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AIBU?

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To think this has to be up there with the shittest 40th ever?

204 replies

ReallyShit40th · 11/01/2024 21:38

My birthday is coming up again and it’s got my reminiscing about my 40th, nearly 3 years ago. I know I’m lucky to have seen my 40th, many people don’t etc, but just wondered if anyone could top this for a crap big birthday.

First of all, I’d planned when I was 38 that I would spend my 40th in Thailand with friends and no kids, I’d got my mum to agree to have my kids for 3 weeks way in advance. So that’s what I SHOULD have been doing, here’s what actually happened.

For a start, it was lockdown (2 maybe?). And at that point socialising was banned, I think if you were a single person you were allowed one person in your bubble. So everything was closed and no one was going anywhere at all. My bf, who at that point I’d only been with for 6 months, was working away in another country for a couple of months so he wasn’t around at all.

The week of my birthday I had people from the housing association replacing the wall ties in my house, which involved them using a massive drill and waking me up before 8am each morning (it was half term), by drilling into my bedroom wall from the scaffolding outside. It really did make the most god awful noise. I decided that as my birthday was already going to be crap enough, I wasn’t going to wake up to that on my 40th, so I checked myself into the local travelodge the night before.

So I spent my 40th eve drinking two cans of cider in solitude in a travelodge, thinking well it’s not quite Thailand is it. Then in the morning woke up with terrible back pain from the uncomfortable bed. Then my mum came to meet me at the travelodge to take me out for the only birthday breakfast she could…a spin around the Maccas drive thru in her car (technically meeting my mum was against the covid rules but hell you’re only 40 once). Once breakfast was done I returned home to find that the fucking workmen hadn’t turned up, so the whole travelodge thing was for nothing.

Started to feel a bit queer not long after I got home, which quickly evolved into full blown food poisoning, from the McDonald’s breakfast is the only explanation, so I spent the afternoon puking, and shitting through the eye of a needle.

Thankfully after a few hours of that it seemed to be out of my system, so I got changed and headed to my birthday ‘party’, which consisted of two of my friends and going over to one of their houses. Now again, this was one more person that we were technically allowed, but as far as we were going to push things in the days of curtain twitching neighbours and people grassing people up. The friend whose house it was is a very good friend, the other was a more recent one. The more recent one turned up
steaming drunk and was just nasty all night, culminating in standing over me and screaming in my face because ‘my life was perfect’ - it’s almost laughably far from perfect - before storming out of the house and flouncing away. So then it was just me and my other friend, who I love dearly but it wasn’t much of a 40th bash really.

Of course everyone was like ‘you’ll have to make up for it when lockdown is over’, but in reality that was never going to happen, no one gave a shit that it had been my birthday many months before and were busy doing things they hadn’t been able to do previously.

Can anyone top that for a shit 40th? My 30th was even worse, believe it or not, and I really planned to make up for that when I turned 40, but it clearly wasn’t to be.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 11/01/2024 21:41

Lots of people had crap birthdays during covid. It is past. Move on. Plan a nice 50th.

WhereIsBebèsChambre · 11/01/2024 21:45

Sorry to be depressing if this is light hearted, also had 40th in lockdown, so just me and dh and a dc, and then got told dear friend had agressive grade 4 cancer so wouldn't make 40, the joys of telephone follow ups for breast cancer in lockdown.

LifeIsHardAlways · 11/01/2024 21:47

Honestly you sound like a brat and making a big deal out of it. I think it’s staggering you’d have left your children for 3 weeks to go to Thailand (if your plan had happened).

Most people are happy with a birthday meal, I think at 43 you need to grow up.

ChedderGorgeous · 11/01/2024 21:49

You should report yourself to your local police stn today for breaking lockdown rules. 40 year olds should be more sensible

Sunflower8848 · 11/01/2024 21:50

Sounds like a big disappointment. Sorry it didn’t turn out as you hoped 😣

Ourshoddyhouse · 11/01/2024 21:52

Hope your next birthday is better 😊

Icantbedoingwithit · 11/01/2024 21:52

Ha ha OP, that was pretty shit!

idontlikealdi · 11/01/2024 21:52

I think you need to move on.

Never mind the fact you wanted your mum to have your kids for three weeks?!

WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 11/01/2024 21:52

Oh dear op, the crazies are out!
Travel lodges are miserable.

As pp said... Plan a better 50th!!

oneflewoverthe · 11/01/2024 21:52

Bloody hell I'm 40 in September and wouldn't expect a 3 week trip away from my family. Nor would I want one. You're coming off as quite spoiled. Lot of people suffered in lockdown in more serious ways.

Mojodojocasahaus · 11/01/2024 21:55

That was a shit birthday op. Plan a fabulous 45 - nowt to stop ya now

MermaidMummy06 · 11/01/2024 21:55

My 40th consisted of DH asking what I was buying myself & went off to work as usual.

I learned to give the same effort I get in return.

It's really just another birthday.

MailMe1 · 11/01/2024 21:56

My aunty took her own life on my 30th, of course she wasn’t to know it was my birthday in her state of mind. My 40th was also lockdown, very quiet but I have my husband and kids.

BizzyMcWhizzFace · 11/01/2024 21:57

My friend had Covid, in lockdown on her birthday and had to look after her 2 kids on her own feeling rotten because her husband was working away so he didn't get Covid too. But yours sucks big time in multiple ways.

