheel.

2chocolateoranges · 13/01/2024 23:56

YANBU I wouldn’t have let him move the car either. There was no need for him to get behind the wheel!

KissMyArt · 14/01/2024 00:00

I think YANBU that you insisted you did it instead.

But YABU for the huge long explanation of the whole thing.

That does make you sound a bit OTT which makes me wonder if you were OTT at the time/during the conversation too?

NotAllowed · 14/01/2024 00:05

I personally don’t see the issue with moving a car after a drink. The verbose way in which you described what happened is OTT.

heatwavesinwinter · 14/01/2024 00:07

Ah thanks, good to get some outside opinions on it! I’m a total worrier but I really try not to let it affect me being OTT about things but it doesn’t always work.

I think he was going to move the car to the top of the culdesac which isn’t actually far at all (10 houses long- something like that) because there’s a turning place and then turn it round and repark because that’s what we usually do whenever we’re not happy with how we’ve parked up x

OP posts:
heatwavesinwinter · 14/01/2024 00:08

NotAllowed · 14/01/2024 00:05

I personally don’t see the issue with moving a car after a drink. The verbose way in which you described what happened is OTT.

It wasn’t ‘a drink’ though, it was 4, which is unequivocally against the law x

OP posts:
heatwavesinwinter · 14/01/2024 00:10

KissMyArt · 14/01/2024 00:00

I think YANBU that you insisted you did it instead.

But YABU for the huge long explanation of the whole thing.

That does make you sound a bit OTT which makes me wonder if you were OTT at the time/during the conversation too?

Haha that made me smile (In a good way!) I’ve always been terrible at writing succinctly and summarising things! X

OP posts:
HerbalBovril · 14/01/2024 00:12

An ex of mine was arrested for just sitting in the car with the engine on in order to use the heater after having a few drinks. Sometimes it’s just better to be safe than sorry 🙂

JMSA · 14/01/2024 00:13

Yes, you were. And more OTT still to be dwelling on it.
Sorry.

heatwavesinwinter · 14/01/2024 00:16

JMSA · 14/01/2024 00:13

Yes, you were. And more OTT still to be dwelling on it.
Sorry.

No please don’t be sorry! I asked for other people’s opinions at the end of the day, even if it was that I’m being UR. thanks 👍🏻

OP posts:
Bature · 14/01/2024 00:16

You seem incredibly wound up about this. The post is written in such a roundabout verbose agitated style that I suspect you were being OTT. You would probably benefit from
calming down.

Plexie · 14/01/2024 00:18

I don't know the law in Scotland but in England it's an offence to be drunk in charge of a motor vehicle, you don't have to be driving it.

Your latest post sounds like he did intend to drive, not just manoeuvre in the existing parking space (which would probably count as driving anyway). It's unlikely that the police would be passing at the time, but if he had driven and something serious happened which necessitated getting the police involved, they might have breathalysed him. Not worth the risk, and what's the point of you not drinking and being the designated driver if he buggers it up by unnecessarily moving the car?

friggingnora · 14/01/2024 00:21

If it was just adjusting the position of the car - you were a bit OTT.

Driving along the road past 10 houses and turning at the end of a cul-de-sac. Absolutely not OTT. That's incredibly risky and he could easily bump a car or something. That is drink driving.

itsmylife7 · 14/01/2024 00:21

He or she WAS intending to drive whilst under the influence of alcohol.

I'm on your side OP.

SouthEastCoast · 14/01/2024 00:22

Drink driving is drunk driving even if it’s just moving the car a few feet. I’m surprised how many seek to think otherwise.
must illegal to just be in the drivers seat with the keys when drunk.
YANBU

heatwavesinwinter · 14/01/2024 09:27

Thanks for all the opinions. Always good to get some outside perspective on things x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page