My parents are retired (both 70) and their mortgage was up for renewal 4 years ago. My siblings wanted it to go to equity release as my parents couldn’t remortgage. They only have state pension, no savings.
Parents decided to sell it at undervalue to any of the siblings who could take it on in return for the equity but there is an equal value to the equity of mortgage to pay off and parents would need to live in it. I took it on (the others had just bought multiple properties so could not, one has a v wealthy partner) and am paying interest only. I have to pay repair, renovation costs. My siblings decided a few months ago they wanted my parents to join them and their children on a holiday they planned in the summer without inviting parents initially. They wanted to split business class flights found last minute asking me to pay my share within 24 hours (they’d been planning parents joining for a few months without telling me).
I said no as the current mortgage costs are significantly higher due to rate rises also last minute bookings are costly. They said we all must pay equally and all have costs to bear.
Parents later said they don’t want to join.
They were meant to join siblings at Christmas but the trip was not organised and they spent it on their own (similar for their 70th birthday trip). Siblings did not visit despite being a hour away. I’d made plans with my partner for Christmas as I wasn’t invited to the Christmas event.
Siblings now decided that equity in parents house will be split between all siblings when money is needed. I said this is not what was agreed at the time of sale. Legally property is mine and not up for discussion.
They also want a monthly contribution from all siblings for a holiday fund / living / other expenses for my parents.
I am a contractor and I mentioned my current contract is ending in a few weeks. I haven’t made any pension contributions for a couple of years. My flat has needed, boiler, toilet, roof and floor repairs without warning last year. My parents property needed work due to flooring hazards and damage to walls.
I was screamed at for what was interpreted as not wanting to contribute to holidays. I mentioned I am happy to contribute where I can, when I can but cant predict the future and expenses my side. Also some costs are more important than holidays. They want a commitment that all future costs will be spilt equally. One sibling mentioned they thought a cleaner is needed.
My parents have helped with childcare twice a week and in summer holidays (siblings go on holiday and leave their kids with my parents) since their children were born. (I don’t have children but do like joining family holidays and spending time with the kids (not always the others who can get snappy and abusive from time to time), they dubbed me ‘free childcare’.
I will pay what I can when I can on a case by case basis. Parents said they don’t want any help.
keen to hear your thoughts. Always value the debate / perspectives on this forum.