to find peoles comments of its something ive done to affect ds speech

[bubblagirl]

i had conversation with member of distant family the other day

as most will know ds has speech delay but will be undergoing assessment with multi disciplinery team as they think there is more to it

well he enjoys ceebeebies games on comp and has been playing them since he was about 2 half well this is what helped his speech

anyway member of family asked if i had been told what it was i had done wrong

so i calmly said i ahve been assessed with how i handle ds and i have done nothing wrong its not anything i have done that has caused speech delay

they said well inm my day it was different they didnt have computers we talked withn them all the time

i said speech delay was here long before he started to go on computer an di talked with him all the time and thanks to computer his speech has come along

hmmm was the responce made me feel so mad speech delay was apparent before he was 2 i talked with him all the time has really got my back up

so i said well they think its something more than just speech delay and will be getting assessed as his understanding isnt at level it should be

respnse well it wouldnt hurt just to have someone come round to let you know what your doing wrong

so i said i have had someone round helping and she assures me nothin g to do with me its to be assessed why

hmmm

me very very mad

bitch c*t bitch ct bitch ct bitch ct bitch c*t

Sorry, I never use the c word, except obviously I do now! Silly stupid insensitive ignorant cowpat

Big hug for you

Oh I had this. When ds1 was 2 I was told that he wasn't talking 'because I was talking too much and over him AND (byt the same person)because I wasn't talking ENOUGH to him.

He still doesn't talk aged 9 . Perhaps that's my fault too.

Just ignore them.

How judgemental and insensitive

Try not to let it get to you you know they are wrong. Ignore ignore ignore

Oh FFS, your distant relative is a rude, ignorant tosser. And if I were you I'd have nothing more to do with them.

And Grrrr on Yurt's behalf. They may have given up on the old 'refrigerator mother' bollocks, but they still can't resist blaming mothers, can they?

lovin' the "well it wouldn't have hurt just to have someone round" bit
that's the best bit, that
just ignore it, really...seems like she's got a bee in her bonnet over computers, without really understanding them
i mean, books/paintings etc don't talk, and you don't talk to them, but you never hear anyone connecting a speech delay with reading or doing pictures, eh?
hope it gets sorted.

thanks just winds me up as i then think was it something i done did i not do enough with him did i not talk as much as i think i did

it annoys me as i know there is probably more to reason why he doesnt talk much as he canot pronounce certain sounds properly and that cannot be my fault

but when i mentioned that it could be more it was said oh theres no signs of anyhting like that in my family {dp side of family member}

i know its not me but dont like the fact that someone thinks it does that hurts to think they are talkinga bout e what i dont do

i do evrything for him talk to him read to him play with him LOVE him i know dc who's parents do nothing with them and they talk

oh well just have to remember some people have this mind set as long as i do all i can to help my ds then i'm doing all i can others know that

its worrying enough for me with him having to be assessed and still not speakeing properly atypical as they say he'll be 3 next month i know his not like other 3 yr olds but his mine and i love him regardless

you'll also have to get used to the 'refuse to give him something until he asks for it properly- he'll soon talk then' bollocks. Got a lot of that. and 'you're holding him back'.

It's true edam. Even post diagnosis you have be careful not to get blamed.

you're right...it's her mind set
i wonder if, in days gone by, a mother had this conversation with a relative....
"well, in my day, we didn't have these stone tablets with scratches on them, we just talked..."
in response to the "nothing like that on our side..." i'd've said...no, you all talk before thinking, by the looks of it

Oh I had the odd comment too about dd and her speech delay. And about her flat head too. There are a lot of experts out there

lol minouminou

yurt yes i get told that alot but luckily he can say what he wants now in his own way some things i can jsut about make out and others says it great

yesterday he made me laugh i was in bath and went to get out and out of no where he pipes up sit down

i had to as couldnt get up through laughing bless him he wanted to wash my back with his coap how he says it lol

his speech is kind of coming along but just not normally so has to be assessed his understanding is also behind on certain things he can follow instruction but have to reall get his attention first

oh well i knwo some people looka t him funny as he cant talk but all that know him know he is the most adoreable little boy

its a shame some people have to be so judgemental i dont ever remember looking down at people who's abilities are behind

its weird that now days it seems more important for parents to feel the need to have trophy children instead of ecxcepting them the way they are

if people were less critical maybe there would be nicer children around and less bullying

Big Fluffy Fuckwit

person is clearly talking out of their arse!!!!! They just sound like the sort of wankfuckcuntface busybody who would have something to offer if they felt you were weaning/feeding/washing/cooking incorrectly. Tell them to get a life.

"none of that sort of thing on their side of the family" You should say firstly, what sort of thing? Oh, i was confused for i minute i thought you meant there wasn't any ignorance and fuckwittery on your side

FWIW i had the opposite problem with my family, refusing to believe there could be a problem, even a small one, with DDs speech. Its coming along now and she has been signed off by SALT but i might ask for another assesment as to me she seems to lack behind her peers. DP not keen though.

lem i remember your litle girl we spoke on my speech delayed thread i'm so pleased to hear she is coming along great ds still way behind managing to communicate enough with me but still so far away from anything and hasnt started SALT yet as thye felt they wanted to wait for understanding to improve surely they could do something

anyway yes very annoying when people amke comments unless this is there way of not accepting there may be more to the speech delay blaming me might be easier than to except something else

when we first told MIL that DS2 had been dignosed as having ASD she said

"there isn't any of that on our side of the family"

She was a teacher and then an ofsted inspector
seriously.
Bubblagirl - people are going to say a lot of really stupid things to you. You have my sympathy/empathy - but it will happen.
try and ignore the ignorant

thanks pagwatch i know its not the first time i'm going to encounter it as face lots of looks and raised eyes

but i smile and act all sweetness and nice i just dont get how much children to parents become this show off thing my dc can do this and that then raise eyes at child that cannot do it

well i would hate for people to feel sorry for him also though as theres so much he can do just speech and understanding dont come as easy

still i'm proud of him and at the end of the day i guess thats all that counts

still hurts though as you dont want anyone thinking bad of your dc as you love them so much

good for you
when people are rude, or come out with uninformed toilet, a good thing to say is "i can do without the layman's analysis, thanks"
works a treat

lol min i probaly wouldnt be able to say it and they'll think see thats where speech problems come from lol