Surgery abroad - worried

[laalaa7]

My Dad is flying out next week to have a gastric bypass and a hernia removed.

I am beside myself with worry. NHS refused to remove hernias until he's lost 6 stone (for good reason due to risk of being so overweight with anaesthetic and he also has sleep apnea).

I'm trying to talk him out of it but once my Dad has decided on something, there is very little that can change his mind.

He's going alone as my Stepmum cannot get the time off work, he booked it whilst they were on holiday there a couple of weeks ago. I can't go because I have a baby and my siblings are teenagers in school. So he's going to be alone, in a foreign country, having massive surgery then flying back 3 days after.

Such a worry for you. Is he at least having it in a place where they do bariatric surgery regularly, so they are experienced in dealing with patients like your dad?
I hope all goes well and he is soon safely back home with you but I’d be concerned about him flying so soon.

After undergoing bariatric surgery, the time you need to wait before flying can vary depending on several factors. Generally, it is recommended to wait at least 10 to 14 days after the surgery before boarding a plane.
https://www.medical-air-service.com/blog/can-you-fly-after-bariatric-surgery_8987.html#:~:text=After%20undergoing%20bariatric%20surgery%2C%20the,surgery%20before%20boarding%20a%20plane.

I hope it all works out for your Dad.

It sounds like there is very little you can do in this situation. I personally would let him know that you think he's making a judgement error and he needs to be prepared to spend a lot of time in a foreign hospital alone if things go wrong.

Of course a foreign hospital is more likely to take risks with his health if they think they're getting a few pound out of him. I wonder if he's thought of that. I know my Dad would think differently if he realised he was being taken advantage off.

This sounds like a really bad idea - especially flying home solo so soon after the surgery. I hope everything goes okay for him. What’s his plan for after care?

He surely can't fly home that soon ? He will be more at risk of DVT especially if overweight.

No wonder you are worried, it’s a terrible idea. I’d share that link @JusticeIsAFickleWench shared and resort to emotional blackmail and any other form of blackmail to get him to change his mind.

I really hope a gastric surgeon clocks this thread and gives some advice. Flying three days after the surgery is madness, particularly as he is overweight.

I think I would be hiding his passport if it was my DF. I think that you are right to be worried OP.
It is also the very worst time to have a complication post surgery at this time of the year. The majority of hospitals are stretched to the limit with seasonal flu and this years strain is particularly nasty.

I think the only thing you can do is to implore him to wait longer before flying home. Can he not stay an additional week?

Barbaric surgery (and other surgeries) are so expensive here (in the USA), many people travel to other countries to get them done, unfortunately. It is always recommended to travel with a support person but usually, there is a plan on where the patient will go, where they will recover, and how they will get there.

You are absolutely right to worry but it seems like nothing will change his mind. I'd keep trying to chip away at him (and ask other family members to help) to see if he will change his mind but at least ask him to have a Plan B if he doesn't feel well enough to fly after it is over.

I flew abroad for an extremely big surgery with my GP in the UK saying go for it as long as I had properly researched everything.

There are safe places abroad for surgeries. The NHS have even refunded people who have went abroad due to waiting lists in the UK. It wasn't so long ago the news was running stories on one clinic who had helped hundreds of patients from the UK and Ireland.

Have you looked into where he is going. Searched the countries medical rules. Research the practice he is attending and the named surgeon (I'd say that the most important one to check)

The clinic I went to had very strict rules on how long to wait before you could come home. They also kept you in their clinic with their nurses to ensure your safety especially if alone. They arranged transport to and from the airports for your safety too.

Some places abroad will send you to hotels a day after surgery and if you are alone that could be dangerous.

There are Facebook groups for people who have had botched surgery in the UK and abroad and certain places and surgeons names pop up as red flags on them.

Has your Dad got medical insurance for planned treatment abroad this is important if something did happen as normal travel insurance does not cover travel for medical purposes.

Gosh. I had hernia surgery in January. I have a normal BMI and am mid 30s / no additional risks etc. there is absolutely no way I could have got on a flight three days post surgery - I wouldn't have physically been able to sit up that long, move around the airport, go to the cramped plane toilets etc. Also I was taking strong pain relief which sometimes countries don't let you take back through customs etc.

I can totally understand why you're worried - big hugs. I think a PP advised well when they said that you can't do much to stop him but you can tell him what you think, that you're worried and the reasons why.

Does he trust anyone's (a friend, a family member?) particularly who could talk to him? Or do you know any medical doctors who could speak to him about the risks but outside of a consultation?

Hes an idiot, anyine who has surgery abroad is, but you already know that.

Make sure he has excellent insurance that covers him even though he's had surgery - just in case.

It must be so worrying for you. I hope it goes OK for your sake.

A lady I worked with had a gastric sleeve in Turkey and died, she was in her 30s with kids.

It's a bad idea.

I’ve had lots of family members go to Turkey for gastric sleeves and I know at least 15 others - mix of old colleagues, friends of friends, etc

All healthy and fully recovered fine… I’ve been tempted myself but not brave enough

if a clinic with good reviews in Turkey, Mexico, Thailand etc there is 99 chances out of a 100 it will be fine. It sounds he really needs the surgery and has checked it out. See if you can be in touch by whatsapp etc every couple of hours.

Did he actually go and have his surgery OP? If so, did it all turn out OK?

Hi,

I had a gastric sleeve and gallbladder removal at the same time abroad.

I flew home 4 days later and was absolutely fine.

Everything went perfectly.

No doubt I'll be told I was an idiot but in 100lbs lighter now and healthier than I've ever been.

I just wanted to let you know it can all go well.

Hope your Dad is OK x

I'm glad people go abroad for these sorts of surgeries. I see no legitimate reason for the NHS to spend money in these circumstances.

A woman I worked with went to Egypt for a gastric bypass. It was fine.

Do you think people don't deserve NHS help for alcohol addiction either? Drug addiction? Cholesterol problems that are self inflicted? Diabetes?
What about the scores of people who end up in A&E on a Saturday night from drunken antics?
Smokers shouldn't get treatment for cancer on the NHS?
People who self harm shouldn't get treated?

What about the other end of the weight spectrum?

Bulimia? Anorexia? Are they all self inflicted too? Do those people deserve to go abroad for therapy?

Obesity is often the result of many complex issues, often mental health related.

It's not as simple as 'fatty ate too much cake'.

@MeepMep Absolutely help should be available for all those groups and when they give up booze, fans and unnecessary food due to the help given, they can make a contribution from the funds they have. Drunks in A&E should always be expected to make a contribution towards their care unless they have been attacked by a third party.

Behaviour has consequences and the NHS was set up to deal with disease and to educate. If people don't want to be educated, they have to take the consequences for their behaviour. Why should other members of society fund the consequences of poor choices?

Sorry I didn't come back! In between being worried, looking after a baby and moving house I forgot to update.

The operation was successful, he is home and nearly 6 stone down. He feels better than he has done in years and looks amazing. He has so much more energy and says he feels like he's been given a new lease of life. I'm so happy it was successful for him.

@MeepMep glad to hear your op was successful, hope you're doing well!

He said the flight home was very painful!

It didn't help that they sat on the runway for 3 hours whilst they waited for police to come and escort a very drunk and abusive man from the plane 🤦🏻‍♀️