URGENT ADVICE NEEDED- BULLYING

[wrd]

Good morning, Everyone.
Urgent advice needed: my son got bullied yesterday online by some of his new his classmates and I don't know what to do. He is Y6.
We moved house and he started at new school in November.
Yesterday he came after school, checked his phone and found one of his classmates added him to a group chat. He was on the phone for less than 10minutes, then put the phone down and went upstairs. Found him crying. He said his new classmates ( he isn't even talking to them in real life), called him sloth, gay and b**.
I didn't see the messages as he left the group.
Him and his older sister were adamant that to be a snitch is the worst in the eyes of other children, but, honestly, I just want to go to school this morning and nip this in the bud, so to speak.
Please, give me advice what to do.
I was going to let it slide, but just heard my son crying at 6am and just put him back to sleep just now.
He is worried, doesn't want to go to school, etc.
in his old school he had very strong friendship group, was really happy and still keeping in touch with all of them.
Should I go to the teacher this morning?

Speak to his teacher. But also a child that age shouldn’t be on whatsapp.

There is only one way out of being bullied at school. Teach the bully a lesson. Bullies only understand force. Teachers can’t and won’t do anything. The bullied parents are probably nasty pieces of crap, otherwise would have raised their children better. You are going to have to teach your son to fight back.

Otherwise the bullies sense weakness and get worse. Don’t play nice OP. And never teach your kids to play nice.

Speak to teacher and ask them not to let child know

Not to let your child know I mean

Yes I'd keep him off all WhatsApp groups. They're the work of the devil and no kids are mature enough to be on them at that age.

Yes, being a snitch is the worst of the worst to kids, however I'd bring it up with school and ask that they put something in the newsletter asking that parents keep an eye on their child's phone use etc.

I also feel really sorry for your son. Moving schools in year 6 must be SO difficult.

Has he made any friends at the new school? If so, invite the nicest one round for a playmate.

Keep his self esteem high by still mixing with other kids outside of school (friends from extracurriculars/old school/elsewhere etc)

Tell the school and ask them to be very vague about how they know - someone else who saw the messages could have reported it. You also need to look at what he has on his phone - there are reasons why children are not allowed certain apps until they’re 13 / 16

Stuff like this can be turned around op. Swift teacher action can warn of bullies. Push on with it and things might change very fast.

in the meantime any nice kids you could have them over for a playdate. Also build out of school stuff - clubs etc

How is he getting on at school ? Does he have frienss ? Yes you should chat to the school about how he is settling in /friendship groups etc. and how he can be supported to make more friends..however what's app chats outside school hours are really not the schools responsibility. As other people have said he is too young for WhatsApp groups and it could all be a storm in a tea cup. Young boys this age haven't a clue. They could have all forgotten about it today and are just throwing random insults out there, not specifically targeting him..find a way to move on. Starting new school in y6 will be difficult and the honeymoon period will be over by now.

I would contact the school and make them aware of the situation and ask what they can do to support your son.
Sadly in the many schools I’ve worked in, the school might say that due to it being outside school hours then there’s limitations to what they can do. They can speak to children about online safety and online bullying but they may not be able to address the children individually or speak to their parents. In this case the school would ask you to report to the police.

i would also edit his WhatsApp settings so he can only be added to groups when he is added by a saved contact. When a number he hasn’t got saved tries to invite him to a group then he can refuse it.

@Hiddenvoice and OP, I would caution you against reporting to the police in this instance.

Both of you will become outcasts at the school if you do this over one instance of nasty messages.

@Dacadactyl not suggesting that op goes directly to police now. Just explaining that this might be the response of the school since it’s outwith school hours.

Primary school kids on WhatsApp can be absolutely evil!! Evan to so called friends, they can quickly start to bicker and turn on each other.
Speak to the school, I'd guarantee you will not be the only parent who has had to report bullying messages over WhatsApp.

I would ask the advice of the school and inform the teacher, but as it happened outside of school hours I wouldn’t expect them to do anything in particular. Online safety is covered in the curriculum, so they could perhaps pull any planned lessons forward but that would be the most I would expect.
Who installed WhatsApp onto his phone? It’s a 16+ app. You should have a look at his parental settings if it wasn’t you or his df.

I 'm so sorry your son is going through this. I would get the school involved.
I would hope above everything they could help immediately with fostering positive relationships with other children and building his overall self esteem as best they could.
I think that the way the bullies should be handled is dependent on many factors, and the teachers that know these children and families are best equipped to make this decision. The emotional intelligence of both the children and their families is part of the reason why I don't believe there's a single best way to deal with bullying and a bullying policy isn't always effective.

"called him sloth, gay and b**."

I don't know what b** is but you absolutely need to talk to the school. Firstly about the bullying and secondly about the use of "gay" as an insult. They need to work on their inclusivity.

Finally, keep your kid off WhatsApp.

I'm so sorry your son is going through this.

Come down hard on this is my advice. Screenshot everything. Take it in. Speak to head of year. I have been through this myself with my own child. Bullies only understand when they are treated in the same way. It's hateful behaviour that needs immediately nipping in the bud.