12 year olds being stopped and bags searched.

[Howdoidoit100]

My daughter and her friend were today stopped in a large store and told (not asked) to hand over their bags. They were absolutely terrified so just did as they were told. They hadn't put anything in their bags but one child had something in her hand that she planned to buy. The security officer then told another member of staff to take them to the tills to ensure they paid for the item in the girls hand.

At the time they were searched they were in the middle of the store still browsing (not trying to leave)

No apology or explanation was offered and one of the girls disolved in to tears after leaving. They were absolutely humiliated with everyone in this large store staring at them whilst they were searched.

Am I unreasonable to feel they were treated unfairly? At the very least I would like the security to have called me before searching them and provided an explanation of why they were being searched. I would have been able to guide the girls on what to do and perhaps made it less frightening for them.

I do understand kids do steal....I just don't like how this was handled. Not sure if I'm being over protective.

The big wide world of independence can be intimidating for a child. It doesn’t mean they should be sheltered from it.

If you teach your child to feel hard done by every time they experience something that makes them feel uncomfortable, you aren’t helping them to grow up.

It’s part of the curriculum here.

The law exists to protect children against having legal proceedings taken against them when they may not understand the questions; or are at risk of sexual harm (to use the strip search example)

There is no risk of a security guard asking to see inside a shopping bag in a public place. All that happens in low-value theft is they take the items back and escort the person out the shop. The only issue is when they refuse to show the contents of the bag willingly; because then the police are called. The initial discussion with police happens without their parents present too.

While at sixth form, ( non uniform) a few friends and I went to a local supermarket in town, we were chatting, not loud, about four of us, and we had a basket.
it was our lunch break so we couldn’t dawdle.

We all noticed this woman following us and glaring at us, had no idea who she was at the time, and just carried on.

She must have been security and trying to get us out.

She wasn’t in luck, none of us were thieves, just walking around the store to buy some things, but I do remember us looking at her and wondering what the matter with her was.

🤣🤣

It's not fair on law-abiding teenagers/children but equally it's not fair that people steal from shops and those who do pay for their shopping have to cover the losses. The options are that shops implement some security measures or that young people are not allowed into shops without an adult. I think preparing your children how to cope with various scenarios they may meet in life is only sensible.

The children should not be allowed to go into store without an adult. Fact is teenagers are the largest demographic that shoplift so you just can’t say don’t stop any teenager.

They also become more self-conscious, hate attention, and become more emotional. My daughters would have reacted the same way if this had happened to them at 12. I just hope you're more empathetic with your daughter if she doesn't grow up specifically the exact way you want her to.

The comparison was with an 8 year old. Yes, 12 year olds will be more streetwise than 8 year olds.

Kids don’t want their parents called.

These days I wouldn't be so sure. I think that you mentioned that you were a teacher. You must therefore have come across "my darling child didn't do whatever it was you said they did and I don't care if you've got thirty witnesses and CCTV of him beating Johnny Smith to a pulp and anyway he's a grass..."

One 14 year old girl around here certainly uses "I'll get my dad to see to you" as a threat and given his criminal history I could well believe it.

Bag searching aside, being forced to buy the item was not OK. They hadn't finished their shopping, the child may have decided not to buy it, or change her mind and swap it for something else, she was well within her rights to do that. As an adult I wouldn't expect to be frog marched to the checkouts and forced to pay for something when I was in the middle of the shop.

If the security guard had asked to see inside their bags as they were leaving, it would not have been an unreasonable request. However, there is no reason to bother someone while they’re still on the shop floor and he shouldn’t have marched them to the till.

@Howdoidoit100 was all this information from the 2 children? I'd be asking to speak to the store to try and get a full picture.

Were you there? Did you actually witness this?

To a scared 12 year old "could I check your bags?" And "you must show me your bags" can come across as the same, especially when being emotionally relayed to a parent.

Is this a local shop they use often? So that if her friend is actually a local, well known, shoplifter they'd be well aware of her by face and therefore confronted her before she could steal anything and that was why they also insisted she was observed paying there and then?

Or is it even possible your DD actually WAS stealing? And she's telling you a story to cover for this?

Knowing locally that security guards have been told to not even try and stop shoplifters for their own safety least they get stabbed ... I don't think the same about the guards as others here

You're a shoplifters dream you

I would just say no. I think that would force to make a citizens arrest which I could in the future bring an action dor wrongful arrest

Yeah hilarious

I don't know what the answer is necessarily but I dislike the power imbalance...and despite what some posters seem to think, very few 12 year old girls would have the confidence and ability to explain their rights and actions to an adult (I presume) man. Like I said, I'd very much like to see what their training consists of in relation to vulnerable people.

Unaccompanied children aren't even allowed in a shopping centre near my parents house at certain times.

This, 100%

Exactly.
As a pp said early on in this thread, my teens understood that some people steal, and that some people are employed to both try to prevent it and catch people who do. As such, they would happily show the security team what was in their bags and then be on their way. No need for confrontation at all.

Same as every time I go in to a stadium or arena or the theatre, I show the security team what is in my bag and go on my merry way. There is no confrontation. I've never accidently had any bombs or machetes or anything in there, so it isn't a problem, but I'm glad they check, so that it isn't a problem for anyone inside that venue.
Same with being checked on the way out of a shop. I've never stolen anything in my life, but the more people that do, the more costs rise for those of us that don't, so I' am happy to be checked as I realise that is looking after all of us and it isn't personal at all.

Let's just allow people to ignore the law, slander and intimidate members of the public without evidence, cause or authority just so they can feel important and powerful.

Why not just let them carry guns and shoot people they think may commit a crime, eh? Don't want to protect people's legal rights at the expense of mini-Hitler's egos and the all important profits of large corporations.

My dd & her friend both 15 continually get stopped in the same shop by the same security guard 🤨. Every time they have their bags searched. Even the cashiers notice the security guard circling them and pass comments on it. I am wondering whether to contact the store. The girls keep going back so I assume they are not too bothered. They do however say it is embarrassing as the guard just searches their bags in the middle of the store.

I have never been stopped and had my bag searched, I don't know if my dd just looks guilty, she is very shy and hates confrontation so they just agree
I understand that teens are more likely to shoplift it just feels a bit over the top every time.

Why not just let them carry guns and shoot people they think may commit a crime, eh?

Um, @HellsToilet , you do realise this is just looking in a bag, right?

Spot check for shoplifters. Shops do that. The other girl had put an item in her bag already, which may well have been what flagged them on CCTV.

It's very common, it's nothing to get upset about.

I was parodying the comment I was quoting.

In an ideal world children suspected of shop lifting will be taken to a room where they can wait for an appropriate adult to come, then bags can be searched - however if they haven't stolen anything it's far quicker to let the security guard check their bag. I've seen teens steal loads of stuff here, the manager told me (when I reported a certain group) that they don't bother going after them unless they have £10+ of goods (mostly it's lads stealing pastries from Lidl worth 69p!) Lidl don't have security guards here.

How about we all taught teens not steal then adults wouldn't be suspicious of them alas this is not going to happen

@HellsToilet - my apologies, I'm having a Hard Of Thinking day.

Evidently. Organised shoplifters would latch onto your idea immediately. Not all 12 yr olds are little shy things.

The only way to make that work would be to ban kids shopping alone completely.