To wash my kids once a week?

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

I have 3 DC, DS 6, DS 4 and DD 4 mths.

When my first child was born, he had eczema and sensitive skin, we live in an extremely dry climate with weather extremes, so our Dr recommended bathing once a week.

We do not have a bathtub, only a baby one we put in the shower for our daughter now. The boys have of course outgrown it.

As our other children have come along we have kind of stuck to this schedule.

We of course wash them any time it is needed, for nappy blowouts, when they are ill, if they get extremely dirty or sweaty, or if they request a shower.

But barring any of these, a weekly bath it is.

Recently I was spending some time with my sister, she commented that she needed to bath her daughter. I said oh really, I thought you only bathed her yesterday! My sister said she bathes her at least every other day.

My sister lives in a different climate than I do, we were at my parents' for a visit.

My sister was shocked when I said we only bath/shower our children weekly, and brought up that they wouldn't be used to regular showers when they hit puberty. I replied that that is a conversation we will have at that time, but for right now they aren't producing BO and there is a lot of research to suggest that excessive washing dries out the skin and depletes natural oils.

Myself and my husband shower every other day unless we have been sweating a lot.

My sister said that she thinks this is a bit 'grimy'. I'm feeling terrible now that maybe we are bringing our children up with bad hygiene habits?! I never notice them smelling bad, apart from my 6yo who is learning how to wipe, and if this occurs of course we have him shower.

We of course wash hands and face daily, as necessary.

I think twice a week would be better, have always bathed mine twice a week and will likely aim to up it to three times a week as they get older. Every day and multiple times a day is utterly ridiculous.

I feel a bit grim for only doing baths every other day for my twin 6 year olds recently, so I honestly don't understand leaving it a week. 🤯
However, I don't live in your climate, thus I don't know whether it mitigates against the need to bathe every day?
Since having an Hysterectomy in '22 and going into surgical menopause, my body odour has changed, especially in my nether regions, so shower twice a day, but only wash my curly locks twice a week.
My girls have, as above, recently only been having bath/showers every other day and, actually, their skin is less dry etc, so might just stick with this.

Absolutely foul. We all shower twice a day 1 on waking and 1 before bed. On gym days I shower after gym too (lunchtime at work). There’s no way on gods green earth I’d go to bed without a shower after a long day. No matter what country or climate I’m in. Sweat, dead skin, germs from outside, dust, makeup, wee and poop, OMG. Get in the shower use soap all over your body. Wash.

I have to agree with this. It's likely a cultural thing too. Where I live, baths (as in soaking in a tub) is not a thing but a 10-minute shower, twice a day (or at the absolute minimum, once a day) is a MUST. This applies to all ages.

Bodies produce sweat, odours, natural oils, dead skin and just general scents etc, regardless of climate, and the thought of not cleaning off those things daily is pretty unfathomable IMO.

DS6: Smelly areas washed once a day in the shower, takes three mins. Bath once or twice a week with hair wash.

Baby wipes aren’t enough and also not great for the environment.

I personally bath my 2 year old 6 nights a week. I usually leave it on a Friday give her a bath Saturday morning and then again on a Sunday night but never just once a week and I hope I never fall into this either. I like her being fresh and moisturised( couple times a week) It just wouldn’t sit right with me and never did my sister used to do the same with my niece once a week including hair wash and it cringed me out but again it’s not me or my child so I don’t need to care.

I think wipes between bathing is fine.
In a way it might be cleaner than baths as it removes the muck from the skin whereas baths just dilute the muck lol.

We bathe our 2.5yr old once a week too, and he no longer gets eczema, whereas he used to get it really badly even if we used oats in the bath and creams after bathing.

I think baths do need to get more frequent as they get older though.

Surely there are products for people with skin conditions. People don’t just abstain from washing. Ugh gross

We do this too in our household. Twice a day for everyone and extra after sports. I love a hot shower.

One pattern I've noticed on MN is how many people are IMO obsessive about washing, and never say I'm obsessive about washing but its always everyone else is grim/disgusting etc and I'm right.

I wash every day but have a very poor sense of smell so worry about smells, but my kids only wash twice a week and I think this is OK. My sister does the same and I've often asked DH if he can smell anything. I'm happy with our system.

I personally don't get the point about instilling a lifetime habit. A child's routine changes completely as they get older so it's something to deal with when needed I think. My teenager keeps himself very clean and definitely needs to shower a lot, there was that tricky transition stage as he hit puberty but once we talked about it and set routines it was fine. I'll deal with smaller two when they get a bit older.

It’s interesting that by the poll 45% of people agree with you but 95% of the comments are people calling you a dirty git! If you are so are 45% of other people & their children. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@HuckleberryBlackcurrant showering your kids once a week and only using wet wipes mean your kids will start to get bullied for the smell soon. At school if they tell the teacher they only wash once a week you might find yourself at the end of a social services equivalent referral.

I find it shocking adults not showering daily. Kids only once a week is also grim. Mine 3 and 6m have a bath every night. Why don't you? Surely the effort of wiping them down is more than just turning the shower on. It sounds like there's a general lack of personal hygiene you're passing on to your children. If you're asking about it I'd just take the opportunity now to change it and ensure your children understand the importance of washing daily. It's not too late

I am in my 40s and am sitting here after having a shower and washing my hair and my skin is on fire due to my excema. my demotoligist has told me to only shower 2 or 3 times a week. I have to slather my self in cream to have relieve. a bath is better but still the same. apologies if that's shocking to you but unfortunately if I shower every day my skin would probably be cracking and peeling.

