Stepmother being cold for no reason

[stepmumissues1]

I moved to my home country, and the DCs are meant to move in the summer. We’re not friends, but have always been civil and we spoke most days about the children etc. Before I moved, me and exH shared the children 50/50. And when I moved in august we still texted about the kids and other things, and she would ask me how things were here etc . That all stopped around October, when I texted her about the kids she wouldn’t reply, and I took that as a sign that she doesn’t want to talk to me for some reason. The kids were here for Christmas, and they complained something at their dads house, I texted her as it involved her and she didn’t reply. exH texts me saying he’s seen the text etc, and I spoke to him about it instead. She didn’t reply to my text.

I don’t know why she’s suddenly so cold, like I said we’ve always been civil and could speak about things and she would text me often to hear how things went here.

I feel like in way she resents me for leaving, because she has the kids full time living with her and exH does not help which is why I divorced him. There is a reason the kids live with their dad til the summer, it’s an agreement between him and I.

Does she have any kids of her own? Or has she gone from none, to half the time now full time?

Did the kids say anything that hinted exDh has left her with it all? Or if shes stressed? Like say if shes snappy which might be a sign shes struggling?

If she is finding it too much though surely she should mainly direct this resentment at exDH for not stepping up?

I mean if your ghosted and have no clue, its not like you can sort anything out tbh

She does have kids of her own. I agree, she should resent her DH not me. I just find the whole situation weird. Because I literally have done anything wrong.

how can you think you have done nothing wrong? Your children no longer live in the same city as both their parents. You are fundamentally changing relationships for a lifetime.

a step-mother who got no say in something that isn’t best for the children might just be following the policy of ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’.

@Ponderingwindow what do you mean? they live with their dad??

"it’s an agreement between him and I"

Maybe she didn't feel part of the agreement? Maybe she's got other stuff going on? Maybe she's wanting you to liaise with their DF more?

I agree it sounds strange and sudden. But if you've moved country and the DC are currently living with her and her DH (as well as her/their DC), perhaps she's overwhelmed and rather than take it out on you (unfairly) is choosing to go LC until she's feeling more in control.

I admit I'm imaging scenarios here. But without her side of the story, there's no way of knowing what's going on.

Without the full story it's hard to surmise but I guess she's pissed off you've buggered off abroad leaving her to raise your kids, especially if the father of those kids is a deadbeat too

So it’s an agreement between you and your ex and you’re wondering why she feels put out when she’s been left to pick up the pieces because neither of you are there to look after your children?