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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go to the shops at 10pm?

27 replies

Vaselinevaseline · 13/01/2024 23:36

Dd asked me for pink vaseline. I sell it at my store . I said yes, tomorrow at work.
So today comes. Dh asked me for some thing from a different shop next door. I said might not get time. So he said he would go to Asda. Dd went with him.
I was then requested to get another thing for ds as I was coming home. At 10pm. Stayed late and went to dinner with a friend. Note, I started at 8 this morning.
So I ended up going to get ds stuff. And extras then requested by dh as he didnt get it at asda. As I was going anyway, rather than getting it at work, plus it's cheaper next door, I decided to get DS vaseline there.
However, they didnt have her thing next door. So I offered alternatives. Apparently not good enough. Argument ensued, I said alternative or nothing. She said nothing. So i got nothing. She asked me to go to another shop on the way home. On a motorway! I said no. Nothing in the town I work in was open. By the time I would have got to my town, everything was closed anyway.
Cue massive argument when I get home at half ten cos she didnt get her vaseline.
She now wants me to go to the 24 hour shop to get it. Been called lazy, a bitch, shes been ranting for at least 1/2 hour. She said I shouldnt have children if I am not capable of raising them, that I am prolonging her suffering.
Note... we have, within easy reach of where I am sitting, 2 elf lip balms, 3 carmex, a green vaseline tub, two nivea lip balm sticks. Plus lip oils.
But I has to be the PINK vaseline. Apparently the others dont work. And her lips are chapped NOW. And she cant use them temporarily until tomorrow.
Dh has also offered to get it in the am.
AIBU to not go?

OP posts:
Original poster
Vaselinevaseline · 13/01/2024 23:39

As she said she she has been suffering all day , I asked why she didnt get it when they went to asda. She said she thought as i got a discount it would be better for me to get it. Fair enough. So it's ok for her tot think about saving money, but when my logic is saving money - get it next door - it's not!

OP posts:
Amigoingmad29weeks · 13/01/2024 23:40

She wouldn't be getting it in the morning either from me.... not without an apology for how she spoke to me.

Original poster
Vaselinevaseline · 13/01/2024 23:49

Quite. I tried. Unfortunately they didnt have any. Ok I made a mistake. Offered alternatives. Sorry about that, that's life.

Dh is now offering to take her out. I SHOWED him the alternatives. He has said he doesnt mind. I told him he is maki g the wrong call. He them told her he would be happy to take her as long as it didnt annoy me. So again, putting the blame on me!! So obviously I cant say no.

So he is now taking her. Ffs.

OP posts:
Clafoutie · 14/01/2024 00:07

This is an appalling way for you to be spoken to, and treated OP. I am sorry you’ve been put through this, and that your DH is not backing you up. 😮

ErrolTheDragon · 14/01/2024 00:09

Confusedhow old is she? Is this spoilt rude behavior normal for her?

WagWoofWalkMeeoow · 14/01/2024 00:12

How old are your kids?

did male format hear what she had said to you?

with that mouth she'd be walking to get her own bloody PINK Vaseline.

do they all see you as the fucking shopping channel?

TheOriginalFrench · 14/01/2024 00:28

Sorry to be blunt but your daughter sounds horribly spoilt, @Vaselinevaseline. How have you and your husband allowed this to develop?

Why does she need so many pointless products? Unless she has a specific health issue (which would require prescribed medication) the quickest way to improve dry lips is by improving her diet and not using harsh chemicals on her face. More vegetables, less petroleum.

And you need to say a firm ‘No’ much more often. You’re not your child’s slave.

Original poster
Vaselinevaseline · 14/01/2024 00:28

Shopping channel has me giggling. Literally l. I work next to a supermarket fair enough, I dont mind popping in. But every day?? When all of them have been sitting all day in the house doing sod all? Absolutely not. They have a car and legs. It is a habit I am trying to break them of!

Dd is 13. And yes, she is spoilt by DH. I say no more often so I am always, always the bad guy.

I am pissed off at DH too for rewarding this ridiculous behaviour.

OP posts:
Original poster
Vaselinevaseline · 14/01/2024 00:31

TheOriginalFrench · 14/01/2024 00:28

Sorry to be blunt but your daughter sounds horribly spoilt, @Vaselinevaseline. How have you and your husband allowed this to develop?

Why does she need so many pointless products? Unless she has a specific health issue (which would require prescribed medication) the quickest way to improve dry lips is by improving her diet and not using harsh chemicals on her face. More vegetables, less petroleum.

