Was GP unreasonable?

[Whosthatgirll]

I saw the doctor today for mental health problems and all they seemed concerned about was putting me on contraception (have a newborn and 3 year old) namely the mirena coil as she said you only need to have periods if you want to get pregnant, otherwise get rid of them. I told her I didn’t want anything at the moment as we haven’t decided our family is complete yet and may want a third child (took a long time TTC DC1 after the pill so didn’t have hormonal contraception between the 2 children), at which point she said (and completely seriously not as a joke) “what would you want to do that for” when I didn’t answer as I was in shock she said “more children would just be more inconvenience wouldn’t it”. I can’t believe she said that, especially as it was infront of my 3 year old who understands a lot. I did not link my mental health to having children and just can’t believe this happened today.

She shouldn’t have said what she said. However she’s probably worried there’s a risk you may get pregnant soon and 3 children under 4 would not help your mental health at all.

when you attended the appointment, what were you hoping for? anti depressants? a referral? because that is basically all that is available to GP unless there is a concern for the safety of your children - in which case, there are other avenues they explore. and in the first instance address the issue of whether contraception

OP you have a new born, you have a toddler, you have serious enough mental health concerns that you’re seeing your GP and you are not on any form of contraception (are you using condoms)?

It's hard to say with the information you've given.

If you had been discussing how your mental health is manifesting, it would seem quite odd to be discussing a third child in this context unless your MH doesn't impact your kids at all?

It's hard to imagine the conversation

They prescribed antidepressants at the end of the consult

all they seemed concerned about was putting me on contraception
so not quite

Yes we are, same as between DC1 and 2

she prescribed you antidepressant and wanted to use the opportunity to discuss contraception

The comments the GP made were rude, but they clearly didn’t only advise on contraception. They were probably trying to protect your mental health further as another baby now would be incredibly hard if you are depressed but they still should have taken no for an answer.

I understand you op. After I had my 4th dc, every time I went to the drs all they wanted to discuss was contraception as I wasn't on any, even when that was not what I had gone in for. (I was sterilised during dc4's section!)

I’d say 90% of the time was about contraception and then at the end she put me on antidepressants I’d had before, no discussion about it. But my concerns are the comments made more than anything else - calling children an inconvenience?!

OP today has been a big day for you. You weee brave, took the leap and have reached out for help.

you now have antidepressants.

see today as a positive day rather than hours later stewing about this

Thanks, I think I just need to chill out 🙈

She didn’t say your child or any child is an inconvenience, she said having 3 very small children would be inconvenient. Probably trying to show empathy for the fact that having small kids is very hard, and you are clearly feeling that. But it does sound like she could have handled it better.

But the important thing is you have antidepressants.

So they didn’t just want to discuss contraception then. I’m pretty sure if they knew you had 4 children, they would also know you’d been sterilised.

Then you would be wrong as they had no idea!!!

It is normal for a post birth appointment to review contraception, especially if mh is fragile. Surrey another pregnancy at the moment is not going to help you. Maybe the wording was clumsy but the intent was to support you.

when I had a newborn, they just went on and on about contraception to me too (no mental health issues). I think it's part of the protocol post birth as so many people think no periods = no chance of pregnancy and get pregnant accidentally.

It also takes your body 18 months to recover from pregnancy, they say now, so getting pregnant straight away after birth can cause extra health issues if you're unlucky

The GP needs to be very careful about prescribing anything to someone likely to become pregnant. Using adequate contraception means you have more treatment options eg medication.
Plus they have to consider safeguarding of your children as if you are already struggling with a severe mental illness.
I have schizo-affective disorder (type of bipolar disorder) and had to come off some medication before ttc & during pregnancy & can only be prescribed it now as I am on adequate contraception. There was never any questions of risks to my children it is prescription guidelines & is the same for many medication eg for epilepsy.

I would recommend you engage with the support available there's not much available even for most severe mental illness & support for mothers with young children is usually better so make use of it while it's offered.

She isn’t likely to become pregnant as she is using contraception. She is using condoms which are very effective at preventing pregnancy when used correctly. So not using hormonal contraception should have no baring on OPs access to mental health treatment.

Wtf I'm really surprised by the comments! Yes I think the wording you've told us was very out of order, and no it's not normal to say that children will be more inconvenience IN FRONT OF the children, or frankly at all! I would be seriously unimpressed.

As PPs have said, it is standard for postnatal appointments to discuss contraception. I’ve also just had this. I think you’re overthinking it. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for the GP to see having lots of small kids/babies/pregnancies close together as bloody hard work.

I'm fucking incandescent that GPs will push hormal contraception so readily.

Fucking with our repro hormones doesn't only affect our repro system - we are complicated biological animals and deliberately sending one system out of whack isn't something to be taken as lightly as it is done. Western medicine sees periods as inconvenient, (and i don't disagree with this) HOWEVER Eastern medicine sees them as a sign of health, healthy detox and one of the many ways we can notice if something is going wonky and needs treating.

As somebody who's body was screwed up by taking hormonal contraception for years, I'm incredibly angry that the mirena fucking coil is being pushed at an appointment to discuss mental health.

And don't get me started on the difficulties people have trying to beg and plead with doctors to have the mirena taken back out because it turns out it doesn't suit them. 😒

It's irrelevant whether the GP sees it as hard work though. The GP should have asked if the OP has finished having children, not assumed, and respected her answer.

So the fact you were sterilised was not recorded in any of your notes 😐 @Phillipa12