I think it's absolutely fine. Same here. They shower at a push if needed on Wednesday, but only their bodies. Hair and body get washed on a Sunday. They smell fine and their skin is healthy. Things might change as they get older but for now, it's all good.

@Wexone

I am glad that people don't understand. It means they don't understand the pain. My skin takes about 24 hrs to recover from a shower.

We do cloth nappies so I flannel wash the bum as needed and a weekly bath. Bigger kids pre puberty are weekly unless they need it. I have a child who soils so he baths when he does that so may be more frequently than weekly. Myself I'm every 2-3 days.

I've found post puberty the more you wash the more you need to

OK, so this thread has been fascinating reading. Lots of different opinions.
First, the AIBU question.... well, I think that its more usual and a good habit to wash them more and definitely not wait till they smell, but if you genuinely know they are clean, you say you do wash them more frequently as needed, then you probably know best for your family.

The word "grim" is getting very overused I think. I thought I must have misunderstood its meaning, as when I see posters berating OPs for being "grim" I was initially confused. But I've looked it io again now and the various meanings are: serious, gloomy, depressing, unrelentingly harsh, unattractive, forbidding, lacking humour or levity.

Finally, I am amazed at all the posters who say their children are completely filthy by the end of the day. Among the activities that cause them to be horrifically dirty are playing, going outside (the horror), colouring and cooking. Felt tip pens have been mentioned a few times. Do the children colour in the nude?? If they get marker or even paint on their hands can they not wash that off during the day? Surely their clothes save the rest of their body. My children love art, paint, glue, kinetic sand, even those awful "make your own ..whatever..." kits but I always get them to clean up after and wash their hands and arms. They need to wash up before eating anyway. I wouldn't dream of leaving them with dirty hands until their bath. Cooking.... if you get flour or sauce etc on your body of course you should clean it right away. Waiting till night time is not a good idea.
Why are all these posters whose children are "grimy" by the end of the day not teaching their children to clean their hands or faces etc during the daytime as needed?
Snot was another thing mentioned as necessitating a daily bath. I have taught my children to blow their noses. If they have a cold and get runny noses I send them off to wash their face as soon as I notice. As do most sensible parents I would hope.
Bragging on mumsnet about how often you bathe your children , but in the same breath saying they are so dirty by evening, is in my opinion, just silly.

Disclaimer. 3 kids. Bathed or showered twice or three times a week. And cleaned with water&flannel as necessary throughout the day, including after using toilet. 10yr old can shower herself and wash own hair so showers more often than younger siblings. Apparently the twice weekly bathing when she was little hasnt set her up for poor hygiene habits.
8yr old has ASD and very challenging behaviour. I'm trying to increase his showers to every other day but he needs a lot of firm encouragement to shower and cannot shower independently yet so it's tough. He definitely doesn't smell though (he is very sensitive to smells so we have all become hyper vigilant about them).

Oh yes, that reminds me. I will finish this essay of a post with a shout out to the poster who said their children "visibly smell" when they come home from school. I am so impressed. What colour is the smell? Is it like a cartoon where characters have a coloured cloud wafting around them?

thank you. it's horrendous and the shower is always worse than a bath for some strange reason. so I can't win 🤣

I feel dirty just reading this. I’m also astounded by the sheer lack of embarrassment. Every couple of months, somebody is happy to admit that they inflict their unwashed family on the general public.

@Goinggreymammy

I don't get it either. I'm constantly wiping my kids faces and hands, frequently taking them to the sink to do so....and every night when they get undressed for bed, I'm assessing do they need a bath.

I do think everyone is different. I don't really sweat that much. I know it sounds silly but it's true. I've genuinely never had sweat patches. I think my children have inherited it from me. They never seem to sweat unless feverish or playing sports. We keep their room cool at night.

Anyway I'm going to ask my MIL if my kids smell. Then I'll know the truth!

@MCOut

Nope not embarrassed.

According to the American Academy of Dermatologists I'm doing ok.

Good to hear you're not embarrassed - you tell 'em!!

I work in a residential home for the elderly, and every single resident I've helped care for over the last 3.5 years does NOT shower every day. Most want to bathe just once or twice a week, but obviously sweaty bits are washed every morning/evening/when needed. The NHS website actually recommends this (although it does recommend only one genital wash a day):

www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/practical-tips-if-you-care-for-someone/how-to-help-someone-you-care-for-keep-clean/#:~:text=have%20a%20bath%20or%20shower%20at%20least%20twice%20a%20week

Someone up thread talked about current generations being almost TOO clean, and I agree - I think that there is definitely a generational aspect to this. People never used to shower every day, let alone twice a day! Really, it's personal preference - I prefer to shower every day. But to call people "dirty" or "disgusting" because their showering habits are different to yours is just rude.

Also, as others have said, showering too often strips your skin of it's natural oils/good bacteria. That's not a good thing!

Prevention is better than cure!