And you need to say a firm ‘No’ much more often. You’re not your child’s slave.

I DID say no. I went to get it when iw as otherwise getting things. Didnt have it. This alternative or nothing? Oh but I want this. Right, but they dont have it, so nothing then? Okay. Nothing it is then. Can you go to another shop? No.
How is that not saying no?

Dh was the one who undermined me by then going out!

OP posts:
Vettrianofan · 14/01/2024 00:32

All this over a tin of vaseline? Seriously?

Original poster
Vaselinevaseline · 14/01/2024 00:37

And the "pointless products" were alternatives offered that I happened to have in the house. In my line of work we get a lot of samples and freebies. So not even bought. Just offered to fix her problem. And one of the reasons I was saying no to going out again! We dont need any more lip care!

And he diet is fine, she is very healthy. She has a cold coming on, hence the dry lips. Apparently the others "dont work" which is why she was requesting the specific vaseline. What she failed to tell me about the green tub is that it irritates her and hurts. I didnt know this as she has never mentioned it, hence me going um...alternatives anyone?!

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 14/01/2024 00:38

YANBU

I would do nothing until she apologised for calling you names and shouting at you.

mrsbyers · 14/01/2024 00:43

I’m hoping they don’t have any pink Vaseline when she gets there

Renamed · 14/01/2024 01:22

I hope the product is discontinued permanently

Spomsored · 14/01/2024 01:40

I'm probably missing the point here but how much does vaseline cost? If she was in such desperate need why wouldn't she just have got her father to buy it when they were shopping earlier?

I can't believe your DH is rewarding her totally unacceptable behaviour. Teenagers can struggle to moderate their emotions but parents need to work together to set boundaries

Bouncyball23 · 14/01/2024 02:16

She's spoilt and rude and you only have yourself and dh to thank for that.

Flatandhappy · 14/01/2024 02:21

She sounds like an absolute brat enabled by her father. I would find it hard to be civil to either of them.

randomuser2020 · 14/01/2024 02:22

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

RantyAnty · 14/01/2024 02:45

It was wrong for her to call you names

Notice how you managed to get all the things the males in your house asked you to get for them but somehow you couldn't manage to get the one thing she asked you for.

Why is that?

WriterOfWrongs · 14/01/2024 02:48

RantyAnty · 14/01/2024 02:45

It was wrong for her to call you names

Notice how you managed to get all the things the males in your house asked you to get for them but somehow you couldn't manage to get the one thing she asked you for.

Why is that?

Because it wasn’t available in the shop?
Hmm

FictionalCharacter · 14/01/2024 04:12

Put a stop to this now. Tell DH that he is making her into a spoilt brat. Tell both of them that you won’t be spoken to like that. Don’t buy things for any of them unless you’re already planning to go to the shops. You’re not their servant, tell them so.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 14/01/2024 04:17

Surely you know the answer to this without consulting MN? She could whistle for her pink vaseline, or anything else, if she spoke to me like that. Your DH is just enabling her bratty behaviour.

WandaWonder · 14/01/2024 04:28

RantyAnty · 14/01/2024 02:45

It was wrong for her to call you names

Notice how you managed to get all the things the males in your house asked you to get for them but somehow you couldn't manage to get the one thing she asked you for.

Why is that?

Because they all (except the daughter) had a secret meeting to see how they could use deliberately miss the female items, for their secret cult whose main leader is a buffalo wearing sheep's clothing

Or because it wasn't there?

homezookeeper · 14/01/2024 04:30

Solidarity. My almost 12 year old is the same. It's always down to specifics and nothing you suggest as a viable alternative is acceptable. You try for them and still get a kick in the teeth. You can't win.

TooFondOfBooks · 14/01/2024 04:46

Could the mysterious heretofore unmentioned issue with the green Vaseline not, in fact, be a [sudden] sensitivity to aloe but more the fact it doesn’t tint your lips pink? Ditto the uselessness of the rest of the products - perhaps particularly if her school have a no make-up rule that she believes she has found a genius way to subvert [with her friends].

Your DH’s behaviour was almost worse than your DD’s - because she was behaving unpleasantly, but is at least a hormone-addled teen of underdeveloped brain. Your DH, however, is long past that age & neurodevelopmental stage, but for some reason decided to essentially tell your DD that her behaviour was not only acceptable but wholly correct & you were completely in the wrong.

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