Unreasonable neighbours noise issues or it me?

[fifi1988]

I really need some advice as I’m at the end of my tether and don’t know what to do? We have owned our current home for over 8 years, it’s a terraced house! I don’t see this being our forever home but we can’t afford to move just yet.

For the past two years our next door neighbours have complained about the noise we make as a family. We are only a family of three, have a young son age 8 . To be clear no one gets up before 7. Son is in bed most nights by 8. He’s at school all day! We never have wild parties or anything - we ourselves go to bed by 10.30 most nights! We’re a family that like to get out and about and do things so we are out and away a lot at weekends! However any time my child has a play date at our house they moan or thump on the walls, if ( as boys can do) - son is occasionally a little thumpy on the stairs they will bang on the wall. Last weekend my son had a friend round and they were not noisy at all. The only thing they did was have a race up the stairs. At 4.30 pm. And the wife came over and had a mad rant on my doorstep for around twenty minutes about the noise! It got quite threatening as she mentioned her husband was going to come round and go mad. The husband I am
scared of as he has been intimidating towards us in the past with various threats and comments. He’s that type- has something to say about everyone!! But also quite happy to wake the whole street up by shouting out the window at someone walking past at 3am. I could go on…
it’s got to the point where we’re scared to have people over as don’t want another confrontation. I’ve kept a detailed diary and have spoken to a friends husband that is a lawyer but I don’t think there is much we can do?
Any suggestions? Am
i being unreasonable? Should I stop play dates and tell my son to tiptoe on the stairs? I just want a quiet life and to not feel uncomfortable in my own home! I want my child to have friends over and not feel that the neighbours will start knocking . It seems anytime we leave the house they are looking out the window and the same when we come back. I’m constantly on edge. They also never leave the house and very rarely have anyone round. Grandkids used to come over occasionally but not been seen for months? Help!!!! Is it me?

@WeightoftheWorld this the bit I read:

However any time my child has a play date at our house they moan or thump on the walls, if ( as boys can do)

It's very hard to comment on these type of threads without hearing the other side of the story, Some people genuinely don't realise just how noisy they are, or how regularly the noise impacts on their neighbours.
And, of course, some people are just totally intolerant and complain about the slightest noise.
But advising the OP to just ignore the neighbours, when you're not actually there yourself, is unfair. I agree she should ask to go around when her child has friends in to get an idea of the noise,

However any time my child has a play date at our house they moan or thump on the walls, if ( as boys can do) - son is occasionally a little thumpy on the stairs they will bang on the wall.

You cut off the rest. Though, I think it would have been clearer as two sentences.
However any time my child has a play date at our house they moan or thump on the walls. If ( as boys can do) - son is occasionally a little thumpy on the stairs they will bang on the wall. is how I read it.

This.

Don't engage.

Invite her to report you to the council.

What you describe is daily life noise, and children are an unenforceable noise nuisance (ie expected to make noise).

Ergo, you're doing nothing wrong and tell the neighbour if they have an issue they need to approach environmental health as you will not be entertaining these complaints any more. EH will put them in their place.

Ok maybe I misread it. If it's the neighbours banging on the walls then that's a bit out of order.

I might be a bit biased on this thread as until recently we had very noisy twin boys living next door to us. They used to stand in the windowsill of the bedroom bay window and slam their palms on it repeatedly. And then there was the high pitched shrieking all the time. Fuck knows what the parents were doing as they seemed to make no effort to get the kids to keep the noise down. They've moved out now and the house is empty but I'm dreading who we get in next in case they're worse.

If I felt they were being unreasonable and serial moaners about ordinary life noise (hard to escape in a terrace) I'd ask to listen to the noise from their side, and if they continue to moan, give them a set of noise cancelling headphones. If they persist, then I'd tell them to F off, leave me alone and go annoy someone else. Then completely ignore.

I just cannot stand the fact that some people are just out to get you for little or no reason.

No both owners !

They have actually lived here for over twenty years but the couple that lived in the house before us had no kids

It’s not my child banging on the walls it’s the next door neighbour banging when my child walks up the stairs 😃

If the main problem is the stairs, can you not just make an effort to minimise sound on the stairs then? It sounds like your stairs aren't carpeted? (you say upstairs is carpeted but don't mention if that includes the stairs or not so I'm assuming not).

If you son and friends are thundering up and down the stairs a lot and it's wooden stairs, it's going to drive your neighbours loopy. It's not just the noise but also the vibrations that will come through the wall. Letting children have races up the stairs in a terraced house is asking for noise complaints.

Have contacted council about my neighbours and their visitor last night, they talked loudly from 11.50pm until 4am, drink was involved and goodness knows what else. music started up at 1.45am and lasted until 4am. We are f*cking shattered. I am absolutely livid. Usually up 6am ourselves. Saw every hour on the clock. Selfish gits. As for you OP, doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong if you compare what I have just been through.

This is not first episode for us unfortunately that's why I am reporting it.

Yes we have done that however the issue is when
his friends come over if they make a bit too much noise on the stairs the knocking from next door starts . All good though and will just ignore and carry on with lives. I think there are other things going on from their side in their personal lives with the lack of them seeing their grandkids etc so maybe my son and his friends are triggering to them so I think we are good and we shall just try and train calm and kind 😃

It’s a terraced house. You hear neighbours noise in a terraced house that’s just the way it is. We live in a new build, in the summer you can hear everyone in their gardens. You don’t want noise from neighbours then move to an isolated house in the country.

honestly, I’d tell them to fuck off. Intimidating neighbour is almost certainly not stupid enough to do anything and if he does, press charges.

I thought you said kids were banging on the wall. Otherwise, not not unreasonable noise.

It's normal household noise. Tell them to report it to the council - they will then be told the same officially.

Have people over.
If they complain ignore
If they threatened call police
If they report you to the council they will soon find out they are being unreasonable

my stairs are carpeted as are the whole of upstairs and no shoes allowed in the house anywhere. I don’t let them race up the stairs as a rule and my child is told
to try and be quiet. Unfortunately on this occasion they were a bit thumpy. Probably my fault as I had just fed them their dinner and they had had Icecream after so a bit of a sugar rush perhaps! Im
just going to ignore and be kind and maybe pop a nice note through the door before any play dates to warn them
in advance that there will be children over 😃

Are they shift workers? Or elderly people that need naps? I fail to see why daytime stair noise is a problem.

They sound awful

Terrible advice to swear at them. Keep Calm and business like when dealing with them. Don't always open the door though.

If they get too much, report them gor aggressive behaviour.

It's I've and let live in terraced houses. We all make abit of noise even they will.

Swearing at serial moaners (having done all you can to ensure you are not a noisy neighbour), is often the only language these types of people understand eventually. I'd have no hesitation in using the F word if all else failed including being "professional" about it!

The noise you describe is totally normal for a family with kids and absolutely the kind of thing I would expect to hear in a terrace or semi. I live in a semi detached house and I hear my neighbours’ kids running around and sometimes I hear their telly/games console or a toddler tantrum. I wouldn’t dream of complaining about it because it’s just normal household noise and our houses are adjoining! It’s to be expected that you’ll hear stuff occasionally. YANBU.

You’re going to have to stand up for yourself . Stop giving them the turn of day. You all sound quite quiet to me and considerate.
you can hear all sorts in a terrace house, if they don’t like it they need to move to a detached.

Don’t warn them of play dates. They will only object to them happening.

We live in a terrace with our 10yo. The day of his last birthday party we bumped into one set of neighbours and mentioned it had happened. They just smiled and said “we wondered what the noise was”.