Waitingfor5pm · 11/01/2024 21:57

That was an amusing read, thanks! At least it gave you a story to tell and it was memorable day! 😁💐

Vgbeat · 11/01/2024 21:58

My 40th was equally pretty shit. 39th full lockdown, 40th full lockdown. I'd had cervical cancer at 38 so was pretty pleased to get to 40 and really wanted to do something amazing. I'm 43 in March still waiting 🤣

Switcher · 11/01/2024 21:58

Enjoy a nice 50th! I was pregnant on my 40th. I went on a business trip and no one even knew it was my birthday.

OutFromUnderYou · 11/01/2024 21:58

OP, don't you know that on MN if you care about your birthday you are a spoiled and grabby brat?

Meanwhile, in the real world, yes that's a shit birthday. Never mind, you can spend every one from now on making sure it's better than the last.

Iam4eels · 11/01/2024 21:59

Ah OP, you made an MN error and expected to actually have a nice time on your birthday. In MN Land you are not to expect this, you're supposed to be fawningly grateful if anyone even so much as acknowledges your birthday. Birthdays are not for proper adults. On MN birthdays are a shameful secret that are only for children and grabby types.

FWIW, I spent the first hour of my lockdown 40th weeping in the garden with a double-double vodka while DH kept the DC inside until I got my shit together then we had a nice barbecue and camped out in the garden.

OhwhyOY · 11/01/2024 21:59

Why don't you do a celebration for another birthday e.g. 40+4? I would quite happily treat a 40+x party the same as a 40th, just get it set up and do it! Don't wait for your 50th, it puts too much pressure on it and that could just as easily go wrong. Carpe diem!

Sparklfairy · 11/01/2024 22:00

Clearly you posted when all the cantankerous lot are still lurking about OP Wink

Not a birthday, but one Christmas. I'd arranged to stay at DMs for a couple of weeks. She lives in the next town and she offered to pick me up after she'd done some Xmas food shopping. I'd been working nights, and was seriously, seriously sleep deprived. Unbeknownst to me, I may well have been starting to unravel...

The night before she was due to come, I said, 'Okay, I finish work at 5am, so I'll get some sleep and then can you call me when you're leaving the house, then while you're in the supermarket I can throw some things in a bag and I'll have time to wake up and get ready...' She says sure, all good.

I woke up to a text saying 'I'm at Asda'... sent a while ago. No missed calls. I dragged myself out of my groggy stupor in a bit of a panic, and without really thinking, rang her. I ended up completely raging at her down the phone, saying 'I told you to CALL me when you LEFT, not when you ARRIVED! Now I'm in a flap and will probably forget to pack something important, and I haven't even got time for a COFFEE! You know what? Fuck it, forget it, I'm just not gonna come. CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED!' and I hung up and burst into tears Blush I never cry!

I realise now that it was the stupid nightshifts and lack of sleep that made my um... fuse rather short. We laugh about it now but I spent Xmas day by myself in my little flat, sulking quite a bit Wink

Backinthedress · 11/01/2024 22:01

My 40th was more recent, no lockdown, but I had Covid and had had it long enough that it was going into long covid. I had only just started a new job 4 mpnths before and endednup being off for over three months so was scared I was going to lose my job, plus it was the first time I'd made proper plans for my bday - well - had a partner who cared about me enough that he offered to make proper plans for me and I had to cancel them all.
I was sad, scared and felt like shit. I spent the morning sobbing on the floor of the shower because I was too tired to wash myself.

Still better than the birthday where DD and I both had a D&V bug and (my now ex) husband shouted at me because I was sad he hadn't got me a card or done anything for my birthday. Apparently he was too tired and distracted by having to make dinners that week because I'd been too ill.
He left me for the OW a few months later. Should have seen that coming.

Birthdays are rarely good for me, and yet every year I live in hope. Foolish, foolish woman

ItsBeenRaining · 11/01/2024 22:04

But it's MY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!!!!!

If that's the worst thing you've had to complain about especially given it was during Covid whilst everyone else had restrictions, then I think you're doing well.

Three weeks without your kids, your poor mother.

2024BigWhoop · 11/01/2024 22:06

I spent my 40th birthday in hospital after I had an unexpected and severe seizure and if all the MRI/CT scans and lumbar punctures weren’t enough, the real icing on the (birthday) cake was that I also had to surrender my driving licence ☹️

That was a pretty shitty 40th.

At least your shit birthday can be told as an amusing monologue……I definitely can’t find anything amusing to say about my disastrous 40th birthday.

Snowydaysfaraway · 11/01/2024 22:08

After being nc with my dm for 10 years we had reconnected.. She had met my dc. And my ddog! Even my dh liked her. We planned a small garden party for my 40th.. We all got dressed up smart... Even ddog behaved and didn't steal any food.. Dh insisted he got a new PS game as it wasn't fair the day was all about me.. Come 3pm dh started getting moody wanting people to leave (telling me privately). Dm had travelled a few hours by train.. And had the journey back... Friends were quite local... It became awkward and embarrassing.. People left.. I put the dc to bed whilst he gamed.. Went to bed alone at 9pm while he carried on playing.
Divorced him before I was 41
..married a decent man on my 44th..

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