Dog

[Libertysparkle]

A family member got a dog in lockdown. It's a lovely dog but they don't take in consideration my daughters fear of dogs or nephews.

When it was a puppy we let it come to our house but had to be away from the kids etc.

But now it comes everytime and everywhere.

My husband thinks its fine. Today they even brushed their dog where we would be eating. Why? Just why?

You set your boundaries letting the dog over when it was a puppy.

what did the owner say when you told them not to brush their dog in your house?

If you've never told them you don't want them to bring the dog over and have previously agreed to the dog coming I can see why they think it's ok. I think you'll need to raise it with them if you want anything to change. The hair brushing is a bit rogue, I would have just made a joke at the time about that being where you eat. Good luck!

Why haven’t you said something? It’s not hard to speak up.

If I wanted a dog I would get a dog even if a child in my family had a fear of dogs (and nephews) because I would assume that the child would become used to the dog over time and wouldn't be scared of it.

We didn't say anything I was just too shocked!

For context when a puppy we asked for it to be in a crate while we ate. We requested this at christmas but we were told they don't use crate anymore. Husband won't say anything as it's his family. It's kept on its lead in our house. But don't see why it can't be left at home for a few hours. Both owner and dog have separation issues (from each other)

Because its not my family and I don't want to cause an argument. I know I need a backbone

We just didn't think it would come everytime. I've never known other people with dogs to just bring them to every occasion

You do need one.

It’s your home. TELL your husband if you aren’t okay with this. His family so he has a word. No need to be a doormat.

Why did you let the dog come when he/she was a puppy?

Because it was young and we didn't like the thought of a young dog on its own. Midst covid we wanted to see family when we could

Why are your dc frightened of ddogs? The world is full of them. Better to sort this out while they are still young. At 2 yo my dd had an over zealous spaniel knock her over. She once pulled out of my hand and nearly ran into the road away from me. We got a dpuppy. Solved everything..

We went to cynophobia classes for this reason. She is a lot better but she is very wary. Ironically she really wants a dog. But in laws have really put me off having one cos I wouldn't want to take it every where like they do

Well it’s not a puppy now. This is your home. Just tell them you don’t want the dog to visit, or tell them if they do bring it, they need to crate it or otherwise keep it separate.
I have dogs. A scared niece did not stop me getting a dog, but I would not take the dogs to her home, and they can be kept to their own part of our house if visitors need it (but only for visitors who I like and invite 😁)

Maybe I should get a cat like I want to. I do like dogs by the way.

I'm allergic to dog dander, even the supposedly non allergenic breeds so I have no desire to be anywhere near them. If I wasn't allergic I'd happily allow other peoples dogs in my home & do my best to help children overcome their fears.

I too am scared of nephews.

A family member got a dog in lockdown. It's a lovely dog but they don't take in consideration my daughters fear of dogs

Why would they? She's your daughter, not theirs.

We didn't say anything I was just too shocked!

We just didn't think it would come everytime. I've never known other people with dogs to just bring them to every occasion

Your relatives are not bloody mind-readers! You can't just assume that they'll magically know you are not OK with something that you have, up until now, given every indication that you are OK with.

The only problem here is the fact that you and your husband are incapable of saying 'You'll need to leave the dog at home now'.

This is like being scared to tell someone you're vegetarian, and then complaining that they keep serving you steak for dinner.

Were you bitten by a nephew when you were a child?

I brush my nephew where I eat and I’ve never been ill

You think they should have asked your permission before getting their dog??
You've allowed it in up until now, which is good in helping overcome your DDs fears, I imagine it's not as lively as it was as a puppy.
Sounds like your looking for issues where there doenst need to be any.

If you like dogs, a cat is not an adequate substitute.

Only get a cat if you like cats.